Love IV: 26

Left (Win).
慰めてまどろむ程の戀ならば夜さへ物は思はざらまし

nagusamete
madoromu hodo no
koi naraba
yoru sae mono wa
omowazaramashi
Feeling some relief,
Enough, at least, to doze:
If that was my love, then
Until the fall of night
I would wish to avoid these gloomy thoughts.

Lord Suetsune.
831

Right.
目に見えぬ夜こそまされ天雲のよそに成行く人のつらさは

me ni mienu
yoru koso masare
amagumo no
yoso ni nariyuku
hito no tsurasa wa
When all goes unseen
At night, it overwhelms me:
The cloudy heavens’
Distance, where he has gone
So heartlessly.

Ietaka.
832

The Right state: there are no faults to indicate. The Left state: we wonder about the suitability of the impression conveyed by ‘When all goes unseen at night’ (me ni mienu yoru) on hearing it.

In judgement: the poem of the Right, with its ‘The cloudy heavens’ distance, where he has gone’ (amagumo no yoso ni nariyuku) is elegant, but it is certain that ‘When all goes unseen’ (me ni mienu) recalls the expression from the Kokin Preface, ‘unseen gods and demons’. The Left’s poem sounds pleasantly realised from beginning to end. It should win.

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