Tag Archives: droplets

Love IV: 7

Left.
今朝よりはさらば涙にまかせてん絞り逢ふべき袖の雫か

kesa yori wa
saraba namida ni
makaseten
shiboriaubeki
sode no shizuku ka
From this morning
Should it be that my tears
I will just let fall, for
I cannot wring out
These droplets from my sleeves…

Lord Suetsune.
793

Right.
我ごとく人や戀しき見るまゝにやがてしぼるゝ朝顔の花

ware gotoku
hito ya koishiki
miru mama ni
yagate shiboruru
asagao no hana
As much as I
Is there anyone in love?
While watching,
Soon enough languish,
The morning glory blooms…

Lord Takanobu.
794

The Right state: is saying ‘From this morning’ (kesa yori wa) suggesting that the feelings have particularly arisen this morning? In response: this is simply the style of poetry. It is commonplace to use expressions such as ‘today it is that’ (kyō wa sa wa) or ‘now it is that’ (ima wa sa wa). The Left state: the initial two lines of the Right’s poem pay no attention to style.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, commencing ‘From this morning’ (kesa yori wa) and then saying ‘Should it be that my tears’ (saraba namida ni) does not seem poor. I do wonder about the final ‘These droplets from my sleeves’ (sode no shizuku ka), though. As for the Right’s poem, I do not feel that the initial two lines lack attention to style. The entirety of both teams comments display no knowledge of poetry, and fail to identify the merits or faults of the opposing poems. I feel that both the Left and the Right poems this round are elegant. Thus, the round should tie.