Tag Archives: Abe no Kiyoyuki

Love V: 29

Left (Tie).
象潟や妹戀ひしらにさ寢る夜の磯の寢覺に月傾きぬ

kisakata ya
koishirani
sanuru yo no
iso no nezame ni
tsuki katabukinu
In Kisakata and
In love;
I sleep the night away, and
Awaking on the rocky shore
Behold the moon descending.

Kenshō
897

Right.
清見潟岩敷く袖の浪の上に思ふもわびし君が面影

kiyomigata
iwa shiku sode no
nami no ue ni
omou mo wabishi
kimi ga omokage
At Kiyomigata
Sleeves spread atop the rocks,
Waves breaking atop them;
Heart filled with pain
At the memory of your face…

Jakuren
898

Left and Right both state that the opposing poem is pretentious.

In judgement: the Left’s poem seems well-constructed in its initial and final sections. However, as in Mototoshi’s poem long ago, ‘breaking a stem of miscanthus on the beach at Ise’, this seems to be a case of poetic allusion. The Right’s ‘Sleeves spread atop the rocks, waves breaking atop them’ (iwa shiku sode no nami no ue) seems to have been newly composed and seems elegant, but the final section is somewhat inferior. The Left has beginning and end matching. The Right has a superior initial section, but an inferior final one. Thus, the round ties.

 

KKS XII: 556

One day at a memorial service for someone at the Lower Izumo Temple, he listened to the Monk Shinsei giving a sermon, composed this and sent it to Ono no Komachi.

つつめども袖にたまらぬ白玉は人を見ぬめの涙なりけり

tutumedomo
sode ni tamaranu
siratama Fa
Fito wo minu me no
namida narikeri
I may wrap them up, but
In my sleeve, they will not stay,
These white jewels,
Shed for a lady I cannot glimpse
Are my tears.

Abe no Kiyoyuki (825-900)