Dairi uta’awase – Tentoku yo-nen 14

Round Fourteen

Left (Tie)

さよふけてねざめざりせばほととぎす人づてにこそきくべかりけれ

sayo fukete
nezamezariseba
hototogisu
hitozute ni koso
kikubekarikere
When brief night broke, and
I failed to awaken to
The cuckoo,
Via a message, indeed,
Was I able to hear it!

Tadami
27

Right

人ならばまててふべきをほととぎすふたこゑとだにきかですぎぬる

hito naraba
mate chōbeki o
hototogisu
futa koe to dani
kikade suginuru
Were you a man,
‘Wait!’ is what I’d tell you,
O, cuckoo!
For without even a second call
For me to hear have you passed by.

Motozane
28

The Left’s poem, where the poet seems to awaken without a thought of hearing the cuckoo, is certainly somewhat odd. Nevertheless, the poem overall is charming. As for the Right’s poem, well, what is the poet trying to say by asking the cuckoo to wait when he will hear its first call, if it were a man? Is the conception, perhaps, for the cuckoo to wait a while? There’s not enough diction for the conception here, I feel. Both of these are about the same standard, so I make this a tie.

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