Left (Win).
君もまた夕や分きて眺むらん忘れず拂ふ荻の風哉
kimi mo mata
yūbe ya wakite
nagamuran
wasurezu harau
ogi no kaze kana |
Are you, once more, my darling,
Spending this evening
On thoughts of love?
Faithfully sweeps
The wind across the silver-grass… |
A Servant Girl.
825
Right.
時しもあれ悲しかりける思ひかな秋の夕に人は忘れじ
toki shi mo are
kanashikarikeru
omoi kana
aki no yūbe ni
hito wa wasureji |
Of all the times there are, now
Does sadness
Most fill my thoughts;
On an autumn evening
Unable to forget her… |
Ietaka.
826
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘faithfully sweeps’ (wasurezu harau). The Left state: while the Right’s poem is in keeping with the conception of the topic, it seem as if the reference to ‘evening’ serves little purpose.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘Spending this evening on thoughts of love’ (yūbe ya wakite nagamuran) is appropriate, but I find ‘The wind across the silver-grass’ (ogi no kaze) somewhat problematic. The initial section of the Right’s poem, too, is not bad, but saying ‘On an autumn evening unable to forget her’ (aki no yūbe ni hito wa wasureji) suggests that forgetting is the norm, and I wonder about that. The Left wins on account of its initial section.
On autumn evenings: thoughts.
此道や行く人なしに秋の暮
kono michi ya
yuku hito nashi ni
aki no kure |
Upon this road
Without another travelling soul
In the autumn evening. |
(1694)
On New Year’s Day.
元日やおもへばさびし秋の暮
ganjitsu ya
omoeba sabishi
aki no kure |
On New Year’s Day,
Now I think of it, how sad is
An autumn evening. |
(1683)
When Sanekata was going down to Michinoku, he composed this as a parting gift.
わかれぢはいつもなげきのたえせぬにいとゞかなしき秋のゆふぐれ
wakareji wa
itsumo nageki no
taesenu ni
itodo kanashiki
aki no yugure |
The path of parting
Is ever one of grief
Unending, though
How much more sad
On this Autumn evening. |
Middle Councillor Taka’ie
Sent to someone who had lost a little child.
わかれけんなごりの袖もかはかぬにをきやそふらん秋のゆふつゆ
wakareken
nagori no sode mo
kawakanu ni
oki ya souran
aki no yû tsuyu |
Did I hear that you were parted?
Tracks upon your sleeves
Undrying, yet
Will they fall still harder, I wonder,
These dewdrops of an autumn evening… |
Daini no Sanmi
大弐三位
Upon meeting with Imperial Princess Shishi of the First Order (955-1015), they talked of times past and she composed:
袖にさへ秋のゆふべはしられけりきえしあさぢがつゆをかけつゝ
sode ni sae
aki no yûbe wa
shirarekeri
kieshi asaji ga
tsuyu wo kaketsutsu |
Even upon our sleeves
Does the autumn evening
Reveal itself;
The thatch, now gone,
Is ever dew-drenched. |
Imperial Consort, Princess Kishi (929-985)
'Simply moving and elegant'