Cuckoos

Round One

Left

ほととぎすまきのとばかりまちつれどなかであけぬる夏のしののめ

hototogisu maki no to bakari machitsuredo nakade akenuru natsu no shinonome

O, cuckoo, Briefly by my door of cedar wood Did I await you, yet No song, at all, brightened This summer edge of dawn.

Lord Dainagon
15

Right (Win)

ほととぎすなくうれしさをつつめどもそらにはこゑもとまらざりけり

hototogisu naku ureshisa o tsutsumedomo sora ni wa koe mo tomarazarikeri

At the cuckoo’s Song, my joy To hold fast did I try, yet In the skies, his cry Lingered not.

Lord Chūnagon
16

The Left’s poem, after careful consideration, has a graceful style. The diction of the Right’s poem is superb, and there is an excess of conception. Reading and reciting these leaves my aged heart at a loss. Thus, they tie.

In the Left’s poem, ‘briefly’ is an expression which means ‘just for a short time’, I think, and thus the sentiments are lacking. Saying ‘brightened…edge of dawn’ sounds as if the poet has only begun waiting at daybreak. One does see, apparently, a number of poems in prior matches where the poet has not heard the cuckoo. Nevertheless, I do wonder about whether this is appropriate, given that poems where the cuckoo has been heard are faultless. The Right’s poem is not that good, but it is poetic. Thus, it has to win.