Left (Tie).
天の原春とも見えぬながめかなこぞのなごりの雪の明ぼの
| ama no hara haru tomo mienu nagame kana kozo no nagori no yuki no akebono |
Upon the plain of Heaven Of Spring there is no sign In sight: A memento of the year that’s gone, Snowfall with the dawning. |
21
Right (Tie).
なごりには春の袂も冴えにけり霞より散る雪のけしきに
| nagori ni wa haru no tamoto mo saenikeri kasumi yori chiru yuki no keshiki ni |
The memento Also upon my springtime sleeves Stands clear: Drifting from the haze, A scene of snow. |
22
In this round the Right team have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem, but the Left query beginning a poem with ‘memento’, as the audience then immediately wonder, ‘A memento of what?’
Shunzei comments that the Left’s poem starts extremely well, but that, even though ‘in sight’ (nagame kana) has been frequently used in poetry recently, its spirit has yet to be fully determined, and so including it here must be considered a mistake. Furthermore, the concluding line, ‘snowfall with the dawning’ (yuki no akebono), has also been much used in recent poetry. As for the Right’s poem, he feels it ends extremely well, but echoes the criticism of the Left about the beginning. Thus, the best result for this round is a tie.