Left
をしとおもふいのちにかへてあかつきのわかれのみちはいかでやめてむ
| oshi to omou inochi ni kaete akatsuki no wakare no michi wa ikade yametemu | Filled with regret, This life I would exchange: On dawn’s Parting path How can I stop my steps? |
30
Right
あけぬとてあかずしきみをわかるればこころはゆかぬものにざりける
| akenu tote akazu shi kimi o wakarureba kokoro wa yukanu mono ni zarikeru | When at dawn, Unsatisfied, from you, my love, I part, My heart goes nowhere At all! |
31
Left
はるのよのあかぬわかれのあかつきはちへのにしきをたつにざりける
| haru no yo no akanu wakare no akatsuki wa chie no nishiki o tatsu ni zarikeru | After a spring night, Unsatisfied, parting at The dawn, Sewn a thousandfold, the brocade Through which I go! |
26
Right
あけぬてふこゑもなみだももろともにうちいづるからにそでぞぬれける
| akenu chō koe mo namida mo morotomo ni uchi’izuru kara ni sode zo nurekeru | ‘Tis dawn, say Birdsongs and tears Both, Bursting out, so My sleeves are soaked! |
27
Round Six
Left
雲かかる高志のやまの明暮に妻まどはせるを鹿鳴くなり
| kumo kakaru takashi no yama no akegure ni tsuma madowaseru oshika naku nari | All hung about with cloud On Takashi Mountain In the gloaming Having lost his mate A stag bells out. |
Nakamasa
11
Right
山がつの先あかつきをしりがほに裾野に出でて鹿ぞ鳴くなる
| yamagatsu no mazu akatsuki o shirigao ni susono ni idete shika zo naku naru | A mountain man First of all, that ‘tis dawn Knows plain upon his face, As he sets out upon the slopes As a stag bells out! |
Head
12
The Left poem’s conclusion, ‘Having lost his mate / A stag bells out’ seems no different from that of a poem by Gō no Jijū in poetry match held by the First Princess.[1] As for the poem of the Right’s ‘A mountain man / Awaits the dawn / Knowing plain upon his face’—what on earth might a mountain man look like while waiting for dawn? There is the tale of Hangu Pass in Cathay, where the barrier guard was waiting for dawn and opened the gate after hearing a cock’s crow, but the expression ‘a mountain man awaits the dawn’ has never appeared before in a poem—either one of Cathay or in the words of Yamato, so I feel that both Left and Right lack any superlative qualities.
[1] Stags. をぐら山たちどもみえぬゆふぎりにつままどはせるしかぞなくなる ogurayama / tachidomo mienu / yūgiri ni / tsuma madowaseru / shika zo nakunaru ‘On gloomy Ogura Mountain / Stands unseen / Among the evening mists / Having lost his mate / A belling stag.’ (Yūshi naishinnō-ke uta’awase eishō go-nen 27). This event was held at the residence of Imperial Princess Sukeko (Yūshi) on the 5th day of the Sixth Month, Eishō 5 [26.10.1050]. The poem won its round, and was later included in Goshūishū (IV: 292).
Stags and the Dawn
Round Five
Left
暁になりやしぬらん小倉山なく鹿のねに月かたぶきぬ
| akatsuki ni nari ya shinuran ogurayama naku shika no ne ni tsuki katabukinu | Is the dawning On its way, I wonder? On gloomy Mount Ogura Crying, a stag bell out As the moon sets. |
Mototoshi, Former Assistant Captain in the Palace Guards, Left Division
9
Right
暁や声高砂になく鹿をほのかにやきく沖の舟人
| akatsuki ya koe takasago ni naku shika o honoka ni ya kiku oki no funabito | At the dawning From the heights, the bell, at Takasago Of a stag Is faintly heard, perhaps, By the boatmen on the offing… |
Head
10
The Left’s poem lacks any superlative diction, yet does not appear to have any glaring faults either. As for the Right’s poem, I do question the placement of ‘at’ in ‘at the dawning’ and, in addition, the order seems reversed in ‘From the heights, the bell, at Takasago / Of a stag’—so much so that I find it difficult to grasp the sense. If the poem had been composed to put ‘stag’ before ‘heights of Takasago’, the poem would feel more trustworthy, wouldn’t it.
Partings at Dawn
Left
ひとしれぬわがみとおもへばあかつきのとりとともにやなきてかへらん
| hito shirenu wa ga mi to omoeba akatsuki no tori to tomo ni ya nakite kaeran | No one knew Of my sorry state, I thought, so With the dawn Birds’ chorus should I, Sobbing, make my way home? |
20
Right
ひとしれずあかでわかるるあかつきにうちなきそふるをしのこゑかな
| hito shirezu akade wakaruru akatsuki ni uchinaki souru oshi no koe kana | No one knows How unsatisfied I am to part With the dawn Sobs overlaying The cries of the mandarin ducks! |
21
Love at the dawn.
あかつきの鴫のはねがきしげけれどなど逢ふ事のま遠なるらん
| akatsuki no shigi no hane ga shigekeredo nado au koto no madōnaruran | At the dawn The snipes’ wingbeats Incessant are, so Why must our meetings Be intermittent?[1] |
504
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 曉のしぎのはねがきももはがき君がこぬ夜は我ぞかずかく akatsuki no / shigi no hanegaki / momohagaki / kimi ga konu yo wa / ware zo kazu kaku ‘With the dawn / The snipe beat their wings / A hundred times or more / On nights without a visit from you / I count them all.’ Anonymous (KKS XV: 761)
Round Eight
Left (T – Win; M – Tie)
冬枯にうつろひ残る白菊はうは葉に置ける霜かとぞみる
| fuyugare ni utsuroi nokoru shiragiku wa uwaba ni okeru shimo ka to zo miru | Sere in winter, Faded and lingering A white chrysanthemum as, Fallen upon its upper leaves, Frost does appear, perhaps? |
Lord Morikata
39
Right
露じもの暁置きのあさごとに移ひまさるしらぎくの花
| tsuyujimo no akatsuki oki no asa goto ni utsuroi masaru shiragiku no hana | Frosty dewdrops With the dawn fall—arising Every morning Fading fairer become The white chrysanthemum blooms. |
Lord Michitsune
40
Toshiyori states: I have the feeling that I have never heard the expression ‘sere in winter’, and I certainly have no recollection of it being in the Collection of a Myriad Leaves. The poem of the Right is smooth and extremely charming; I’m very familiar with the expression ‘dew fallen in the morning when I arise’, and here there seems to be some reason for it, doesn’t there! Still, the first poem is better.
Mototoshi states: the expression ‘faded and lingering’ is difficult to distinguish. In addition, saying ‘Fallen upon [the flower’s] upper leaves, / Frost’ is a severe misjudgment. The poem of the Right has the tautology ‘with the dawn fall’ and then ‘every morning’. Clearly neither of these appears to win or lose, so I make this a tie.
