Topic unknown.
さざなみや志賀のからさき風さえてひらのたかねに霰ふるなり
| sazanami ya shiga no karasaki kaze saete hira no takane ni arare furunari | Wavelets wash Karasaki in Shiga, and The wind is chill, so On the high peaks of Hira The hail must be falling. |
The Hosshōji Lay Priest, former Chancellor and Palace Minister [Fujiwara no Tadamichi]
A poem composed by Prince Naga, on the occasion of a visit to the Naniwa Palace in Kyōun 3 [707].
霰打 安良礼松原 住吉之 弟日娘与 見礼常不飽香聞
霰打つ安良礼松原住吉の弟日娘女と見れど飽かぬかも
| arare utu ararematubara sumiyosi no otoiwotome to miredo akanu kamo | Hail strikes Ararematsubara In Sumiyoshi A pleasure girl I see, yet cannot get my fill. |
Prince Naga (?-715)
長皇子
Left.
椎柴は冬こそ人に知られけれ言問ふ霰殘す木枯
| shiishba wa fuyu koso hito ni shirarekere koto tou arare nokosu kogarashi |
The brushwood, That ‘tis winter to folk Does tell; Hail raising cries from leave Left by the freezing winds. |
575
Right (Win).
深山邊を夕越え來れば椎柴の末葉に傳ふ玉霰哉
| fukayamabe yū koekureba shiishiba no ureba ni tsutau tama arare kana |
Just on the edge of mountain deeps, When evening has passed by, The brushwood’s Leaf-tips display Gemstone hail! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
576
The Right state that the final section of the Left’s poem is ‘fierce’ [arashi]. The Left state that the Right’s ‘gemstone hail’ (tama arare) ‘sounds poor’ [kikiyokarazu].
Shunzei’s judgement: The Gentlemen of the Right have stated that the final section of the Left’s poem is ‘fierce’ – how can they say this? I would say that it appears perfectly pleasant [yoroshiku koso miehabere, ikaga]. However, the Right’s ‘when evening has passed by’ (yū koekureba) and ‘leaf-tips’ (ureba) seem a rather overblown style to me [kotogotoshiki fūtei ni miehaberi]. ‘Gemstone’ (tama), though, in addition to being a word used to praise something, is used in conjunction with ‘hail’, in ‘the echoes are chill as pearls falling one by one from a dragon’s jaw’ . There is nothing to criticise about it. Thus, the Right should win.
Left (Win).
吉野山篠の假寢に霜冴えて松風早し深ぬ此夜は
| yoshinoyama suzu no karine ni shimo saete matsukaze hayashi fukenu kono yo wa |
Upon Mt Yoshino, In fitful sleep upon a bed of bamboo, The frost falls chill, indeed, and The wind gusts through the pines, With the fall of night. |
559
Right.
外山なる柴の編戸は風過て霰横ぎる松の音かな
| toyamanaru shiba no amido wa kaze sugite arare yokogiru matsu no oto kana |
On the mountains’ edge My woven brushwood door Is pierced by the wind; Hearing hail blown horizontal Against the pines… |
560
Both Left and Right are exaggerated in their insistence that the other’s poem lacks any faults.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘Upon Mt Yoshino, in fitful sleep upon a bed of bamboo’ (yoshinoyama suzu no karine ni) would seem to suggest an ascetic who, having travelled into the mountains, has made himself a hut from bamboo and pillowed upon the tree roots, would it not? But here he seems to have simply cut them down, spread them out and lain upon them! In addition, ‘The wind gusts through the pines’ (matsukaze hayashi) fails to sound elegant [yū ni shi kikoezaru]. The Right, by starting with ‘On the mountains’ edge’ (toyamanaru), suggests that the poet is speaking of his own dwelling’s door in the mountains. ‘Hearing hail blown horizontal against the pines’ (arare yokogiru matsu no oto) also just does not sound appropriate. Both poems have an exaggerated feeling [kotogotoshikaran to wa kokorozashite], and I cannot grasp who they are referring to. However, the Left’s poem is, still, somewhat superior.
Left (Win).
朝夕の音は時雨のならしばにいつ降りかはる霰なるらん
| asa yū no oto wa shigure no narashiba ni itsu furikawaru arare naruran |
Morn and night The sound of rain upon Oaken boughs; When, I wonder, did it change To hail? |
85
Right
霰降しづがさゝ屋のそよさらに一夜ばかりの夢をやは見る
| arare furi shizu ga sasaya no soyo sara ni hito yo bakari no yume o ya wa miru |
Hailstones fall Upon my mean bamboo roof; Will I, at least, Briefly this night Catch a glimpse of dreams? |
86