tsukikage o matsu to oshimu to aki no yo wa futatabi yama no ha koso tsurakere
Moonlight A’waiting brings regret On autumn nights— Twice the mountains’ Edge do I hate so!
Sadanaga 63
Right
吹きはらふ月のあたりの雲みれば春はいとひし風ぞうれしき
fukiharau tsuki no atari no kumo mireba haru wa itoishi kaze zo ureshiki
Blown away From round the moon The clouds I see, so Hated in spring The wind fills me with joy!
Koreyuki 64
The Right seems to be saying that clouds are blown away from round the moon, so it sounds as if the diction is reversed. Overall, it lacks soul. While the Left has an archaic conception, it should win.
yama no ha ni ariake no tsuki no nokorazu wa kasumi ni akuru sora o mimashi ya
Upon the mountains’ edge Had the moon at dawn Not lingered, then On the brightening, hazy Sky would I have turned my gaze?
Shō 11
Right
朝戸あけてながめなれたる明ぼのの霞ばかりに春を知るかな
asa to akete nagamenaretaru akebono no kasumi baraki ni haru o shiru kana
With morn, opening my door, and Accustomed to gazing At the dawn The haze is all that Tells me ‘tis spring![1]
Nagatsuna, Ranked without Office 12
The Left’s poem has ‘would I wish to see the skies brightening with haze’, which does not seem bad, but the initial line drop ‘dawn’ and the latter part ‘brightening with haze’ which is a bit dubious; the Right’s poem really has nothing special about it. The poems are comparable and tie.
