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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VI: 22

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Left.
独のみ寢屋の板間もあはずして雨も涙も所せきまで

hitori nomi
neya no itama mo
awazushite
ame mo namida mo
tokoroseki made		 All alone, and
The boards above my bedchamber
Fail to come together;
Until with raindrops and tears both
I am excessively…

Lord Ari’ie.
943

Right (Win).
深き夜の寢覺に何を思けむ窓打ちてすさむ暁の雨

fukaki yo no
nezame ni nani o
omoikemu
mado uchisusamu
akatsuki no ame		 Late within the night,
I start awake; what
Was in my thoughts?
Beating against my window is
The dawntime rain.

Jakuren.
944

The Right state: we cannot grasp the sense of the Left’s use of ‘until’ (made). The Left state: the Right’s poem is certainly not easy to understand on hearing.

In judgement: is not the use of ‘until’ (made) simply because it is appropriate to conclude a poem with that syllable? I can see nothing problematic with the use of ‘beating against my window’ (mado uchisusamu) in the Right’s poem. Thus, I make the Right the winner.

 

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VI: 11

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Left (Tie).
我戀や晴れゆくままの空の雲よそにのみして消ぬべき哉

wa ga koi ya
hareyuku mama no
sora no kumo
yoso ni nomi shite
kienubeki kana		 Is my love
As the clearing
Clouds with within the skies?
While you remain distant
Must I fade away…

Lord Ari’ie.
921

Right.
をのづから閨もる月も影消えてひとりかなしき浮雲の空

onozukara
neya moru tsuki mo
kage kiete
hitori kanashiki
ukigumo no sora		 From my
Bedchamber the flooding moon
Light has vanish;
To be alone is sad, as
The heartless drifting, clouds.

Lord Takanobu.
922

The Right state: the central line of the Left’s poem is stiff. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults.

In judgement: the statements in regard to both poems are at variance with my own opinion. I will refrain from expressing that here, although I do regret that, somewhat. If, indeed, a central line is core, then it is better for it to lack connection with the remainder of the poem. In the case of the Left’s poem, however, it seems well linked with what follows. As for the Right’s poem, ‘bedchamber the flooding moon’ (neya moru tsuki) is not phrasing which is acceptable to me. However, the Left’s initial section seems pleasant, and the Right’s final section is elegant. Thus, the round is a tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love I: 7

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Left (Win).

洩らすなよ雲ゐる嶺の初時雨木の葉は下に色變るとも

morasunayo
kumoiru mine no
hatsu shigure
ko no ha wa shita ni
iro kawarutomo		 O, let it not leak out!
Though the cloud-capped peaks’
First shower of rain,
On the leaves’ underside
Has left a change of hue…

A Servant Girl.

613

Right.

閨のうちは涙の雨に朽ち果てゝしのぶは茂る妻にぞ有ける

neya no uchi wa
namida no ame ni
kuchihatete
shinobu wa shigeru
tsuma ni zo arikeru		 Within my bedchamber
A rain of tears
Has rotted all, so
The weeping ferns secretly grow thick
Around the edges…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

614

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no defects worth criticising. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the initial and final sections of the Right’s poem lack connection with each other. Does the poem have a conception of hiddenness?

Shunzei’s judgement: The conception and configuration of the Left’s ‘cloud-capped peaks’ first shower of rain’ (kumoiru mine no hatsu shigure) seems charming [kokoro sugata okashiku mie]. On that basis, it should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Winter II: 24

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Left.

引きかくる閨の衾の隔てにも響きは變る鐘の音かな

hikikakuru
neya no fusuma no
hedate ni mo
hibiki wa kawaru
kane no oto kana		 Drawn up beneath
The covers in my bedchamber, and
With them between
The echo is somehow different
When the bells chime…

Lord Sada’ie.

587

Right (Win).

雪の夜の思ふばかりも冴えぬこそ閨の衾のしるしなりけれ

yuki no yo no
omou bakari mo
saenu koso
neya no fusuma no
shirushi narikere		 It is a snowy night
I know, yet
There is no chill:
The covers in my bedchamber
Have that effect!

Ietaka.

588

The Gentlemen of the Right state: why have the ‘bell’ (kane) here? The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults.

Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s poem, having the poet buried beneath his bedclothes, which alter the sound of the bell recollects a composition on the ‘bell at the Temple of Bequeathed Love’. Nevertheless, the Gentlemen of the Right have asked, ‘Why have the bell here?’, and they are right to do so. The Right’s poem, on how the feeling of cold on a chill, snowy night vanishes briefly, exactly conveys the ‘bedding’s effect’ (fusuma no shirushi). Thus, it is without fault. I must make the Right the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Autumn II: 22

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Left (Tie).

明方に夜はなりぬとや菅原や伏見の田居に鴫ぞ立ちける

akekata ni
yo wa narinu to ya
sugawara ya
fushimi no tai ni
shigi zo tachikeru		 Is it that dawn
Has come to break the night,
That from the sedge-lined
Fields of Fushimi
The snipe have started?

Lord Suetsune.

403

Right.

明ぬるか鴫の羽がき閨過ぎて袖に月もる深草の里

akenuru ka
shigi no hanegaki
neya sugite
sode ni tsuki moru
fukakusa no sato		 Has dawn come?
The snipe’s wingbeats
Cross my bedchamber,
Sleeves lit by lonely moonlight
In the overgrown depths of Fukakusa…

Lord Takanobu.

404

The Right state, ‘There is no precedent for the addition of “fields” (tai) to “sedge-lined Fushimi” (sugawara ya fushimi). In addition, using ya at the end of both the second and third lines is grating on the ear.’ The Left merely remark, ‘“Fukakusa” is now, perhaps more commonly associated with quail.”

Shunzei’s judgement: ‘In regard to the Right’s poem, although one would really like there to be a precedent, and there are doubtless rice fields in “sedge-lined Fushimi”, I do still feel that “fields” here is a little outre, is it not? While the Left’s “sleeved lit by lonely moonlight” (sode ni tsuki moru) is superlative, I would prefer “quail” to be associated with “Fukakusa”. If snipe call for a place name, it is not Fukakusa, but Yamada, I would think. Both poems are excellent, but with faults, and for this reason the round ties.’