Written on the edge of a folding screen by a painting of geese flying in the clouds, when His Majesty ordered a celebration for the Junior Principal Handmaid.
白雲の中にまがひてゆく雁もこゑはかくれぬ物にざりける
shirakumo no naka ni magaite yuku kari mo koe wa kakurenu mono ni zarikeru
Within the clouds, so white, Entangled Goes a goose, Unable to conceal his cry With anything at all!
samidare ni nuru to mo yukamu hototogisu futakoe kinaku sato wa ari ya to
By the summer showers We will be drenched, yet let’s away! For the cuckoo Has come to sing and sing again At that estate, perchance…
Retired from the world 19
Right
さ月やみくらくはくらくほととぎすこゑはかくれぬ物にぞありける
satsuki yami kuraku wa kuraku hototogisu koe wa kakurenu mono ni zo arikeru
In the Fifth Month’s gloomy Darkness deep, The cuckoo Is unable to conceal his cry With anything at all!
Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer 20
Both Left and Right are workmanlike poems with little evidence of thought. With that being said, however, the conclusion of the Right’s poem is identical to that of a famous work by the Horikawa Minister. That poem is ‘The River Sao: / Mist rises, and from beyond / Come plover cries, / Their calls uninterrupted / By anything.’[1] And the Right here is, at the very least, extraordinarily redolent of it! Still, I feel the Left does linger in the heart.
The Left’s poem is not particularly remarkable, yet it has no faults worth mentioning. It doesn’t contain any distasteful expressions and resembles familiar compositions. The poem of the Right’s ‘darkness deep’ sounds like something said by a black-hearted scoundrel—I don’t feel it’s poetic diction at all! In addition, on the matter of the concluding ‘unable to conceal his cry’,[i] well, this appears in a range of earlier poems, as does ‘his cry uninterrupted’, so one should be hesitant about using it. I make the faultless Left the winner.
[1] Composed on plovers for a poetry competition in Eishō 4 [1050]. 佐保川の霧のあなたに鳴く千鳥聲は隔てぬ物にぞ有ける saogawa no / kiri no anata ni / naku chidori / koe wa hedatenu / mono ni zo arikeru ‘The River Sao: / Mist rises, and from beyond / Come plover cries, / Their calls uninterrupted / By anything.’ The Horikawa Minister of the Right [Fujiwara no Yorimune] (GSIS VI: 388)
[i] The only surviving example of this usage pre-dating this match is: Written on the edge of a folding screen by a painting of geese flying in the clouds, when His Majesty ordered a celebration for the Junior Principal Handmaid. 白雲の中にまがひてゆく雁もこゑはかくれぬ物にざりける shirakumo no / naka ni magaite / yuku kari mo / koe wa kakurenu / mono ni zarikeru ‘Within the clouds, so white, / Entangled / Goes a goose, / Unable to conceal his cry / With anything at all!’ Fujiwara no Kanesuke (Kanesuke-shū 48). There is also one further example in later poetry: Composed and sent when he heard that Inspector Kinmichi had had a number of people compose poems on the bush warbler at his residence. 春霞たちへだつれど鶯の声はかくれぬものとしらずや harugasumi / tachihedatsuredo / uguisu no / koe wa kakurenu / mono to shirazu ya ‘The haze of spring / Arising, interferes, yet / The warbler / Is unable to conceal his cry— / I wonder if he know it?’ Former Consultant Tsunemori (GYS I: 50)
hototogisu maki no to bakari machitsuredo nakade akenuru natsu no shinonome
O, cuckoo, Briefly by my door of cedar wood Did I await you, yet No song, at all, brightened This summer edge of dawn.
Lord Dainagon 15
Right (Win)
ほととぎすなくうれしさをつつめどもそらにはこゑもとまらざりけり
hototogisu naku ureshisa o tsutsumedomo sora ni wa koe mo tomarazarikeri
At the cuckoo’s Song, my joy To hold fast did I try, yet In the skies, his cry Lingered not.
Lord Chūnagon 16
The Left’s poem, after careful consideration, has a graceful style. The diction of the Right’s poem is superb, and there is an excess of conception. Reading and reciting these leaves my aged heart at a loss. Thus, they tie.
In the Left’s poem, ‘briefly’ is an expression which means ‘just for a short time’, I think, and thus the sentiments are lacking. Saying ‘brightened…edge of dawn’ sounds as if the poet has only begun waiting at daybreak. One does see, apparently, a number of poems in prior matches where the poet has not heard the cuckoo. Nevertheless, I do wonder about whether this is appropriate, given that poems where the cuckoo has been heard are faultless. The Right’s poem is not that good, but it is poetic. Thus, it has to win.
fuku kaze mo mi ni shimu aki no yūgure ni aware o souru shika no koe kana
The gusting wind Pierces my flesh on an autumn Evening, as Sadness laces The stag’s cry!
Lord Michyoshi 27
Right
妻こふるさ夜ふけがたの鹿のねに声うちそへて秋風ぞ吹く
tsuma kouru sayo fukegata no shika no ne ni koe uchisoete akikaze zo fuku
Yearning for his mate as Brief night wears on, A stag’s cry Is voiced, lacing The gusting autumn wind.
Tamechika 28
Both Left and Right have the same overall content, but the Left’s ‘yearning for his mate as / Brief night wears on’ reverses the appropriate order of the diction: it would be preferable to say ‘Brief night wears on as / Yearning for his mate’. The Left has no such issues and so it should win.
saoshika mo aki o kanashi to omoeba ya toki shimo koe o tatete nakuran
Does the stag, too, Autumn’s sadness Feel? That at this time, of all, his cry Should ring out so…
Lord Shige’ie 25
Right
嶺になく鹿の音ちかくきこゆなり紅葉吹きおろす夜はのあらしに
mine ni naku shika no ne chikaku kikoyu nari momiji fuki’orosu yowa no arashi ni
Crying upon the peak The stag’s bell close by Sounds, carried With blown down scarlet leaves On the midnight storm…
Lord Tsunemori 26
The Left truly sounds as if it grasps the conception with its use of ‘of all, his cry’. The Right, too, is poetic with ‘blown down scarlet leaves’. There may be some who say that one should not compose using a subsidiary topic, yet in the poetry match held in Tentoku[i] and the poetry match held by Emperor Kazan[ii], this was judged not to be a fault.
[i] This was the Dairi uta’awase Tentoku yo-nen 内裏歌合 天徳四年 (‘Palace Poetry Match Tentoku 4’) held by Emperor Murakami on the 30th day of the Third Month, Tentoku 4 [28.4.960].
[ii] This was the Dairi uta’awase Kanna gan-nen 内裏歌合 寛和元年 (‘Palace Poetry Match Kanna 1’) held by Emperor Kazan the 10th day of the Eighth Month, Kanna 1 [28.8.985].