Tag Archives: blossom

Love I: 24

Left (Win).

忘れずよほのぼの人を三嶋江のたそがれなりし蘆のまよひに

wasurezu yo
honobono hito o
mishimae no
tasogare narishi
ashi no mayoi ni
Never will I forget you
Who I glimpsed faintly
In the dusk of Mishima Bay
A single reed
Causes confusion.

A Servant Girl.

647

Right.

花の色に移る心は山櫻霞のまより思ひそめてき

hana no iro ni
utsuru kokoro wa
yamazakura
kasumi no ma yori
omoisometeki
A blossom’s hue
Has caught my heart;
A mountain cherry
Through the parted mists
Has set me on the path of love.

Lord Takanobu.

648

The Gentlemen of the Right state: saying simply ‘dusk’ (tasogare) when it should be ‘the hour of dusk’ (tasogare toki) sounds somewhat strange. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is composed to recall the Kokinshū’s ‘A mountain cherry through the drifting mists’ (yamazakura kasumi no ma yori), but is inferior to the original.

Shunzei’s judgement: in regard to the Left’s poem, it is certainly the case that, even without the ‘hour’, ‘in the dusk’ is a standard expression. The Right’s poem sounds old-fashioned. The Left, though, does not sound unpleasant, even though its mentioning of ‘never will I forget’ (wasurezu yo) recollects ‘a tiled kiln’. It should win.

Winter I: 20

Left.

誰も見よこれはみぞれの空ならん散來る花は雨や交りし

tare mo miyo
kore wa mizore no
sora naran
chirikuru hana wa
ame ya majirishi
Behold, one and all!
This is a sleet-filled
Sky, indeed!
Flowers falling,
Mixed with rain?

Lord Suetsune.

519

Right (Win).

風渡る花のあたりの春雨は冬の空にもありける物を

kaze wataru
hana no atari no
harusame wa
fuyu no sora ni mo
arikeru mono o
The breeze blows
Around the blossom
In spring showers;
The winter skies, too,
Have such things…

Nobusada.

520

The Right wonder about the appropriateness of ‘mixed’ (majirishi). The Left complain that the Right’s poem ‘does not contain an expression from the topic [dai no ji]’ and wonder about the appropriateness of this in a poetry competition.

Shunzei’s judgement: ‘This is a sleet-filled sky, indeed!’ (kore wa mizore no sora naran) is charming, but the latter section of the poem, saying that blossoms fall during a shower is quite pedestrian [tsune no koto ni aran]. I also wonder about the appropriateness of ‘mixed with rain?’ (ame ya majirishi) as a choice of poetic diction [uta kotoba]. Having ‘Around the blossom in spring showers’ (hana no atari no harusame wa), and then ‘The winter skies, too, have such things…’ (fuyu no sora ni mo arikeru mono o) is extremely charming. Even without the explicit reference to the topic, one can certainly glimpse the sleet. The Right should win.