tsure mo naki hito ni miseba ya hanasusuki uranaku kaze ni nabiku keshiki o
To that cruel Girl would I show The flowering silver grass, In the artless wind Inclining…
Lord Masakane, Controller and Head Chamberlain 27
Right
くる人も絶えぬる宿の糸すすきほに出て誰を招くなるらん
kuru hito mo taenuru yado no itosusuki ho ni idete tare o maneku naruran
His visits have Ceased to this house, so The slender silver grass Bursting into bud—who Might it be beckoning?
Tadasue 28
The Left’s poem, up to ‘would I show’ is poetic, but I do not feel that the expression ‘In the artless wind / Inclining’ is elegant. For the topic of love, it seems to me that both the beginning and the end of the poem is a slight case of ‘As a bamboo stalk / Has joints, from years gone by old-fashioned phrases’ lingering! The Right’s ‘Ceased to this house, so / The slender silver grass’ lacks anything remarkable about it, and seems excessively overgrown, so it’s impossible to decide on anyone as the winner or loser here.
kimi ya aranu wa ga mi ya aranu obotsukana tanomeshi koto no mina kawarinuru
Aren’t you who you once were? Aren’t I who I was then? How strange that All we trusted in Has changed.
Shun’e 57
Right
恋ひしなん命ぞをしきつれもなき人にしも身をかへんねたさに
koishinan inochi zo oshiki tsure mo naki hito ni shimo mi o kaen netasa ni
That I would die of love Makes me regret my life! But for that cruel Girl should I Exchange myself—exasperating!
Yorisuke
58
I feel the left is old-fashioned, isn’t it? And yet, it is not without feeling. The Right does not have a poor conception, but its diction is insufficient.
koishinan inochi o tare ni yuzuri’okite tsurenaki hito no hate o misemashi
Likely dying of love, My life, to whom should I Consign? That cruel girl’s Ending—would that show it to her?
Shun’e
51
Right (Win)
つれもなき人はおもひもすてられでうき身のみこそなげまほしけれ
tsure mo naki hito wa omoi mo suterarede ukimi no mi koso nagemahoshikere
So cruel is That girl, but my passion for her I cannot abandon; It is my pitiful self that I would wish to throw away!
Kenshō
52
The Left isn’t bad, but it’s a bit cliched. As for the Right, having both ‘abandon’ and ‘throw away’ could be a fault and yet the conception of one ‘abandoning passion’ is different. Whichever way you look at it, it wins.
