The Gentlemen of both Left and Right state: we find no faults with the other team’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem, saying, ‘A fleeting dream I feel’ (hakanaki yume wa oboenuran) leading to ‘The three worlds’ Buddhas’ bells yet sound’ (miyo no hotoke no kane no hibiki) is particularly fine in configuration and conception [sugatakotoba kotoni yoroshiku koso]. The Right’s poem, too, starting ‘Buddhas’ Honoured names are as the morning sun’ (hotoke no mina wa asahi nite) and then having ‘Finally dispelling the year’s dewfall’ (yagate kieyuku hito tose no tsuyu) is reminiscent of the passage from the Samantabhadra Contemplation Sutra ‘many sins are like frost or dew – one can avoid and extinguish them with the sun of the Buddha’s blessings’; both poems move the heart and so I cannot say which is better or worse. Thus, the round ties.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we find no faults in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Buddhas’ names are recited at other times than the Ceremony of Reciting the Buddhas’ Names. In response: recitation of the names at around the twentieth day of the Twelfth Month is the Buddhas’ Names ceremony.
Shunzei’s judgement: that the Left’s poem has no faults, the Right have already said. Is the courtiers giving their names and leaving with the dawn reminiscent of the Buddhas’ names ceremony? It seems to be drawing on that old song, ‘when the dawntime moon brings brightness, announcing his name on leaving, is the cuckoo!’ The faultless poem wins.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we must say that the Left’s poem has no faults. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we wonder about the expression ‘frozen sins’ (kōreru tsumi).
Shunzei’s judgement: saying ‘torches of bamboo’ (take no tomoshibi) in order to refer to the ‘three worlds’ Buddhas’, is a somewhat unusual expression. The Right’s ‘my frozen sins do vanish into the skies’ (kōreru tsumi ya sora ni kiyuran) seems elegant [yū ni miehaberu], but refers only to the sins vanishing, and the conception of the Buddhas’ names seems somewhat lacking. Comparing the two poems, they must tie.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem is extremely august. The Gentlemen of the Left state: with regard to the Right’s poem – the reason one gives ones name at the ceremony is not for the sake of the Buddhas, is it?
Shunzei’s judgement: the final section of the Left’s poem recollects the strict spiritual practice of Siddhārtha. The Right have raised some questions over the purpose or announcing one’s name, but I do not find the reference problematic here. In addition, while the Left’s ‘Names have I heard’ (na sae kikitsuru) lacks profundity [koto asakeredo], the final section is in accordance with correct understanding. There is no winner or loser this round.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian [tsune no koto nari].
Shunzei’s judgement: the sound of ‘Bamboo by the river, leaves streaming’ (kawatake no nabiku), leading to ‘the three worlds’ Buddhas’ (miyo no hotoke) is not a particularly good expression. In the Right’s poem, if it was changed to ‘the disappearance of one’s sins is pleasant, but’ (tsumi no kiyuru koto wa ureshiki o), this would be more in line with the conception of the final section of the poem. By beginning ‘how pleasant that’ (ureshiku mo) it sounds as if the poet is pleased to bear another year, too. I wonder, is ‘bamboo by the river’ a recollection of the Palace Gardens? The Left should win.
The Gentlemen of the Left and Right state jointly: why be bothered about proffering Kaenashi sake, or courtiers giving their names?
Shunzei’s judgement: the poems of both Left and Right merely recall the order of events at the ceremony of reciting the Buddhas’ names. In conception and quality [kokoro mo uta hodo mo] they are equal.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: why have the ‘bell’ (kane) here? The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem, having the poet buried beneath his bedclothes, which alter the sound of the bell recollects a composition on the ‘bell at the Temple of Bequeathed Love’. Nevertheless, the Gentlemen of the Right have asked, ‘Why have the bell here?’, and they are right to do so. The Right’s poem, on how the feeling of cold on a chill, snowy night vanishes briefly, exactly conveys the ‘bedding’s effect’ (fusuma no shirushi). Thus, it is without fault. I must make the Right the winner.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we wonder about the use of ‘bedding of little point’ (fusuma yoso ni)? The Gentlemen of the Left state: we find no faults in the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are on ‘bedding’ (fusuma), with the Left saying that it seems of little purpose at a gathering around a charcoal fire-pit, and the Right, that it seems to be thin when the cold comes. So, we go from it doing no good, even if you do have it on, to it being pointless when you are happy and warm. What point are these poems trying to make, I wonder? The Left should win.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we don’t understand the reference to ‘Kie Folk’ (kiehito). In response, the Gentlemen of the Left state: it occurs in the Man’yōshū. We have nothing more to say than that.
Shunzei’s judgement: although various remarks have been made about ‘Kie Folk’, and it has been said that it occurs in the Man’yōshū, it is not acceptable to simply say that and then say nothing more. It does appear to be something which it is acceptable to extract from the Man’yōshū and compose with, though. The Right’s poem, too, with its conception of frost falling on a ‘meagre hempen blanket’ (asade kobususma) is in a Man’yō style [fūtei]. It is also certainly the case that it is not unreasonable for the Left to have used ‘motley-coloured coverlet’ (madarabususma). The Round should tie.