Topic unknown.
しぐれの雨まなくしふればまきの葉もあらそひかねて色づきにけり
| shigure no ame ma nakushi fureba maki no ha mo arasoikanete irozukinikeri | Showers of rain Fall without respite, so Even evergreens’ leaves Can fight no longer, and Take on a hint of colour. |
Hitomaro[i]
[i] This poem appears in Man’yōshū (X: 2196) where it is not attributed to a named poet, so the attribution to Hitomaro here is probably spurious.
Left (Win)
今さらにたれに心をうつうつすらむ我とすみ絵はかき絶えにけり
| ima sara ni tare ni kokoro o utsusuramu ware to sumi e wa kakitaenikeri |
Now, once again, To whom will his heart Shift? His reflection in A drawing of ink, is all that’s left Drawn, now he no longer lives with me… |
Lord Ari’ie
1107
Right
跡もなく色になり行言の葉やすみ絵ををとむる木立成らん
| ato mo naku iro ni nariyuki koto no ha ya sumi e o tomuru kodachi naruran |
No lines remain, All is turned to colour; Will his leaves of words Remain here at my home, as an ink Sketch of a grove? |
Lord Takanobu
1108
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults in particular. The Left state: why would you say that an ink drawing that remains ‘leaves no trace’? We would have preferred it had it been ‘colours most fair’ (iro masaru).
In judgement: both Left and Right have the conception of ‘ink drawings’ (sumie) and, when viewed together, I do not feel that they show much promise, but the Right, beginning with ‘no lines remain’ (ato mo naku) which I do not feel is in tune with the latter part of the poem, in addition, then concludes with ‘sketch of a grove’ (kodachi naruran) which is undesirable. The Left’s ‘a drawing of ink, is all that’s left’ (ware to sumi e wa) is a metaphorical expression which at least strives at charm. Thus, I must say that the Left is superior.