Tag Archives: beaches

Autumn I: 28

Left (Win).

萩の葉にかはりし風の秋の聲やがて野分の露砕く也

hagi no ha ni
kawarishi kaze no
aki no koe
yagate nowaki no
tsuyu kudakunari
Bush clover leaves
Brushed by the breeze
Speak of autumn;
Swift comes the gale,
Scattering dewdrops…

Lord Sada’ie.

355

Right.

靡き行く尾花が末に浪越えて眞野の野分に續く濱風

nabikiyuku
obana ga sue ni
nami koete
mano no nowaki ni
tsuzuku hamakaze
Streaming
Miscanthus fronds
Wave
At Mano in the gales
Born from breezes off the beaches.

Nobusada.

356

The Left’s ‘speak of autumn’ (aki no koe) and the Right’s ‘born from’ (tsuzuku) are each found unsatisfactory by the opposing team.

Shunzei states, ‘Both the poems of the Left and Right have been found unsatisfactory by a number of modern poets, and is this not reasonable? However, the Left’s “Brushed by the breeze speak of autumn” (kawarishi kaze no aki no koe) is particularly fine. The Right’s “born from” is not a turn of phrase which could be considered pleasant; starting with “streaming” (nabikiyuku) and then continuing to “breezes off the beaches” (hamakaze) which lead to “Mano in the gales” (mano no nowaki ni) suggests an implicit meaning, but the Left’s upper and lower sections are finer. It should win.’