shirakumo no asa tatsu yama no karanishiki eda ni hito mura harukaze zo fuku
Clouds of white Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade In a single bunch upon the branch Blown by the breeze of spring! [1]
Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie 21
Right (Win)
かづらきや嶺の桜のさきしより心の空にかかるしら雲
kazuragi ya mine no sakura no sakishi yori kokoro no sora ni kakaru shirakumo
Upon Kazuragi Peak, the cherries Have bloomed and ever since The heavens of my heart are Draped with clouds of white.
Lord Nobunari 22
The Left’s poem has ‘Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade in a single bunch upon the branch’ and, while it mentions spring breezes in its final section and does not fail to reflect the surface appearance of its source poem, conveys a feeling of scarlet leaves without mentioning blossom or cherry, which I have to say is something of a fault. The Right’s poem does not seem poor and lacks any faults worth mentioning, so it should win.
asa madaki tatsu ya kasumi no namima yori kinō mieshi awajishima yama
Early in the morning, Breaking, haze From between the waves, rather than Yesterday’s sight of The mountains of Awaji Isle…
Fujiwara no Tomoshige 15
Right
さえ残る雪げの春の朝霞かすむ名のみや空に立つらん
saenokoru yukige no haru no asagasumi kasumu na nomi sora ni tatsuran
Do chilly remnants of Snowmelt in spring Make morning haze’s Blur in name alone Drift into the skies?
Dharma Master Zenshin 16
The Left’s ‘Yesterday’s sight of the mountains of Awaji Isle’ sounds pleasant. The Right’s ‘Blur in name alone drift into the skies’ does not sound bad, but thinking of the conception of the topic, haze in name only is a bit inferior, isn’t it? Thus, the Left wins.
yama no ha ni ariake no tsuki no nokorazu wa kasumi ni akuru sora o mimashi ya
Upon the mountains’ edge Had the moon at dawn Not lingered, then On the brightening, hazy Sky would I have turned my gaze?
Shō 11
Right
朝戸あけてながめなれたる明ぼのの霞ばかりに春を知るかな
asa to akete nagamenaretaru akebono no kasumi baraki ni haru o shiru kana
With morn, opening my door, and Accustomed to gazing At the dawn The haze is all that Tells me ‘tis spring![1]
Nagatsuna, Ranked without Office 12
The Left’s poem has ‘would I wish to see the skies brightening with haze’, which does not seem bad, but the initial line drop ‘dawn’ and the latter part ‘brightening with haze’ which is a bit dubious; the Right’s poem really has nothing special about it. The poems are comparable and tie.
