kaze samumi yūkage kusa ni kakuroete hataorumushi no koe kikoyu nari
Chill the wind Upon the evening grasses, from Whence, concealed, The crickets’ Cries I hear.
Chikafusa 15
Right
誰がためとあやめも見えぬ夕ざれにはたおる虫の声聞ゆらん
ta ga tame to ayame mo mienu yūzare ni hataorumushi no koe kikoyuran
For whose sake Amidst the gloam Of eventide, might The crickets’ Cries I hear?
Lady Hȳoe 16
At present, ‘Amidst the gloam / Of eventide’ appears to have a bit more conception than ‘the evening grasses, from / Whence, concealed, / The crickets’.
samuki yo wa sagoromo kari no koe kikeba kaesugaesu zo hito wa koishiki
On a night so chill, In a scanty robe, when the goose Cries I hear, Again and yet again Do I long for her…
18
[i] This poem is included in Shinshūishū (XII: 1011), with the headnote, ‘From the poetry match at Tsurayuki’s house’. A variant of it also appears in some Mandaishū (XV: 2458) texts; in others the version provided is as in the contest: From the poetry match held when Tsuryuki was in Suo province. 秋萩におく白露の澄みかへり人をこひしとおもふころかな aki hagi ni / oku shiratsuyu no / sumikaeri / hito o koishi to / omou koro kana ‘In autumn upon the bush-clover / Fall silver dewdrops / Ever clear / Her I loved— / My feelings in those days’.
akenbono wa namida ya moroki hototogisu naku ne ni otsuru mori no shitazuyu
With the dawn Are you swiftly to tears moved By the cuckoo’s Calling cries, falling from The forest drip dewdrops?
Dōchin 39
Right
今もかも昔やこふる橘の花ちる里になく郭公
ima mo kamo mukashi ya kouru tachibana no hana chiru sato ni naku hototogisu
I wonder, is she now, As in days gone by, beloved Where orange Blossom falls on the estate— The calling cuckoo?[1]
Dharma Master Nyokan 40
Both Left and Right are of the same quality, yet I wonder about the sound of the Right poem’s final section, so the Left wins.
[1] An allusive variation on: A poem by the Governor-General of Dazai, Lord Ōtomo. 橘の花散る里の霍公鳥片恋しつつ鳴く日しぞ多き tachibana no / hana chiru sato no / hototogisu / kata koishitsutsu / naku hi shi zo ōki ‘Orange / Blossom scatters round my estate where / The cuckoo / For unrequited love / Does cry on many a day…’ Ōtomo no Tabito (MYS VIII: 1473)
