fuku kaze mo mi ni shimu aki no yūgure ni aware o souru shika no koe kana
The gusting wind Pierces my flesh on an autumn Evening, as Sadness laces The stag’s cry!
Lord Michyoshi 27
Right
妻こふるさ夜ふけがたの鹿のねに声うちそへて秋風ぞ吹く
tsuma kouru sayo fukegata no shika no ne ni koe uchisoete akikaze zo fuku
Yearning for his mate as Brief night wears on, A stag’s cry Is voiced, lacing The gusting autumn wind.
Tamechika 28
Both Left and Right have the same overall content, but the Left’s ‘yearning for his mate as / Brief night wears on’ reverses the appropriate order of the diction: it would be preferable to say ‘Brief night wears on as / Yearning for his mate’. The Left has no such issues and so it should win.
Composed on the conception of the Song of the Everlasting Woe.
おもひかねわかれし野べをきてみればあさぢが原に秋かぜぞふく
omoFikane wakaresi nobe wo kitemireba asadi ga hara ni akikaze zo Fuku
Unable to bear my longing To the meadows where we parted Have I come and fixed my gaze, but Across the cogon grass upon the plain Indeed, the autumn wind is blowing.
