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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IX: 15

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Left (Win)
思あまり絵にかきとめてなぐさむる妹が上にも涙落ちけり

omoi amari
e ni kakitomete
nagusamuru
imo ta ue ni mo
namida ochikeri		 Too much in love
I paint a picture for
Consolation, but
Upon my darling
Tears fall…

Lord Kanemune
1109

Right
かきとめて変らぬ色もをみなへしあはれと見れば露ぞこぼるる

kakitomete
kawaranu iro mo
ominaeshi
aware to mireba
tsuyu zo koboruru		 Painted in
Changeless hues is my love –
A maidenflower
I glimpse in sorrow,
Drenched with dew…

Ietaka
1110

The Right state: the Left’s poem certainly has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no conception of Love.

In judgement: both Gentlemen’s pictures are ‘painted’ (kakitomete), with the Left then using ‘upon my darling’ (imo ga ue ni mo), which certainly has a conception of love. The Right simply draws a picture of a maidenflower and drenches it with dew, so it does not seem as if he is being moved by the sight of a person. Thus, again, the Left seems the superior poem.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 28

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Left (Win)
あはれにぞ鳴あかすなる蛬われのみしぼる袖かと思ふに

aware ni zo
nakiakasunaru
kirigirisu
ware nomi shiboru
sode ka to omou ni		 How sad it is –
Crying with the dawn is
The cricket, though
I alone am wringing
Out my sleeves, I feel.

Lord Suetsune
1075

Right
露深きあはれを思へきりぎりす枕の下の秋の夕暮

tsuyu fukaki
aware o omoe
kirigirisu
makura no shita no
aki no yūgure		 Deep in dew and
Sad, I wish you were,
O, cricket,
Beneath my pillow
On this autumn evening…

Nobusada
1076

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults we can mention. The Gentlemen of the Left state: our feelings are the same as those of the Right

In judgement: both Left and Right are on ‘crickets’ (kirigirisu) and their configuration and diction sound equally elegantly beautiful. I feel that the Right, with ‘deep in dew and sad, I wish you were’ (tsuyu fukaki aware o omoe), is somewhat lacking in the conception of the poet’s own love, but the Left, with ‘I alone am wringing out my sleeves, I feel’ (ware nomi shiboru sode ka to omou ni), has an excellent conception of love, so I must state that the Left is the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 5

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Left
人待ちし庭の淺茅生茂りあひて心にならす道芝の露

hito machishi
niwa no asajū
shigeriaite
kokoro ni narasu
michishiba no tsuyu		 Awaiting him,
The cogon-grass in my garden
Has grown lush, indeed;
And I have taken to my heart
The dew that falls upon my lawn!

A Servant Girl
1029

Right (Win)
秋風になびく淺茅の色よりもかはるは人の心なりけり

akikaze ni
nabiku asaji no
iro yori mo
kawaru wa hito no
kokoro narikeri		 With the autumn wind
Waves the cogon grass,
Colours
Changing less than her
Heart’s passions…

Ietaka
1030

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the intial part of the Right’s poem is derived from an old poem, and so does the end!

In judgement: I wonder whether the cogon-grass (asajū), mentioned initially, is as clearly conceived as the ‘lawn’ (michishiba) mentioned at the end? The Right’s poem refers to ‘So full are my thoughts,  what am I to do? With the autumn wind’, but reverses the beginning and end of that poem; it is extremely old-fashioned in style, but pleasant as it is plainly intended to be understood as a variant of its model. Thus, the Right wins over the combination of ‘cogon-grass’ and ‘lawn’.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 3

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Left (Tie)
うち頼む人のけしきの秋風に心の底の萱が下折れ

uchitanomu
hito no keshiki no
akikaze ni
kokoro no soko no
kaya ga shitaore		 I did rely on
Him, but now in his look, is
The autumn wind; in
The depths of my heart are
Broken, drooping fronds of silver grass…

Lord Ari’ie
1025

Right
あさましやなどか思のさしも草露も置きあへずはては燃ゆらん

asamashi ya
nado ka omoi no
sashimogusa
tsuyu mo okiaezu
hate wa moyuran		 How strange it is!
Why is it that my love’s fires, like
Moxa,
Not completely covered by the dew
Will at the end burst into flame once more?

Jakuren
1026

The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to indicate. The Left state: in the Later Collection of Gleanings there is a poem about Ibuki, which uses ‘burst into flame’ (moyu). We wonder about the suitability of using ‘burst into flame’ without also using Ibuki. The Right, in response: older poems used ‘burst entirely into flame’ (sashimoyu), and this composition is the same.

In judgement: I am not accustomed to hearing ‘the depths of my heart are silver grass’ (kokoro no soko no kaya) as in the Left’s poem. The image in the Right’s poem of moxa not completely covered with dew bursting into flame seems rather overblown. The strengths and weaknesses of the two poems are unclear, so the round should tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love VIII: 1

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Left (Win)
忘らるゝ人に軒端の忍ぶ草涙の雨ぞ露けかりける

wasuraruru
hito ni nokiba no
shinobugusa
namida no ame zo
tsuyukekarikeru		 Forgotten by
Him, beneath my eaves
The ferns bring back memories;
A rain of tears
Leaves them dew-drenched.

Lord Kanemune
1021

Right
戀づまのやがて軒端になり行けばいとど忍ぶの草ぞ茂れる

koizuma no
yagate nokiba ni
nariyukeba
itodo shinobu no
kusa zo shigereru		 My man is
Far away; beneath my eaves
Are the signs:
How many memories and
Ferns grow thickly…

Lord Tsune’ie
1022

Both Left and Right state: we find no faults to mention.

In judgement: both poems refer to ‘memory ferns’ (shinobugusa), and there is not a great deal of difference in quality between them, but the Left’s ‘rain of tears’ (namida no ame), with its association of dew, is slightly better than the Right’s ‘ferns grow thickly’ (kusa zo shigereru), and so should win.

Man'yōshū

MYS XI: 2357

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朝戸出の君が足結を濡らす露原早く起き出でつつ我れも裳裾濡らさな

asa tode no
kimi ga ayupi wo
nurasu tuyu para
payaku oki
idetutu ware mo
mosuso nurasana		 In the morning, opening the door
Bound up, your belt
Will be drenched by the dewy fields;
Swiftly rising
I, too, shall venture out and
Soak my skirt-hem…

Kakinomoto no Hitomaro Collection
柿本人麻呂歌集