Left
ひくるればひとめのもりにぬるとりのあかつきがたになきつつぞたつ
| hi kurureba hitome no mori ni nuru tori no akatsukigata ni nakitsutsu zo tatsu | Since the setting of the sun Avoiding others’ eyes within the forest Slept a bird that At the edge of dawn Sobbing, does depart! |
22
Right
ねをあさみそこをはなるるうきくさのけさのおきにぞながれわびぬる
| ne o asami soko o hanaruru ukikusa no kesa no oki ni zo nagare wabinuru | Shallow the roots Separating from the river’s bed, Of the drifting waterweed, This morning rising, Swept away in desolation! |
23
The Moon
Round One
Left (Win)
いたまよりねざめのとこにもる月をこひしきひととおもはましかば
| itama yori nezame no toko ni moru tsuki o koishiki hito to omowamashikaba | Between the boards, Waking me in my bed Drips moonlight— The man I love If only it did more than bring to mind… |
Lord Dainagon
29
Right
くれはどりふたむらやまをきて見ればめもあやにこそ月も見えけれ
| kurehadori futamurayama o kite mireba me mo aya ni koso tsuki mo miekere | When the weave of twilight Upon Futamura Mountain One comes to see, Another pattern fills the eye— Bright moonlight. |
Lord Chūnagon
30
The poem of the Left has an extremely refined configuration, but is lacking much of a conception of the moon, and has a much greater one of love. The poem of the Right has a moving conception, but it is about scarlet leaves that one says ‘another pattern fills the eye’. There have been no compositions to date utilizing this about the moon. As both poems have dubious elements, I feel they are of the same quality.
I must say that the initial section of the poem of the Left, ‘between the boards’, is something that not even the poets of bygone days placed at the beginning of their poems. I would say that such expressions as ‘between the boards of a ruined house’ sound blended, implying that the appearance within is fine. Perhaps the poet mistook this? In addition, I do not feel that this is a moon poem, and would have to say that it’s a love one. It really is very odd, isn’t it—suddenly including a love poem here. The poem of the Right has nothing about it worth mentioning, yet it appears to be a moon poem superficially. There’s nothing for it but, faced with the poem of the Left, which beats the hastiest of hasty retreats and ignores the essential meaning of the topic, but to make it the winner!
Round Thirteen
Left
しぐれもるたびねのとこははなぞめのたもとぞさきにまづかへりける
| shigure moru tabine no toko wa hanazome no tamoto zo saki ni mazu kaerikeru | A shower drips upon me As I doze upon my journey-bed; Blossom-dyed, My sleeves, before me, Have first returned to what they were! |
Masahira
75
Right (Win)
はなれゆくみやこをおもふひとりねのなみだをさそふはつしぐれかな
| hanareyuku miyako o omou hitorine no namida o sasou hatsushigure kana | Distant has grown The capital, but it fills my thoughts, Sleeping solo, My tears invited by The first shower! |
Chikashige
76
The configuration of the Left’s poem appears charming, but it would have sounded more so had there been a reason why ‘my sleeves, before’ had returned to the capital on the journey. The diction and conception of the Right’s poem, beginning with ‘distant has grown’ and leading to ‘tears invited’, is extremely pleasant. It seems the Right wins.
Round Eleven
Left (Win)
かりのいほはそそくしぐれもとまらねばつゆわけごろもほしぞかねつる
| kari no io wa sosoku shigure mo tomaraneba tsuyuwakegoromo hoshi zo kanetsuru | Upon my crude hut, Dripping, the showers, too, Never cease, so My dew-soaked garb To dry is impossible! |
Kyō
71
Right
さらぬだにたびねのとこはつゆけきにいかにせよとてうちしぐるらむ
| saranu dani tabine no toko wa tsuyukeki ni ika ni seyo tote uchishigururamu | Even ‘twere not to be, My journey-bed is Drenched with dew, so What am I to do, Beneath these falling showers? |
Suehiro
72
The Left has ‘dripping, the showers, too’, while the Right has ‘what am I to do’ and so forth—while neither of these is poor in terms of conception and diction, the initial section of the Right sounds extremely commonplace, thus the Left’s conception of agonizing over the being unable to dry dew-soaked garb is slightly superior in the current context.
Round Nine
Left (Tie)
秋はぎを草の枕にむすびてや妻恋ひかねて鹿のふすらん
| akihagi o kusa no makura ni musubite ya tsuma koikanete shika no fusuran | The autumn bush clover For a grassy pillow Has he woven—is that why Unable to love his mate The stag seems to lie? |
Koreyuki
41
Right
妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ
| tsuma kouru aki ni shi nareba saoshika no toko no yama tote uchi mo fusareji | He yearns for his mate In autumn, above all, so In the stag’s Bed among the mountains He cannot lay him down, it seems. |
Arifusa
42
The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:
秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな
| akihagi o kusa no makura ni musubu yo wa chikaku mo shika no koe o kiku kana | The autumn bush clover For a grassy pillow I weave tonight— Close by, truly, a stag’s Bell I hear! [1] |
While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.
[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224
Round Four
Left
さをしかのなくねはよそにききつれど涙は袖の物にぞ有りける
| saoshika no naku ne wa yoso ni kikitsuredo namida wa sode no mono ni zo arikeru | The stag’s Sad bell in the distance Did I hear, yet still My tears my sleeves Have covered. |
Sadanaga
31
Right (Win)
山たかみおろすあらしやよわるらんかすかに成りぬさをしかの声
| yama takami orosu arashi ya yowaruran kasuka ni narinu saoshika no koe | From the mountain’s heights Descending, has the storm wind Weakened? Faintly comes The stag’s bell. |
Lord Suetsune
32
I do wonder about the Left, given that there appears to be a poem by the late Lord Toshiyori:
さをしかのなくねは野べにきこゆれどなみだは床の物にぞ有りける
| saoshika no naku ne wa nobe ni kikoyuredo namida wa toko no mono ni zo arikeru[1] | The stag’s Sad bell upon the plain I heard, yet My tears my bed Have covered. |
I am a little leery of the Right’s central line, but overall it is not the case that this poem lacks conception, so it should win.
[1] KYS (3) III: 225 Composed on ‘listening to stags in a hut in the fields’. Also SZS V: 310 ‘Composed when he heard a stag belling while at a mountain retreat in Tanakami’. Also Sanboku kikashū 451 ‘Listening to stags in a hut in the fields’.
Round Four
Left (Win)
春の夜はいこそねられねねやちかき梅のにほひにおどろかれつつ
| haru no yo wa i koso nerarene neya chikaki ume no nioi ni odorokaretsutsu | On a night in springtime I cannot sleep at all, for Close by my bedchamber The scent of plum Ever wakes me from my slumber… |
Norimori
7
Right
さ夜ふかみ旅ねの床にかをらずは梅さく宿といかでしらまし
| sayo fukami tabine no toko ni ka orazu wa ume saku yado to ikade shiramashi | Deep within brief night In a traveller’s bed No scent reaches me, yet That plum blooms at this dwelling— How is it I might know? |
Kenshō
8
The Left is particularly evocative. The Right is from an old poetry match.
Composed as a love poem.
一夜とてよがれしとこのさむしろにやがてもちりのつもりぬるかな
| hitoyo tote yogaresi toko no samusiro ni yagate mo tiri no tumorinuru kana | ‘Just for one night,’ he said, but At night my bed lies abandoned, with A chilly, threadbare blanket Where the dust Is piled high! |
Sanuki
