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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love X: 23

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Left (Tie)
我恋はしげきみ山の山人のさすがにえしもこりはてぬ哉

wa ga koi wa
shigeki miyama no
yamabito no
sasuga ni e shimo
korihatenu kana		My love is
Lush as a tree in the mountains’ heart;
The mountain men with
Their hatchets cannot even
Begin to fell it!

Ari’ie
1185

Right
秋かけてつま木こり積む山人ももゆる思の程は知らじな

aki kakete
tsumagi koritsumu
yamabito mo
moyuru omoi no
hodo wa shiraji na		Into autumn
Gathering piles of kindling
Even a mountain man,
The burning fires of my passion
Can hardly know…

Jakuren
1186

The Right state: in the Left’s poem, ‘hatchets’ (sasuga) fails to match properly. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks faults to indicate.

In judgement: indeed, in the Left’s poem ‘hatchets’ does not sound like it matches properly. The Right’s poem has the initial ‘into autumn’ (aki kakete), but the conception of autumn does not sound necessary here. They are of the same quality.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 30

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Left (Tie)
忘れじの契うらむる故郷の心も知らぬ松蟲の聲

wasureji no
chigiri uramuru
furusato no
kokoro mo shiranu
matsumushi no koe		 Never will I forget you –
Despairing of that vow
At home
All unknowing of my feelings
Comes a bell cricket’s cry…

Lord Sada’ie
1079

Right
來ぬ人の秋のけしきやふけぬらん恨みによはる松蟲の聲

konu hito no
aki no keshiki ya
fukenuran
urami ni yowaru
matsumushi no koe		 He comes not, so
Is all seeming done, as autumn
Does wear on?
How I envy the weakening
Bell cricket’s song…

Jakuren
1080

Left and Right: both poems are equally admirable.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, with ‘all unknowing of my feelings comes a bell cricket’s cry’ (kokoro mo shiranu matsumushi no koe) is fine. The Right, with ‘is all seeming done, as autumn does wear on’ (aki no keshiki ya fukenuran), is too, so both Left and Right do truly move the heart, do they not? I have no way of distinguishing superior from inferior here, so thus must make the round a tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 28

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Left (Win)
あはれにぞ鳴あかすなる蛬われのみしぼる袖かと思ふに

aware ni zo
nakiakasunaru
kirigirisu
ware nomi shiboru
sode ka to omou ni		 How sad it is –
Crying with the dawn is
The cricket, though
I alone am wringing
Out my sleeves, I feel.

Lord Suetsune
1075

Right
露深きあはれを思へきりぎりす枕の下の秋の夕暮

tsuyu fukaki
aware o omoe
kirigirisu
makura no shita no
aki no yūgure		 Deep in dew and
Sad, I wish you were,
O, cricket,
Beneath my pillow
On this autumn evening…

Nobusada
1076

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults we can mention. The Gentlemen of the Left state: our feelings are the same as those of the Right

In judgement: both Left and Right are on ‘crickets’ (kirigirisu) and their configuration and diction sound equally elegantly beautiful. I feel that the Right, with ‘deep in dew and sad, I wish you were’ (tsuyu fukaki aware o omoe), is somewhat lacking in the conception of the poet’s own love, but the Left, with ‘I alone am wringing out my sleeves, I feel’ (ware nomi shiboru sode ka to omou ni), has an excellent conception of love, so I must state that the Left is the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 27

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Left (Win)
蟲の音も秋を限りと恨むなりたえぬ思やたぐひなるらん

mushi no ne mo
aki o kagiri to
uramu nari
taenu omoi ya
tagui naruran		 The insects’ cries do
Mark the bounds of autumn
With despair;
Are endless thoughts of love
To be my only fellow?

Lord Kanemune
1073

Right
夏蟲もうら山しきは秋の夜の露にはもえぬ思ひなりけり

natsumushi mo
urayamashiki wa
aki no yo no
tsuyu ni wa moenu
omoi narikeri		 The fireflies are
A source of envy,
On an autumn night
When dewfall damps down
The fires of my passion…

Ietaka
1074

The Gentlemen of the Right: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘dewfall damps down’ (tsuyu ni wa moenu).

In judgement: the Left’s poem has been stated to be without fault by the gentlemen present. In the Right’s poem, I wonder if saying, ‘dewfall damps down’ is meaning nothing burns in autumn? On the matter of using the term ‘summer insects’ (natsumushi) to refer to fireflies, I do wonder whether it is appropriate to imply with one’s composition that there are no such insects in autumn. Although in the Collection of Poems to Sing Aloud, fireflies occur in the Summer section, among the same collection’s Chinese poems there is ‘in the dark before dawn innumerable fireflies start from the autumn grasses’. Furthermore, in Pan Anren’s ‘Rhapsody on Autumn Inspirations’ he says, ‘Glittering fireflies shine by the palace gate, and crickets sing from the eaves of the fence’. Even though there are countless cases of Autumn fireflies, how can one have composed suggesting that there are not? Thus, the Left wins.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 24

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Left (Tie)
この比の心の底をよそに見ば鹿鳴く野邊の秋の夕暮

kono koro no
kokoro no soko o
yoso ni miba
shika naku nobe no
aki no yūgure		 Of late
Of the depths of my heart
Were you to catch a distant glimpse:
A stag belling in the meadow
On an autumn evening…

A Servant Girl
1067

Right
暮れかゝる裾野の露に鹿鳴きて人待つ袖も涙そふ也

kurekakaru
susono no tsuyu ni
shika nakite
hito matsu sode mo
namida sou nari		 Twilight
Drapes dewfall on the mountains’ skirts,
With a stag’s sad cry;
Awaiting him, my sleeves, too,
Are wet with tears.

Nobusada
1068

Left and Right together: we find no faults to mention.

In judgement: it would be impossible to ever exhaust the overtones of feeling in ‘a stag belling in the meadow on an autumn evening’ (shika naku nobe no aki no yūgure) in the Left’s poem; in the Right’s poem the configuration and conception of ‘awaiting him, my sleeves, too, are wet with tears’ (hito matsu sode mo namida sou nari) is richly evocative. I find it extremely hard to put both poems down, so this round, again, is a tie of quality.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VII: 26

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Left.
人心緒絶えの橋に立かへり木の葉降りしく秋の通ひ路

hito kokoro
odae no hashi ni
tachikaeri
ko no ha furishiku
aki no kayoiji		 Our hearts
On the broken bridge at Odae
Do stand;
Fallen leaves swept along
The autumn paths back and forth…

Lord Sada’ie.
1011

Right.
思はずに緒絶えの橋と成ぬれどなを人知れず戀わたるかな

omowazu ni
odae no hashi to
narinuredo
nao hito shirezu
koi watarukana		 Unthinkingly
To the broken bridge of Odae
Have we come, yet
Still, unknown to all,
Might our love make a crossing?

Lord Tsune’ie.
1012

The Gentlemen of the Right state: we wonder about the purpose of ‘fallen leaves swept along’ (ko no ha furishiku) in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian.

In judgement: Both the poems of the Left and of the Right use ‘bridge of Odae’ (odae no hashi) which is tasteful. The Left’s ‘fallen leaves swept along’ must be following Ise Monogatari. The gentlemen of the Right must surely be pretending ignorance! The poem of the Right, too, has an elegant total configuration, but ‘unknown to all’ (hito shirezu) is at odds with the emotional overtones. Thus the Left’s ‘fallen leaves swept along the autumn paths back and forth’ is better. I make it the winner.