Lingering Cold
春風の猶さむしろをかさねばやたびの夜床はさえもこそすれ
| harukaze no nao samushiro o kasaneba ya tabi no yodoko wa sae mo koso sure | The spring wind is Yet so cold, threadbare blankets Might I lay on My journey-bed, but Feel the chill all the more! |
Kanemasa
Tag Archives: harukaze
Spring III: 30
Left (Tie).
吉野山花の故郷跡たえてむなしき枝に春風ぞ吹く
| yoshino yama hana no furusato ato taete munashiki eda ni haru kaze zo fuku |
Upon Mount Yoshino – The home of blossom – Footprints fade away; Now purposeless, the branches, Shudder in the winds of spring. |
179
Right (Tie).
山の端ににほひし花の雲消えて春の日數は有明の月
| yama no ha ni nioishi hana no kumo kiete haru no hikazu wa ariake no tsuki |
Along the mountains’ edge The glow of blossom Clouds has faded; The numbered days of Spring, Revealed by the dawntime moon. |
180
Both teams proclaim themselves moved by the other’s poem.
Shunzei, however, has this to say. ‘The Left’s poem contains “purposeless, the branches, shudder in the winds of spring” (munashiki eda ni harukaze zo fuku), and despite the fact that poems on Mount Yoshino have a somewhat old-fashioned air, and that one might wonder on which peaks it is such clouds of blossom remain, even these moss-covered sleeves have become thoroughly soaked with tears at the thought that the Way of poetry has not reached its end; the Right’s poem has “The numbered days of Spring, revealed by the dawntime moon” (haru no hikazu wa ariake no tsuki), and this has moved even this old heart to thoughts of such a dawning sky, so it is impossible to distinguish between the two in quality. Of old, Spring poems had style, indeed, and to think that such form and spirit still combine to torment the soul is something for which I am thoroughly grateful. Truly, these moss-covered sleeves have been drenched by both Left and Right!’
Spring III: 8
Left.
花散れば道やはよけぬ志賀の山うたて木ずゑを越ゆる春風
| hana chireba michi ya wa yokenu shiga no yama utate kozue o koyuru haru kaze |
The blossom will fall, so Will you not avoid the path Across the Shiga Mountains? Heartlessly, the treetops, Brushing, O, springtime breeze! |
135
Right (Win).
さそはれて志賀の山路を越えぬれば散りゆく花ぞしるべなりける
| sasowarete shiga no yamaji o koenureba chiriyuku hana zo shirube narikeru |
Invited Shiga Mountains’ path To cross, The scattering blossoms Show the way. |
136
On the Left’s poem, the Right team state that ‘“will you not avoid” (yokenu) sounds poor.’ The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s work.
Shunzei agrees: ‘The terms “will you not avoid” and “heartlessly” (utate) seem quite unpleasant. Thus, the Right wins.’
Spring II: 22
Left (Win).
春來れば空に亂るゝいとゆふを一筋にやはありと頼まん
| haru kureba sora ni midaruru itoyū wo hito suji ni ya wa ari to tanoman |
When Spring is come, The sky is disarrayed by Heat haze, yet For it to be all that is – In that I cannot trust! |
103
Right.
春風のゝどかに吹けば青柳の枝もひとつに遊ぶ糸遊
| haru kaze no nodoka ni fukeba aoyanagi no eda mo hitotsu ni asobu itoyū |
When spring breezes Gently blow Fresh willow Fronds as one are Wavering hazes… |
104
Both teams find no particular faults with the other’s poems.
Shunzei, however, comments, ‘Both poems are excellent in appearance, but the Left has ‘The sky is disarrayed’ (sora ni midaruru). The Right is ‘Fresh willow fronds as one’ (aoyanagi no eda mo hitotsu ni asobu): does this not suggest that haze wavers only in the vicinity of willows? The Left must win.’
Spring I: 17
Left.
山川の氷のくさびうちとけて石にくだくる水の白波
| yamakawa no kōri no kusabi uchitokete ishi ni kudakuru mizu no shiranami |
The mountain stream’s Icy wedges Are melting; Broken on the rocks In white-capped waves of water. |
33
Right (Win).
春風に下ゆく浪の數見えて殘ともなき薄氷かな
| harukaze ni shita yuku nami no kazu miete nokoru tomonaki usukōri kana |
With the breath of spring, Flowing beneath, waves In numbers can be seen; Hardly any remains – just A coating of ice. |
34
Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.
Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’
Spring I: 14
Left (Tie).
氷ゐし水の白浪立かへり春風しるき池の面かな
| kōri i shimizu no shiranami tachikaeri harukaze shiruki ike no omo kana |
To the iced Clear waters waves of white Return again; Spring’s breezes well know This mere’s face. |
27
Right (Tie).
諏方の海の氷のうへの通ひ路はけさ吹く風に跡絶えにけり
| suwa no umi no kōri no ue no kayoiji wa kesa fuku kaze ni ato taenikeri |
At the Sea of Suwa Upon the ice The trackways, With the breath of wind this morning Have left no trace at all… |
The Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
28
The Right team state that the concluding line of the Left’s poem, ‘this mere’s face’ (ike no omo kana) is ‘weak’. The Left team reply that the first three lines of the Right’s poem are identical to those of a poem by Minamoto no Akinaka (1064-1138), in the Hundred Poem Sequence from the Reign of Former Emperor Horikawa (a sequence composed by a number of poets between 1104-07 and presented to Horikawa):
諏方の海の氷のうへの通ひ路は神の渡りて解くるなりけり
| suFa no umi no koFori no uFe no kayoFidi Fa kami no watarite tokuru narikeri |
At the Sea of Suwa Upon the ice The trackways, With the passage of the God Have melted. |
and that this gave the poem its idea.
Shunzei comments that ‘waters waves of white/Return again’ is a ‘well-worn’ image with nothing special about it, and the Right team have already identified the weakness of the final line, and, of course, it ‘could not be as strong as a Deva King!’ As for the Right’s poem, he accepts the point made by the Left, but as it is not well-known that even in Hundred Poem sequences there are examples which are not ‘excellent work’, it is difficult to completely avoid composing poems with conceptions that resemble them. Thus, the round has to be a tie.