All posts by temca

Love X: 8

Left
心ゆく野路の旅寝の友なくはいとど都や恋しからまし

kokoro yuku
noji no tabine no
tomo naku wa
itodo miyako ya
koishikaramashi
To ease my heart
While sleeping on my travels ‘tween the fields
I have no friend at all, so
How much more the capital
Does seem dear to me now!

Lord Kanemune
1155

Right (Win)
立ち宿る一夜ばかりの契だにさてながらふる人もある世を

tachiyadoru
hitoyo bakari no
chigiri dani
sate nagarauru
hito mo aru yo o
Lodging on one’s travels,
For just a single night,
A love
That lasts with
A lady does happen sometimes, yet…

Nobusada
1156

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no entertainers, or conception of love, either. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks entertainers.

In judgement: it seems that the Gentlemen of both teams have already stated that both poems lack the conception of Love. However, they seem to me to both capture the conception of entertainers. The Right’s configuration and conception are fine. It should win, I think.

Love X: 7

Left
頼むなるあさけ神しも幣はせん君が心やわれになびくと

tanomu naru
asake kami shimo
nusa wa sen
kimi ga kokoro ya
ware ni nabiku to
Worship she does
The goddess Asake, so should even
I make her an offering?
Then might my lady’s heart
Trail in my direction…

Kenshō
1153

Right (Win)
鏡山君に心やうつるらむいそぎ立たれぬ旅衣かな

kagamiyama
kimi ni kokoro ya
utsururamu
isogi tatarenu
tabigoromo kana
Upon Mirror Mount
Has my heart
Found lodging? For
In haste to rise and don
My travelling garb, I am not!

Lord Tsune’ie
1154

Left and Right state: there are no faults to mention in either poem.

In judgement: both Left and Right here refer to a ‘person’ (kimi), with the Left’s ‘making her an offering’ (nusa wa sen) that she might ‘trail in my direction’ (ware ni nabiku ya), while the Right’s has left his heart on Mirror Mount and ‘is not in haste to rise and don his travelling garb’ (isogi tatarenu tabigoromo): each of these poems is evocative, and makes effective use of wordplay, with the Left’s ‘make her an offering’ certainly resembling something I have come across previously, but the initial ‘goddess Asake’ is poor. The Right’s ‘Mirror Mount’ (kagami yama) is something I am familiar with, and this has a gentle tone. Thus, the Right wins.

Love X: 6

Left (Win)
誰となく寄せては返る浪枕浮きたる舟の跡もとどめず

tare to naku
yosete wa kaeru
namimakura
ukitaru fune no
ato mo todomezu
To no one
Cleaving, they return;
Pillowed on the waves
The drifting boats’
Wakes fail to linger long…

A Servant Girl
1151

Right
何方を見ても忍ばむ難波女の浮き寝の跡に消ゆる白浪

izukata o
mitemo shinobamu
naniwame no
ukine no ato ni
kiyuru shiranami
Whither
Should I look in longing?
With a girl from Naniwa
I slept briefly, but her
Wake vanishes among the whitecaps…

Jakuren
1152

Both Left and Right together state: neither poem is bad.

In judgement: both poems seem elegant in configuration and diction, but the Right’s ‘girl from Naniwa’ (naniwame) raises the same issue as ‘diving girl’, only more so – there is not even evidence on this from inclusion in the Collection of Poems to Sing, is there? The Left’s ‘cleaving, they return; pillowed on the waves’ (yosete wa kaeru namimakura) really does seem like a pleasure girl, so I must say it is superior.

Love X: 5

Left (Win)
心通ふゆききの舟のながめにもさしてかばかり物は思はじ

kokoro kayou
yukiki no fune no
nagame ni mo
sashite ka bakari
mono wa omowaji
Her heart goes out
On the back-and-forth of boats
That fill her gaze, but
Surely her
Thoughts will not be as mine…

Lord Sada’ie
1149

Right
舟のうち浪の上なる浮き寝には立ち帰るとて袖ぞ濡れける

fune no uchi
nami no ue naru
ukine ni wa
tachikaeru tote
sode zo nurekeru
Within a boat,
Atop the waves
I sleep but briefly and
When I am to leave,
How soaked are my sleeves…

Lord Tsune’ie
1150

As the previous round.

In judgement: the use of ‘surely’ (sashite) in the final section of the Left’s poem sounds like it has been deliberately used to evoke a connection with the earlier ‘boat’ (fune). The initial section of the Right’s poem draws, yet again, on Mochitoki’s over-long line. The latter section also sounds like a deliberate use of evocative language, and the final line lacks impact. It is inferior to the Left’s poem.