The Right state: when one understands the purport of the Left’s poem, it comes as a revelation. The Left state: in the Right’s poem we are unable to grasp the sense of ‘it will never come’ (idezu). In addition, the conception of Love seems lacking.
In judgement: both poems ‘evenings’ are support by little diction, yet the conception of Love is profound, indeed, such that my own shallow knowledge finds it difficult to grasp. However, the Right’s ‘Today, it will never come’ (kyō oba idezu) certainly does seem difficult to comprehend. I would have to say that the Left’s ‘So used to it that it’ (narureba hito no) is marginally superior.
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘faithfully sweeps’ (wasurezu harau). The Left state: while the Right’s poem is in keeping with the conception of the topic, it seem as if the reference to ‘evening’ serves little purpose.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘Spending this evening on thoughts of love’ (yūbe ya wakite nagamuran) is appropriate, but I find ‘The wind across the silver-grass’ (ogi no kaze) somewhat problematic. The initial section of the Right’s poem, too, is not bad, but saying ‘On an autumn evening unable to forget her’ (aki no yūbe ni hito wa wasureji) suggests that forgetting is the norm, and I wonder about that. The Left wins on account of its initial section.
Both Left and Right state: we find no faults to remark upon.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘flying bird going’ (tobu tori no yuku kata) and the Right’s ‘spider spinning’ (kumo no furumai) are both certainly not uncharming. I make this round a tie.
sawadagawa
sode tsuku bakari
asakeredo
hare
asakeredo
kuni no miyabito ya
takahashi watasu
aware
soko yoshi ya
takahashi watasu
The River Sawada
It does soak your sleeves
Though it’s only shallow
Hey!
Though it’s only shallow
Folk from the capital
Have put a great bridge across it!
For shame!
Is there any point
To putting a great bridge across it?
mimoro no
kamunabi yama ni
iope sasi
sidi ni opitaru
tuga no ki no
iya tugitugi ni
tamakadura
tayuru koto naku
aritutu mo
yamazu kayopamu
asuka no
puruki miyako pa
yama takami
kawa toposirosi
paru no pi pa
yama si migaposi
aki no yo pa
kapa si sayakesi
asagumo ni
tadu pa midare
yupugiri ni
kawadu wa sawagu
miru goto ni
ne nomi si nakayu
inisie omopeba
On the sacred
Mountain of the Gods
With many branches
Flourishing grow
Hemlock trees,
All and ever joined with
Hydrangea
Never-ending
Always there
Ever would I be
In Asuka,
The ancient capital, where
Mountains mighty and
Rivers grand do lie, and
On spring days
It is the mountains I would see;
On autumn nights
The river, so refreshing!
Amongst the morning clouds
The cranes do swoop and soar;
The evening mists
Are noisy with the frogs;
The simple sights
Call forth my tears
While I think on times gone by…
It is said that Her Majesty, when on the way to the capital, Nara, from the Fujiwara palace, had her palanquin halted at Nagaya-no-hara and composed this poem gazing at her former home.
飛鳥 明日香能里乎 置而伊奈婆 君之當者 不所見香聞安良武 [一云 君之當乎 不見而香毛安良牟]
飛ぶ鳥の明日香の里を置きて去なば君があたりは見えずかもあらむ
tobu tori no
asuka no sato wo
okite inaba
kimi ga atari pa
miezu kamo aramu
A bird in flight: If the estate of Asuka I should leave behind, Then my Lord’s lands I will see no more.