Left.
君や憂き空やはつらきともすればあはれあな憂とうち眺めつつ
| kimi ya uki sora ya wa tsuraki tomo sureba aware ana u to uchinagametsutsu |
Is it your coldness, Or the sky’s cruelty? No, it is neither, that Feeling the cold Keeps me gazing at the heavens… |
Lord Ari’ie
767
Right (Win).
もの思ふ心の秋の夕まぐれ真葛が原に風渡るなり
| mono’omou kokoro no aki no yūmagure makuzu ga hara ni kaze watarunari |
Sunk in lonely thought Am I this autumn Evening: A field of arrowroot Blown over by the wind… |
Nobusada
768
The Right state: we find no faults to indicate in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the Right’s poem is commonplace, and the ending lacks force.
In judgement: although the Left’s poem reminds me of ‘Feeling the pain will I spend my time?’ (aware ana u to sugushitsuru kana), ‘the sky’s cruelty?’ (sora ya tsuraki) is also elegant [yū]. However, the expression ‘cold’ (u) appears in both the initial and final sections of the poem. The Right’s ‘field of arrowroot blown over by the wind’ (makuzu ga hara ni kaze watarunari) is charming. I don’t belief the ending lacks force. Both poems are fine, but as the Left contains a fault, the Right wins.