Tag Archives: hair

Love V: 10

Left (Tie).
年を經て遂に逢べき中ならば齢ばかりを歎かざらまし

toshi o hete
tsui ni aubeki
naka naraba
yowai bakari o
nagekazaramashi
If the years go by, and
Finally, that we meet
Should come to pass,
Just our youth
Should not be a source of grief!

Lord Suetsune.
859

Right.
比べ來し振分髪のそのかみも終の思やなを遊びけん

kurabekoshi
furiwakegami no
sono kami mo
tsui no omoi ya
nao asobiken
We did match
Our hair, bunched on either side:
Back then,
That, at last, our passions would
Join – I wonder, did we know it?

Nobusada.
860

The Right state: the conception of youth is lacking. The Left state: the initial part simply resembles the original poem.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, from beginning to end, uses nothing but commonplace diction. The Right’s poem, too, really says nothing beyond the sense of its origin poem. The poems are of the same quality.

 

Love IV: 30

Left (Win).
見し人のねくたれ髪の面影に涙かきやる小夜の手枕

mishi hito no
nekutare kami no
omokage ni
namida kakiyaru
sayo no tamakura
One I once loved:
Her sleep-tangled hair
Comes to mind, and
My tears drop upon
My pillowed arm this night.

A Servant Girl.
839

Right.
見せばやな夜床に積もる塵をのみあらましごとに拂ふ氣色を

miseba ya na
yodoko ni tsumoru
chiri o nomi
aramashi goto ni
harau keshiki o
Hoping to see him,
From my bed the piled
Dust at least,
Wishing it would be,
Sweeping away – that’s me!

Nobusada.
838

Left and Right both state there are no faults to indicate.

In judgement: even though both the Left’s ‘pillowed arm this night’ (sayo no tamakura) and the Right’s ‘dusty bed’ (yodoko no chiri) are elegant, the combination of ‘my tears drop upon my pillowed arm this night’ (namida kakiyaru sayo no tamakura) is particularly moving. The Left should win.