Left (Win).
浪寄する澤の蘆邊をふし侘て風に立つなり鴫の羽がき
| nami yosuru sawa no ashibe o fushiwabite kaze ni tatsunari shigi no hanegaki |
A wave beats on The marshy reed beds; Roost broken, sorrowfully Starting up into the breeze The snipe work their wings. |
407
Right.
明ぬとて澤立つ鴫の一聲は羽かくよりも哀なりけり
| akenu tote sawa tatsu shigi no hito koe wa hane kaku yori mo aware narikeri |
Crying that there’s no dawn yet, Starting from the marsh, a snipe’s Single call, More that his beating wings Summons sadness… |
408
The Right wonder, ‘if it wouldn’t be rather difficult for a lightly beat its wings on taking off into the wind, as in the Left’s poem?’ The Left respond with, ‘In the Right’s poem, the accustomed reference to the sound of the snipe’s wings, seems subordinated to its cry. Is that right?’
Shunzei’s judgement: A snipe’s wing-beats on taking off into a strong wind are not that vigorous. ‘The snipe work their wings’ (shigi no hanegaki) is what they do, whether gently or not. However, this poem has more of a feeling of reed-bed dwelling birds like cranes, or plovers. In the Right’s poem, it’s not clear what kind of snipe it is ‘starting from the marsh’. The Left’s ‘reed-bed snipe’ should win.