The Gentlemen of the Right state: the initial line of the Left’s poem sounds poor. The sense of the ending, too, is difficult to grasp. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of changing oneself into a bed.
In judgement: both Left and Right refer to ‘a boar lounging in his bed’ (fusu i no toko), and it has been mentioned that the initial line of the Left’s poem sounds poor, and that its ending is difficult to grasp. There really are a number of unacceptable aspects to this poem, are there not, so I cannot add any further words to what has been said. The Right’s poem is not suggesting that one change oneself into a bed. It is saying that one should briefly become a boar, that one might dream briefly of love. How can one possibly see the dream of a boar lying asleep? It certainly seems inferior to ‘not envying a lounging boar’.
The Right state: is this a reference to the recent poem ‘seeing a dream with white hair’ (yume o miru to mo tsukumogami)? The Left state: ‘drifting years’ (tsumu toshi) is grating on the ear.
In judgement: both poems refer to hair, and the Gentlemen of the Right have asked whether the Left are referring to a ‘recent poem’, and I wonder when this poem might have been composed? It is impossible to entirely avoid referring to poems which are not included in the anthologies. Needless to say, though, it is normal for one’s poems not to resemble others to a great extent. In addition, I do not feel that ‘drifting years’ is that grating on the ear. However, simply saying ‘Upon my raven tresses are made clear’ (wa ga kurogami ni arawarenikeri) does not convey a strong sense of gray hair, I think. Finally, the configuration of the Left’s ‘then a false dream’ (sa wa itsuwari no) is particularly unacceptable, I think. So, a tie.