Composed as a love poem.
一夜とてよがれしとこのさむしろにやがてもちりのつもりぬるかな
| hitoyo tote yogaresi toko no samusiro ni yagate mo tiri no tumorinuru kana | ‘Just for one night,’ he said, but At night my bed lies abandoned, with A chilly, threadbare blanket Where the dust Is piled high! |
Sanuki
Left (Tie)
人待つと荒れ行く閨のさむしろに払はぬ塵を払ふ秋風
| hito matsu to areyuku neya no samushiro ni harawanu chiri o harau akikaze | Awaiting him in A dilapidated room’s Chill blankets, The dust I’ve left untouched is Brushed by the cloying wind of autumn. |
A Servant Girl
1137
Right
夜もすがら泪ながるる狭筵は払はぬ塵も積もらざりけり
| yomosugara namida nagaruru samushiro wa harawanu chiri mo tsumorazarikeri | All night long My tears flow upon My blanket, so Even the dust I’ve left untouched Does not pile up… |
Jakuren
1138
The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of the autumn wind blowing into a bedroom. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.
In judgment: while it does not sound as if there is a clear winner or loser between the ‘dust I’ve left untouched’ (harawanu chiri) used by both parties, why on earth should the autumn wind not blow into the Left’s bedroom? Really, there is no fault at all in saying that the wind will blow into a dilapidated bedroom! The Right has ‘dust I’ve left untouched’ flowing away with the speaker’s tears, and lacks any faults from beginning to end, but the configuration of the Left’s concluding ‘dust I’ve left untouched is brushed by the cloying wind of autumn’ is superior. The initial section of this poem is a little lacking, however, so both poems are equivalent and should tie.
Left
君とわが寝しさむしろの塵なれば形見がてらにうちも払はず
| kimi to wa ga neshi samushiro no chiri nareba katami ga tera ni uchi mo harawazu | My love and I Did sleep upon these blankets, so Even the dust there Is a memento – I cannot brush it away! |
Lord Suetsune
1135
Right (Win)
ひとり寝の床のさ筵朽ちにけり涙は袖をかぎるのみかは
| hitorine no toko no samushiro kuchinikeri namida wa sode o kagiru nomi ka wa | Sleeping solo on My bed’s blankets, They have rotted away; Tears on more than sleeves Have that effect… |
Ietaka
1136
The Right state: ‘did sleep’ (neshi) is particularly unimpressive. The Left state: ‘more than sleeves’ (sode o kagiru) is, perhaps, over-definite.
In judgement: in the Left’s poem, despite ‘did sleep upon these blankets’ (neshi samushiro) referring to something which definitely exists, it still sounds as if there is not much poetic expression in the poem. ‘Is a memento’ (katami ga tera) fails to resemble ‘for blossom viewing’ (hanami ga tera). As for the Right’s poem, I certainly would not say that ‘tears on more than sleeves have that effect’ (namida wa sode o kagiru nomi ka wa) is over-definite. It is somewhat difficult to make out on hearing, but the configuration is poetic, indeed, so the Right should win, it seems.
Left
君ゆへにわれさへうとく成はてゝ塵のみゐたる床のさむしろ
| kimi yue ni ware sae utoku narihatete chiri nomi itaru toko no samushiro |
For him So distant have I Become; Dust alone gathers On the matting of my bed. |
Lord Ari’ie
1131
Right (Win)
さむしろも哀とや思ふあらましに來ぬ君待つとうち拂ふをば
| samushiro mo aware to ya omou aramashi ni konu kimi matsu to uchiharau o ba |
Does my matting, too, Feel pity, I wonder? As waiting for one who never comes I sweep it clean… |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1132
The Right state: the Left’s poem is not bad. The Left state: the final section of the Right’s poem is unsatisfactory.
In judgement: Both poems use ‘matting’ (samushiro), and the Left’s is not bad in form, but the theme of a person who has grown to hate their own bed so much that dust alone gathers there is completely different from that of the previous round – what sort of lover might they have had, one wonders! Although I wonder about the final section of the Right’s poem, it does not seem to regret the overall conception of love and so wins the round.
Left (Win).
見し人のねくたれ髪の面影に涙かきやる小夜の手枕
| mishi hito no nekutare kami no omokage ni namida kakiyaru sayo no tamakura |
One I once loved: Her sleep-tangled hair Comes to mind, and My tears drop upon My pillowed arm this night. |
A Servant Girl.
839
Right.
見せばやな夜床に積もる塵をのみあらましごとに拂ふ氣色を
| miseba ya na yodoko ni tsumoru chiri o nomi aramashi goto ni harau keshiki o |
Hoping to see him, From my bed the piled Dust at least, Wishing it would be, Sweeping away – that’s me! |
Nobusada.
838
Left and Right both state there are no faults to indicate.
In judgement: even though both the Left’s ‘pillowed arm this night’ (sayo no tamakura) and the Right’s ‘dusty bed’ (yodoko no chiri) are elegant, the combination of ‘my tears drop upon my pillowed arm this night’ (namida kakiyaru sayo no tamakura) is particularly moving. The Left should win.