Love II: 10

Left (Tie).

生けらばと誓ふその日も猶來ずはあたりの雲を我と眺めよ

ikeraba to
chikau sono hi mo
nao kozu wa
atari no kumo o
ware to nagameyo
Had I lived…think on
That day you vowed, and
Yet came not;
On the clouds close by
Gaze and think of me…

A Servant Girl.

679

Right.

言の葉にしばしもとまる露の命かけんかけじは君にまかせつ

koto no ha ni
shibashi mo tomaru
tsuyu no inochi
kaken kakeji wa
kimi ni makasetsu
Words that
Remain so briefly –
A dewdrop life –
To give them, or give them not,
That I leave to you!

Lord Takanobu.

680

The Gentlemen of the Right state: there is nothing particularly at fault with the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is not that good.

Shunzei’s judgement: mentioning ‘the clouds close by’ (atari no kumo) and ‘remain so briefly –as does life’ (shibashi mo tomaru inochi) gives both poems a sense of pathos. I would say they are of the same quality.

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