妹が家路みち黄昏になる時は垣根の花を訪ねてぞ行く
imo ga iFedi miti tasogare ni naru toki Fa kakine no Fana wo tadunete zo yuku |
The way to my darling’s house is In full dusk; That is the hour The blossom in the brushwood fence I do go to visit! |
Left.
ひとり寢の憂き身になるゝ秋風をつれなき人の心ともがな
hitorine no ukimi ni naruru akikaze o tsurenaki hito no kokoro tomo gana |
To sleeping alone In desolation am I accustomed; O, that the autumn wind were My cruel love’s Heart… |
Lord Suetsune.
925
Right (Win).
夕まぐれ吹くる秋の初風は戀せぬ人も身にやしむらん
yūmagure fukikuru aki no hatsukaze wa koisenu hito mo mi ni ya shimuran |
In the evening’s dusk Comes blowing autumn’s First breeze; Will one who loves not Be pierced as am I? |
Lord Tsune’ie.
926
Both Left and Right together state: we have nothing we feel we should say.
In judgement: the final section of the Left’s poem is clichéd. I also wonder about the sound of ‘in desolation am I’ (ukimi). The Right’s poem has nothing particularly remarkable about it, but it should win
Left (Win).
玉ほこの道行き人も心ありて來んと頼めよこの夕卜には
tamahoko no michi yukibito mo kokoro arite kon to tanomeyo kono yūke ni wa |
Jewelled spear straight The road for this traveller: If he longs for me, Let it say, ‘Come with me!’, This evening’s fortune! |
Lord Kanemune.
819
Right.
逢ことを頼むる暮と思せば入相の鐘も嬉しからまし
au koto o tanomuru kure to omoiseba iriai no kane mo ureshikaramashi |
‘We will meet, On that you can rely, at dusk,’ He made me think, so The sunset bell, too, Does seem full of joy! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
820
The Right state: evening fortune-telling and crossroad divination are different things. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults.
In judgement: both evening fortune-telling and crossroad divination are conducted in the evening, and with either one could wish ‘Let it say, “Come with me!”’ (kon to tanomeyo), so this does not seem to be a mistake does it? The Right has the fault of having both ‘We will meet’ (au koto o) and ‘sunset bell, too’ (iriai no kane mo). The Left should win.
Left.
宇津の山夕越え來れば霙降り袖ほしかねつ哀この旅
utsu no yama yū koekureba mizore furi sode hoshikanetsu aware kono tabi |
Gloomy in the Utsu Mountains, Crossing them at dusk In a fall of sleet; I cannot dry my sleeves, On this lonely journey. |
527
Right.
今日も又交野の御野に霙してかはく間もなき狩衣かな
kyō mo mata katano no mino ni mizore shite kawaku ma mo naki karigoromo kana |
Today once more On the royal hunting grounds at Katano Sleet falls; No time at all to dry My hunter’s garb… |
528
The Right find no faults with the Left’s poem. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem sounds old-fashioned [furumekashi].
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s ‘I cannot dry my sleeves, on this lonely journey’ (sode hoshikanetsu aware kono tabi) has a strong sound of loneliness about it [sabite wa kikoehaberu], but there is a lack of anything connected to utsu no yama in this poem. In The Tales of Ise where it says ‘By Utsu Mount in reality‘ (utsu no yamabe no utsutsu ni mo), it does not seem that sleet was falling. If there is no reason for including utsu no yama to express the sense of sleet falling, there are many other places which could have been used to express a lonely journey. As there is no reason for including it, formally [sama de] there is a lack of connection to it. The Right’s katano no mino, too, as in the poem ‘To lend lodging to keep me dry, is there no one‘ is about hail, though hawking does take place there, so the poem does sounds slightly charming [sukoshi okashiku kikoyu]. Both Left and Right use utsu no yama and katano no mino, respectively, unnecessarily – anywhere would have done as well. Both poems are equal for this reason.’