Left (Tie).
をのづからなさけぞみゆる荒手組む賤がそともの夕顔の花
onozukara nasake zo miyuru arate kumu shizu ga soto mo no yūgao no hana |
How natural To be moved: Twined roughly round the fence Outside a peasant’s hut, Moonflower blooms… |
273
Right (Tie).
山賤の契のほどや忍ぶらん夜をのみ待つ夕顔の花
yamagatsu no chigiri no hodo ya shinoburan yoru o nomi matsu yūgao no hana |
Is it with the mountain man Her time is pledged So secretly? For the night alone, awaiting, The moonflower bloom. |
274
The Right state, ‘it is normal diction to say ‘roughly’ (arate) ‘hang’ (kaku). Is it possible to also use ‘twine’ (kumu)?’ In response from the Left, ‘Yes, one can.’ The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei states, ‘Both poems are equally lacking in faults or merits. Whether one uses “roughly” twining or hanging, neither is particularly superlative, I think. “Her time is pledged” (chigiri no hodo ya) seems somehow lacking , too. This round must tie.’