Tag Archives: akebono

Love IV: 24

Left (Win).
戀詫びて我と眺めし夕暮も馴るれば人の形見がほなる

koiwabite
ware to nagameshi
yūgure mo
narureba hito no
katamigao naru
Suffering with love
I have gazed
Upon the evening dark,
So used to it that it
Has become your keepsake!

Lord Sada’ie.
827

Right.
明ぼののあはればかりは忍ぶれど今日をば出でず春の夕暮

akebono no
aware bakari wa
shinoburedo
kyō oba idezu
haru no yūgure
The dawn’s
Sadness, I do just
Bear, but, oh,
Today, it will never come –
The evening in springtime!

Nobusada.
828

The Right state: when one understands the purport of the Left’s poem, it comes as a revelation. The Left state: in the Right’s poem we are unable to grasp the sense of ‘it will never come’ (idezu). In addition, the conception of Love seems lacking.

In judgement: both poems ‘evenings’ are support by little diction, yet the conception of Love is profound, indeed, such that my own shallow knowledge finds it difficult to grasp. However, the Right’s ‘Today, it will never come’ (kyō oba idezu) certainly does seem difficult to comprehend. I would have to say that the Left’s ‘So used to it that it’ (narureba hito no) is marginally superior.

Love IV: 11

Left.
雲かゝり重なる山を越えもせず隔てまさるは明くる日の影

kumo kakari
kasanaru yama o
koe mo sezu
hedate masaru wa
akuru hi no kage
Trailed with cloud,
The layered mountains
I have not gone beyond, but
What stands between us most is
The light of the brightening sun.

Lord Sada’ie.
801

Right (Win).
いさ命思ひは夜半に盡き果てぬ夕も待たじ秋の曙

isa inochi
omoi wa yowa ni
tsukihatenu
yūbe mo mataji
aki no akebono
I know not what’s to become of my life!
All my thoughts of love in the hours of night
Are quite exhausted, and
I cannot wait for evening
On this autumn dawn…

Nobusada.
802

The Right state: from ‘Trailed with cloud’ (kumo kakari) to ‘The light of the brightening sun’ (akuru hi no kage), all is entirely unacceptable, is it not? The Left state: we wonder about the acceptability of ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’ (isa inochi).

In judgement: the Right have said that the Left’s poem is unacceptable from beginning to end, but can one really go so far as to say that? Furthermore, the Left query whether ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’, but I wonder whether I can recall this phrase being that bad. However, one is accustomed to saying that ‘this spring dawn’ (haru no akebono) is elegant, and although ‘this autumn dawn’ (aki no akebono) is a modern expression, the faults of the Left’s poem are particularly problematic, so the Right should win.

Autumn III: 23

Left.

初霜や秋をこめても置きつらん今朝色變る野路の篠原

hatsujimo ya
aki o kometemo
okitsuran
kesa iro kawaru
noji no shinohara
Have the first frosts
In the midst of autumn
Fallen?
This morning has brought a change of hue
To the arrow-bamboo groves in Noji!

Lord Kanemune.

465

Right (Win).

いかに又秋は夕と眺め來て花に霜置く野邊の明ぼの

ika ni mata
aki wa yūbe to
nagamekite
hana ni shimo oku
nobe no akebono
How much more striking
Than an autumn evening
Spent gazing, is
The frost fallen on the flowers
In the fields at dawn!

Ietaka.

466

Neither team finds any fault with the other’s poem this round and say as much.

Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘frost’ (shimo) on the ‘arrow-bamboo groves in Noji’ (noji no shinohara) is certainly elegant [yū ni wa haberubeshi]. The Right’s ‘frost fallen on the flowers’ (hana ni oku shimo) is, too; although there is no difference in formal quality [uta no sama wa ikuhodo sabetsu naku] between them, ‘frost fallen on the flowers’ at ‘dawn’ (akebono) is more arresting [midokoro ya haberu] than ‘arrow-bamboo groves’.

Spring II: 30

Left (Tie).

さやかなる秋にもまされあはれかな月影かすむ有明の空

sayakanaru
aki no mo masare
aware kana
tsuki kage kasumu
ariake no sora
The clarity of
Autumn, too, is splendid and
Moving, indeed, I feel in
The hazy moonlight from
The daybreak sky.

Lord Ari’ie.

119

Right (Tie).

今はとてたのむの雁もうちわびぬ朧月夜の明ぼのゝ空

ima wa tote
tanomu no kari mo
uchiwabinu
oborozukiyo no
akebono no sora
‘Now we must return,’
The field resting geese
Lament, under the
Misty moonlit
Dawning sky.

Jakuren.

120

The Right team once again rate the Left’s poem as ‘satisfying’, while the Left say the Right’s is ‘especially satisfying. ’

Shunzei’s judgement is that ‘the Left’s “hazy moonlight from the daybreak sky” (tsuki kage kasumu ariake no sora) and the Right’s “Misty moonlit dawning sky” (oborozukiyo no akebono no sora) are both splendid. It is difficult, indeed, to decide between them. Another excellent tie.’