Left and Right together state: we find no faults to mention.
In judgement: While there are such things in the heart of the mountains as ‘crags where seeds grow into pines’ (tane aru iwa ni ouru matsu), it is normally by the sea or on rocky coastlines that one finds firmly rooted pine trees. Surely, mountain pines are but lightly rooted? Cedars on River Hatsuse recollects ‘Nor will I ever; a solid brick-kiln’ (wasurezu yo kawaraya), but ‘You vowed it, did you not’ (chigirikina) also reminds me of the old phrase ‘Both our sleeves wringing out’ (katami ni sode o shiboritsutsu), which is most fine. Thus, the Right wins.
Composed on the conception of love that is unrequited despite one’s prayers, when composing ten poems on love at the residence of Supernumerary Middle Councillor Toshitada.
うかりける人を初瀬の山颪よはけしかれとはいのらぬものを
ukarikeru
Fito wo Fatuse no
yama’orosi
yo Fagesikare to Fa
inoranu mono wo
A heartless
Woman is as Hatsuse’s
Mountain winds,
Raging in the night, they say, and
As unmoved by prayer…
FatusegaFa
FurukaFa no Fe ni
Futamoto aru sugi
tosi o Fete
mata aFimimu
Futamoto aru sugi
The River Hatsuse, and
River Furu: between their banks
Stand twin cedars;
The years go by, and
They will come together once more,
Twin cedars standing.
Both Left and Right state together that they are unable to find any words of praise.
In judgement: ‘River Hatsuse’ (hatsusegawa) and ‘many times I have proposed’ (iiwataru) are the only expressions with some conception of love, but they seem somewhat lacking, do they not? A form with ‘snow drifts’ (yuki furinitaru), having ‘sleeves strongly stained with tears’ (sode no namida wa iromeku) has a profound conception of love.
The Gentlemen of the Left and Right both state that they find no faults worth mentioning with the opposing poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: the style of both poems seems pleasant [fūtei wa yoroshiku miehaberu], but the conception contained in the Left’s poem is not fully expressed by its diction. The Right’s rotted sleeves should be ‘like the sacred grove’s boundary cord’ (mori no shimenawa no tameshi to ya), but the poet makes his own sleeves the focus. This reference to ‘sacred grove’s boundary cord’ also sounds somewhat impious. ‘The bell of Onoe’ should win.