Tag Archives: Distant Love

Love V: 18

Left (Tie).
戀しとは便りにつけていひやりつ年は返りぬ人は歸らず

koishi to wa
tayori ni tsukete
iiyaritsu
toshi wa kaerinu
hito wa kaerazu
I love you,
I put in a letter, and
Sent it off;
The years have gone by, but
He has not returned.

A Servant Girl
875

Right.
遥かなり幾草枕結びてかその下紐の解けんとすらん

harukanari
iku kusamakura
musubite ka
sono shitahimo no
token to sururan
A great distance –
How many times pillowed on the grass?
Tied tight
My under-belt –
I wonder when I will undo it?

Nobusada
876

The Right state: the Left’s poem seems comic. The Left state: the initial line of the Right’s poems does not seem to have much to say.

In judgement: I wonder if it really is comic? It’s just a poem in one particular style. The conception of the poem ‘I do not await / The new year, yet it is here; / The Winter plants’ is especially charming. As for the Right, the Gentlemen have stated that the first line ‘has nothing much to say’, but I feel it is appropriately placed. Furthermore, I wonder what to think about the final ‘my under-belt’ (sono shitahimo), but, then again, the configuration of ‘How many times pillowed on the grass’ (iku kusa makura) is evocative. The poems are comparable, and again, they tie. Alas, my judgement here suggests I know nothing of poetry. It is most difficult when one realises how times have changed. How sad it is…

Love V: 17

Left (Win).
悲しきは境異なる中として亡き玉までもよそに浮かれん

kanashiki wa
sakai kotonaru
naka to shite
naki tama made mo
yoso ni ukaren
How sad it is:
Beyond the borders of this life
Should our bond endure
Even your departed soul
So distant, would I trail after…

Lord Sada’ie
873

Right.
忘れずよ幾雲井とは知らねども空行月の契ばかりは

wasurezu yo
iku kumoi to wa
shiranedomo
sora yuku tsuki no
chigiri bakari wa
I will not forget!
How far beyond the clouds you are
I know not, yet
As the moon across the skies,
Is my simple vow to you…

Jakuren
874

Left and Right: no faults to mention.

In judgement: although the Left’s poem sounds a little over-familiar, it certainly does have conception. The Right’s poem does sound smooth, but the origin poem has ‘Forget me not’ (wasuru na yo) – and this has ‘I will not forget’ (wasurezu yo) – the origin poem has ‘for distant as the clouds’ (hodo wa kumoi ni) – and this has ‘how far beyond the clouds’ (iku kumoi to wa); and ‘as the moon across the skies’ (sora yuku tsuki no) is identical, so the only part which as been changed is ‘I shall return – ‘til then’ (meguri au made). It is only to be expected that it would sound good, given that it presents much of the same material in the same order. The Left should win.

Love V: 16

Left.
思ひこそ千島の奥を隔てねどえぞ通はさぬ壺の碑

omoi koso
chishima no oku o
hedatenedo
ezo kayowasanu
tsubo no ishibumi
My love
Has not the Thousand Islands
Barring it, yet
The barbarians cannot pass
The Stone at Tsubo – nor can I write to you!

Kenshō
871

Right (Win).
思ひやる心幾重の峰越えて信夫の奧を尋ね入るらん

omoiyaru
kokoro ikue no
mine koete
shinobu no oku o
tazuneiruran
Dwelling on you,
My heart numberless
Peaks will cross
To the depths of Shinobu,
Perhaps to visit someone hidden there?

Ietaka
872

As the previous round.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘Thousand Islands’ (chishima) is a familiar expression from the past, but I do not recall it being used in poetry. I am familiar with the Right’s ‘depths of Shinobu’ (shinobu no oku), so that is better. Again, the Right wins.

Love V: 13

Left (Tie).
行通ふ心の戀をしるべにてまだ見ぬ峰を幾重越ゆらん

yukikayou
kokoro no koi o
shirube nite
mada minu mine o
ikue koyuran
Crossing distances, with
Our hearts’ love
As a guide;
How many unseen peaks
Must I yet cross…

Lord Ari’ie.
865

Right.
尋ぬべき程を聞くにもいとゞしく心の道ぞまづ迷ひぬる

tazunubeki
hodo o kiku ni mo
itodoshiku
kokoro no michi zo
mazu mayoinuru
The distance I must travel:
When I ask how far it is,
More and more
Does my heart upon the path
Begin by wandering lost.

Lord Takanobu.
866

The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of the expression ‘our hearts’ love’ (kokoro no koi)? The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘our hearts’ love’ is something I am completely unaccustomed to hearing. The Right’s poem does have ‘my heart upon the path’ (kokoro no michi), but the use of ‘more and more’ (itodoshiku) means it is difficult to make it a winner. The round should tie.