Tag Archives: akatsuki

Rokujō sai’in baishi naishinnō ke uta’awase 9

Left
たれか又暁ごとに夢さめて羽掻く鴫の声を聞くらむ

tareka mata
akatuki goto ni
yume samete
Fane kaku sigi no
kowe wo kikuramu
Who is it that yet
With every single dawn
Awakens from her dreams, and
The wing-beating snipes’
Cries does hear?

Koma
小馬
17

Right
我ならで誰か聞くらむ暁の羽掻く鴫の数を尽くして

ware narade
tare ka kikuramu
akatuki no
Fane kaku sigi no
kazu wo tukusite
If not I, then
Who is it that will hear?
With the dawn
The snipes’ wing-beats
Coming to an end…

Saemon
左衛門
18

Love VI: 22

Left.
独のみ寢屋の板間もあはずして雨も涙も所せきまで

hitori nomi
neya no itama mo
awazushite
ame mo namida mo
tokoroseki made
All alone, and
The boards above my bedchamber
Fail to come together;
Until with raindrops and tears both
I am excessively…

Lord Ari’ie.
943

Right (Win).
深き夜の寢覺に何を思けむ窓打ちてすさむ暁の雨

fukaki yo no
nezame ni nani o
omoikemu
mado uchisusamu
akatsuki no ame
Late within the night,
I start awake; what
Was in my thoughts?
Beating against my window is
The dawntime rain.

Jakuren.
944

The Right state: we cannot grasp the sense of the Left’s use of ‘until’ (made). The Left state: the Right’s poem is certainly not easy to understand on hearing.

In judgement: is not the use of ‘until’ (made) simply because it is appropriate to conclude a poem with that syllable? I can see nothing problematic with the use of ‘beating against my window’ (mado uchisusamu) in the Right’s poem. Thus, I make the Right the winner.

 

Love VI: 21

Left (Tie).
かきくらし降りくる雨も君ならば濡るとてさらに厭はざらまし

kakikurashi
furikuru ame mo
kimi naraba
nuru tote sara ni
itowazaramashi
All is darkened by
The falling rain, but
Were that to be you, my love,
I would be drenched, but
It would not be unwelcome!

Lord Kanemune.
941

Right.
ひとり寢の床にしもなど音す覧しづかたにそゝく暁の雨

hitorine no
toko ni shimo nado
otosuran
shizukata ni sosoku
akatsuki no ame
Sleeping solo
In my bed, so why
Is there the sound
Of quiet dripping
Dawntime rain?

Lord Takanobu.
942

The Right state: while the Left’s poem does have a desirable sentiment, its expression is outrageous. The Left state: why, indeed, should there be a sound in the poet’s bed?

In judgement: the Left’s desirable sentiment is perfectly commonplace in poetry. The Right, with ‘dawntime rain’ (akatsuki no ame), is elegant. The poems are comparable and tie.

Love V: 6

Left (Win).
あか月にあらぬ別も今はとて我が世ふくれば添ふ思ひかな

akatsuki ni
aranu wakare mo
ima wa tote
wa ga yo fukureba
sou omoi kana
At dawn
This parting is not;
Now it is
When my life reaches twilight –
I think…

Lord Sada’ie.
851

Right.
翁さび身は惜しからぬ戀衣今はと濡れん人なとがめそ

okina sabi
mi wa oshikaranu
koigoromo
ima wa to nuren
hito na togame so
Feeling like an ancient,
But I regret it not!
My loving clothes:
Now’s the time to dampen them
But blame me not!

Jakuren.
852

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘now’s the time to dampen them’ (ima wa to nuren).

In judgement: ‘Feeling like an ancient’ (okina sabi) ‘now’s the time to dampen them’ (ima wa to nuren) does not sound like it fits formally with ‘but I regret it not!’ (mi wa oshikaranu). The Left, in addition to sounding like it has no faults, has ‘this parting is not; now it is’ (aranu wakare mo ima wa tote), which certainly sounds right. It is superior.

Love IV: 5

Left.
面影も別れに變る鐘の音にならひ悲しき東雲の空

omokage mo
wakare ni kawaru
kane no oto ni
narai kanashiki
shinonome no sora
That your face
Is transformed to parting
By the bell’s toll:
How sad this custom
From the eastern skies!

Lord Sada’ie.
789

Right (Win).
暁の涙やせめてたぐふらん袖に落ち來る鐘の音かな

akatsuki no
namida ya semete
tagūran
sode ni ochikuru
kane no oto kana
At dawn, are
My tears, forced to be
Like them?
Falling on my sleeves:
The tolls of the bell!

Nobusada.
790

The Right state: the sense of the Left’s poem is difficult to grasp on hearing. The Left state: the expression ‘forced to be’ (semete) seems out of place in the context of the Right’s poem.

In judgement: The Left’s poem, just as was said of Kisen’s poetry – that it was ‘obscure of diction and indefinite from beginning to end’  – seems to be in just such a style. The Right’s poem, while it does not, in fact, sound like a suitable context for ‘forced to be’ (semete), provides a profound conception in ‘falling on my sleeves’ (sode ni ochikuru). The Right should win.

Love IV: 4

Left.
つれなさの類までやはつらからぬ月をも愛でじ在明の空

tsurenasa no
tagui made ya wa
tsurakaranu
tsuki o mo medeji
ariake no sora
Heartless on parting are you,
And just so is the
Indifferent
Moon – no more will I care for it! –
In the sky at dawn.

Lord Ari’ie.
787

Right (Win).
逢ふと見る情もつらし暁の露のみ深き夢の通い路

au to miru
nasake mo tsurashi
akatsuki no
tsuyu nomi fukaki
yume no kayoiji
We met, I saw, and
How fond were you, but how cruel
The dawn, when
I was drenched with dew alone from
The path of dreams…

Lord Takanobu.
788

The Gentlemen of the Right state: if the Left allude to the poem ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed / To part’, then this poem refers to the cruelty of a lover, but their poem suggests that the moon is the cruel one. Is this appropriate? In response: ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed’ can also be interpreted as referring to the moon. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right use the diction ‘fond’ (nasake), but the sense of this does not follow in the poem.

In judgement: the Left builds on the poem which starts ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed / To part, but’ and then says more than the lover’s heartlessness, ‘The fading moon / Cared not at all.’ So, given that this is the case, it’s not really saying anything different from ‘No more will I care for the moon!’ As for the Right, it sounds as if the lover’s fondness appears in the ‘dream’ (yume), but the final section seems good. The Right’s poem is somewhat superior.

Love IV: 2

Left.
もの思ふ我心にもたぐへばやあはれを添ふる明暮の空

mono’omou
wa ga kokoro ni mo
tagueba ya
aware o souru
akegure no sora
Sunk in lonely thought
Does my heart
Match it?
Traced with sorrow, is
The sky at dawn.

Lord Kanemune.
782

Right.
恨み詫びかへす衣のしるしだになき暁はいかが悲しき

urami wabi
kaesu koromo no
shirushi dani
naki akatsuki wa
ikaga kanashiki
In despite and sorrow,
I reversed my garb, but
To no effect;
Thus, this dawn
Is so much more sad…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
783

The Right state: the use of the question in the Left’s poem, means that the comparison is not made sufficiently forcefully. The Left state: we find no faults worth mentioning in particular in the Right’s poem.

In judgement: neither poem seems to have any qualities which make them worthy of a win, or a loss.

Autumn II: 20

Left (Win).

唐衣裾野の庵の旅枕袖より鴫の立つ心地する

karakoromo
susono no io no
tabimakura
sode yori shigi no
tatsu kokochisuru
Clothed in Cathay robes
In a hut at Susono
My traveller’s pillow –
My sleeve – from which the snipe
I feel are starting.

Lord Sada’ie.

399

Right.

旅衣夜半のあはれも百羽がき鴫立つ野邊の暁の空

tabi makura
yowa no aware mo
momohagaki
shigi tatsu nobe no
akatsuki no sora
Clad in traveller’s garb
All night long in lonely reverie
As beating wings time and again
Snipe start from the fields
Into the dawning sky.

Nobusada.

400

The Right query whether it is possible to draw an association between ‘Cathay robes’ and snipe? The Left wonder about the usage of’lonely reverie as beating wings’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The criticisms from both teams are ones I have encountered before. As the poet has used ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ (sode yori shigi), and ‘a hut at Susono’ (susono no io), it requires the use of ‘Cathay robes’ (kara koromo) – there is no more to it than that. As for the Right, saying ‘Snipe start from the fields’ (shigi tatsu nobe) and ‘All night long in lonely reverie as beating wings time and again’ (yowa no aware mo momohagaki) – there is no fault to be found here, either. However, saying ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ is better. It must win.

Love 67

Left (Win).

思ひいでよ誰がきぬぎぬの暁も我またしのぶ月ぞ見ゆ覧

omoi’ide yo
ta ga kinuginu no
akatsuki mo
ware mata shinobu
tsuki zo miyuran
Remember,
While with a rustle of robes, you part from her
At dawn!
I still remember you,
Gazing at the selfsame moon…

133

Right.

久方の月ぞかはらで待たれける人には言ひし山の端の空

hisakata no
tsuki zo kawarade
matarekeru
hito ni wa iishi
yama no ha no sora
‘The eternal
Moon, unchanging
Is awaited,’
I said once to him,
Sky clear above the mountains’ edge.

134