Autumn II: 27

Left (Win).


kokoro koso
kumoi harukani
nagame mo sasou
hirosawa no tsuki
My heart
To the distant heavens
Is drawn
Pulled in by the sight
Of the moon at Hirosawa.

Lord Ari’ie.




tsuki no sumu
sora wa yoso ni mo
kawaraji wo
manako ni amaru
hirosawa no kage
The moon, so clearly lodged
Within the skies, distant yet
The sight can never sate my eyes
Light on Hirosawa.

Lord Takanobu.


The Right complain that in the Left’s poem the phrase ‘moon at Hirosawa’ (hirosawa no tsuki) is ‘grating on the ear’. The Left respond that ‘The sight can never sate my eyes light on Hirosawa’ (manako ni amaru hirosawa no kage) in the Right’s poem is, too.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘moon at Hirosawa’, I do not feel to be grating. What sort of expression, though is ‘pulled in by the sight’ (nagame mo sasou)? The Right is reminiscent of expressions like ‘all four corners of the world do not exhaust my gaze’, which when one hear’s them in Chinese poetry are remarkable, but sound wrong in a Japanese poem, and are even incomprehensible! ‘The moon at Hirosawa’ is, perhaps, more interesting. Thus, the Left wins.

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