Left (Win).
霜結ぶ秋の末葉の小篠原風には露のこぼれしものを
shimo musubu aki no sueba no ozasawara kaze ni wa tsuyu no koboreshi mono o |
Bound with frost Are the leaf-tips of The dwarf-bamboo grove, from where The wind flung dewdrops Once… |
467
Right.
月見れば霜に光を添へてけり秋の末葉の有明の空
tsuki mireba shimo ni hikari o soetekeri aki no sueba no ariake no sora |
Looking at the moon, Its light the frostfall Has touched, Autumn’s last leaf From the dawning sky… |
468
The Right state that, ‘If it were ‘dewdrops flung by the wind’ (tsuyu wa kaze ni koboreshi), the conception [kokoro] of the Left’s poem would be easier to understand.’ The Left respond that, ‘The meanings of both are identical. However, in the Right’s poem it is not clear what the ‘last leaf’ (sueba) is.’
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Right’s poem, in addition to the expression ‘autumn’s last leaf’ having no clear referent, shows a weakness of conception [kokoro sukunaku kikoyu] with ‘looking at the moon’ (tsuki mireba). The Left, progressing from, ‘bound with frost’ (shimo musubu) to ‘leaf tips’ (sueba) and then ‘dwarf-bamboo grove’ (ozasawara) sounds most fine [yoroshiku kikokyu]. Thus, the Left must win.