Composed on the topic of lingering snow for a poetry match held by Her Majesty, the Empress during the reign of the Goreizei emperor:
はなならでをらまほしきはなにはえのあしのわかばにふれるしらゆき
| Fana narade woramahosiki Fa naniFae no asi no wakaba ni Fureru shirayuki | Though they are not blossoms How I long to pick At Naniwa Inlet From the new-grown reed tips Fallen snowflakes. |
Lord Fujiwara no Norinaga
Round Six
Left (Win)
やへざくらふるきみやこににほへどもふりずもはなのめづらしきかな
| yaezakura furuki miyako ni nioedomo furizu mo hana no mezurashiki kana | Eightfold cherry Around the ancient capital Does glow, yet Unfallen and anew, the blossoms Are remarkable! |
Cell of Fragrant Cloud
11
Right
みやこいでてかりそめにこし山ざとの花に心のからめられぬる
| miyako idete karisome ni koshi yamazato no hana ni kokoro no karamerarenuru | Departing the capital On occasion I make my way To a mountain retreat where The blossoms my heart Have entangled. |
Cell of Compassionate Light
12
The Left’s poem is a clear example of the overlayed diction fault. As for the Right’s poem, saying ‘have entangled’ is extremely overblown diction. Whatever sort of poem it might be, this expression would be unacceptable, wouldn’t it! Was this, perhaps, composed with an imperfect understanding of the Kawara Minister’s poem? That goes ‘For the scented / Breeze has yet to blow…’[1] Perhaps this is a misreading of a character in the poem’s text?[i] The Left has the fault of overlayed diction, and the Right…[ii]
The Left’s poem is extremely charming. I do have to say that having both ‘ancient’ (furuki) and ‘unfallen’ (furizu) is a fault and yet, this should not be criticized excessively. The poem of the Right’s ‘On occasion I make my way’, too, does not seem as if the poet is visiting the blossom, and so is lacking in sentiment. The concluding ‘have entangled’ is a piece of overblown diction, although it is not the case that it does not appear in prior poetry,[2] but I still feel that it grates on the ear a bit.
[1] When he participated in an archery display, during the reign of the Jōgan emperor [Seiwa]. けふ桜しづくにわが身いざぬれむかごめにさそふ風のこぬまに kyō sakura / shizuku ni wa ga mi / iza nuremu / kagome ni sasou / kaze no konu ma ni ‘Today let cherry blossom / Droplets my body / Drench! / For the scented / Breeze has yet to blow…’ The Kawara Minister of the Left (GSS II: 56)
[2] 美知乃倍乃 宇万良能宇礼尓 波保麻米乃 可良麻流伎美乎 波可礼加由加牟 michi no e no / umara no ure ni / haomame no / karamaru kimi o / hagareka yukamu ‘At the roadside / The briar rose tips / By bean vines / Are entangled, but from you / My love, I must depart…’ Hasetsukabe no Tori (MYS XX: 4352)
[i] Mototoshi is suggesting that Sōen has misread kagome かこめ in Minamoto no Tōru’s famous earlier poem as karame からめ, which would have been possible if reading a handwritten text.
[ii] There is a lacuna in Mototoshi’s judgement here, but it is clear from what he has said that he disapproved of both poems this round and so it would have been a tie.
Round Five
Left (Win)
さくらやまはなのさかりに風ふけばこずゑをこして白波ぞたつ
| sakurayama hana no sakari ni kaze fukeba kozue o koshite shiranami zo tatsu | On the mount of Cherries So fine is the blossom that When the wind does blow, Passing o’er the treetops, Whitecaps arise! |
Controller’s Graduate
9
Right
この春ははなにこころのあくがれてこのもとにてもくらしつるかな
| kono haru wa hana ni kokoro no akugarete ko no moto nite mo kurashitsuru kana | This springtime By the blossoms my heart Is captivated, and Beneath the trees Does dwell! |
Kerin’in Graduate
10
Both Left and Right, in terms of diction, tone and style are superb with no faults at all. Thus, this is a tie.
The final section of the Left’s poem lacks fluency, yet it has conception. As for the Right’s poem, in order for one’s heart to be captivated by the blossom on every single treetop, one would need to be walking around. If one is resting peacefully beneath the trees, then one should say that one’s heart is captured. This section sounds erroneous, so the Left should win.
Round Three
Left (Win)
うきよにもはなのさかりになりぬればものおもふ人はあらじとぞ思ふ
| ukiyo ni mo hana no sakari ni narinureba mono’omou hito wa araji to zo omou | Even in this cruel world The blossoms in profusion Are, so Folk sunk in gloomy thought Are there likely not a one, I feel! |
Retired from the world on Mount Uji
5
Right
ちらざらむことこそはなのかたからめわびてはさてもしばしあらなむ
| chirazaramu koto koso hana no katakarame wabite wa sate mo shibashi aranamu | Not to scatter For the blossoms is a thing So hard— It may be painful, but still I would have them stay a while. |
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
6
I fail to understand—at all—why there should be a large number of people for whom the world is cruel. This is deeply unpleasant. In connection with this there’s an older poem which says ‘innumerable, my sorry self alone has caused these woes’.[i] The poem of the Right has ‘It may be painful, but still / I would have them stay a while’—if the blossoms have not yet scattered, then how can this still be painful? I cannot grasp the diction and reasoning of these two poems, so they tie.
The poem of the Left has some conception—it appears to be expressing sentiments that are natural. It’s extremely charming how it links with the conception of the old expression ‘the heart of spring’.[ii] However, the diction ‘feel/think’ [omou] appears in two places. I do feel that in terms of the sequencing of the phrasing, that’s certainly how it is, so it’s not a fault as such, but I would have preferred to see the second usage at the beginning of its line. As for the poem of the Right, from ‘painful’ to the end, it is immature. It doesn’t sound like a poem and resembles prosaic speech. Thus, I have to say the Left is the winner.
[i] Mototoshi appears to be misremembering this poem: Topic unknown. おほかたのわが身ひとつのうきからになべての世をも怨みつるかな ōkata no / wa ga mi hitotsu no / uki kara ni / nabete no yo o mo / uramitsuru kana ‘In general / My sorry self, alone, / Has caused these woes, but / Still all of this common world / I do despise!’ Tsurayuki (SIS XV: 953).
[ii] Toshiyori is referring to this poem from Kokinshū here: Composed at the Nagisa Palace when he saw the cherries in bloom. 世中にたえてさくらのなかりせば春の心はのどけからまし yo no naka ni / taete sakura no / nakariseba / haru no kokoro wa / nodokekaramashi ‘If, in this world of ours / All the cherry blossom / Disappeared / The heart of spring / Might find peace.’ Ariwara no Narihira (KKS I: 53).
Sand Pear Blossom
よの中をうしといひてもいづくにかみをばかくさむ山なしの花
| yo no naka o ushi to iitemo izuku ni ka mi oba kakusamu yamanashi no hana | This mundane world I hate, I say, yet Somewhere I would hide myself away among The sand-pear blossoms. |
15[i]
[i] This poem is included in Kokin rokujō (4268), with the headnote ‘Sand Pear’, and also in Mandaishū (2812) with the headnote, ‘From the Poetry Match at the Residence of the Ōmi Lady of the Bedchamber’.
