Love
Left
あまぐもに鳴きわたるなる雁がねはおくれし秋や恋しかるらむ
| amagumo ni nakiwataru naru kari ga ne wa okureshi aki ya koishikaruramu | Through the heavens’ clouds Crying, crossing go The geese, their calls, Delayed, might autumn’s surfeit Make me yearn for you more? |
21
Right
わが心あやしかりけり秋果ててゆくとみるみるなほぞ恋しき
| wa ga kokoro ayashikarikeri aki hatete yuku to mirumiru nao zo koishiki | My heart Feels strange, indeed! Autumn’s done, and I ever watch it leave, yet Still I yearn so strongly… |
22
Round Two
Left
をちかたやくも井の山のほととぎすあまつよそにもなきわたるかな
| ochikata ya kumoi no yama no hototogisu ama tsu yoso ni mo nakiwataru kana | From the distant Mount within the clouds A cuckoo In yonder heavens Sings his song! |
Lord Saburō
17
Right
ほととぎすしのだのもりのしのびねをたづねざりせばいかできかまし
| hototogisu shinoda no mori no shinobine o tazunezariseba ikade kikamashi | A cuckoo In Shinoda’s sacred grove Lets out a hushed cry; Had I not come to visit here, How might I have heard it? |
Ushigimi
18
In regards the poem of the Left’s ‘from the distant’ and what follows, extremely recently and colloquially, at the Nakatomi purification ceremony it seems there was a composition, ‘in the distance, below the trees so lush’. This diction is contrary to the expected style of waka and something which occurs only extremely rarely. Truly, one does not compose using such diction in a poetry match. The poem of the Right has nothing of interest about it, yet it also lack faults to mention, so it wins.
This round, neither poem appears bad. The Left has a novel style, while the Right seems cliched, but its expression is smooth. I wonder if we could see these as a tie.
Round Twenty-Seven
Left (Tie)
高砂のすそ野の真萩露ふかし嶺の秋風ふかずもあらなむ
| takasago no susono no ma’hagi tsuyu fukashi mine no akikaze fukazu mo aranamu | On Takasago’s Slopes the fair bush clover is Deep in dew— O, that the autumn winds from the peak Would fail to blow… |
The Supernumerary Major Counsellor
53
Right
久かたの天とぶかりの涙さへおちてみだるる萩のうは露
| hisakata no ama tobu kari no namida sae ochite midaruru hagi no uwazuyu | From the eternal Heavens flying, even the goose Tears Drop in confusion Overlaying the dew upon the bush clover.[1] |
Nobunari
54
Both Left and Right seem particularly pleasant. Thus, they tie.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. なきわたるかりの涙やおちつらむ物思ふやどの萩のうへのつゆ nakiwataru / kari no namida ya / ochitsuran / mono’omou yado no / hagi no ue no tsuyu ‘Calling across / Did the geese let tears / Fall? / My dwelling, lost in thought, / Has dew upon the bush clover.’ Anonymous (KKS IV: 221)
Round Twenty-Two
Left
いなむしろしきつのうらのまつかぜはもりくるをりぞしぐれともしる
| inamushiro shikitsu no ura no matsukaze wa morikuru ori zo shigure to mo shiru | A straw mat spread At Shikitsu Bay, where when On the wind through the pines Come dripping droplets I know a shower is falling! |
Lord Kiyosuke
93
Right (Win)
おほぞらもみやこのかたをしのぶらしこよひはことにうちしぐれつつ
| ōzora mo miyako no kata o shinoburashi koyoi wa koto ni uchishiguretsutsu | The heavens, too, Of the capital Think fondly, it seems, For tonight is especially Filled with constant showers… |
Lord Sanetsuna
94
The poem of the Left appears to have a pleasant conception, blending showers with the wind through the pines and saying, ‘Come dripping droplets / I know a shower is falling!’, but it appears that the straw mat has only been spread because of the reference to Shikitsu [spreading] Bay. Considering the actual nature of a straw mat, however, I do not feel that the sense links with Shikitsu Bay, although it would be charming if sleeping on a journey in the shade of the willows beside a river, or even in a hut among the rice-fields. I do not feel it is appropriate to spread a straw mat beneath the pines at Sumiyoshi. In addition, it is only the straw mat here which has the conception of a journey—how should one feel about that? The configuration of the Right’s poem, beginning with ‘The heavens, too’ and following with ‘Of the capital / Think fondly, it seems’, I would say is a poem for a poetry match. While a counter-argument has been made about the Left’s poem, it’s really asking for the impossible, isn’t it. So, I impose victory for the Right.
Round Seven
Left (Tie)
あまつほしありともみえぬ秋のよの月はすずしき光なりけり
| ama tsu hoshi ari tomo mienu aki no yo no tsuki wa suzushiki hikari narikeri | Stars in the heavens Appear there to be none on An autumn night when The moon a cool Light sheds. |
Kojijū
61
Right
さ夜ふくる空にきえゆく浮雲の名残もみえぬ秋のよの月
| sayo fukuru sora ni kieyuku ukigumo no nagori mo mienu aki no yo no tsuki | As brief night wears on Vanishing from the skies are The drifting clouds, Leaving no keepsake for The moon this autumn night. |
Moromitsu
62
The Left, in addition to suffering from the Tree-Bank fault,[1] compounds this by adding a further line so all the first three lines begin with the same sound. This has been noted as a fault in earlier poetry matches. The Right, too, mentions ‘night’ twice and this is a significant fault, but I am unable to grasp the sense of the Left’s poem, so it’s difficult to make a judgement between them.
[1] Ganjubyō 岸樹病 (‘Tree-Bank fault’): this was one of the four poetic faults identified in the poetic treatise Waka sakushiki 倭歌作式 (‘Code of Creation of Japanese Poetry’), attributed to Kisen 喜撰 (fl. 810-824), hence the treatise’s alternative title of Kisenshiki 喜撰式 (‘Kisen’s Selected Codes’). This attribution is widely believed to be spurious, however, and that the work was probably written in the mid-Heian period. Ganjubyō refers to beginning the first and second ‘lines’ of a waka with the same syllable, in this case ‘a’.
Moon
Round One
Left (Tie)
月きよみながむる人の心さへ雲井にすめる秋の夜はかな
| tsuki kiyomi nagamuru hito no kokoro sae kumoi ni sumeru aki no yowa kana | The moon, so pure, that Gazing folk feel Their very hearts Clearly in the heavens On an autumn midnight! |
Lord Shige’ie
49
Right
のこるべきかきねの雪は先消えてほかはつもるとみゆる月かな
| nokorubeki kakine no yuki wa mazu kiete hoka wa tsumoru to miyuru tsuki kana | It should be lingering On my brushwood fence, but the snow First vanishes, then Piling up elsewhere Appears moonlight! |
Lord Yorimasa
50
The Left seems extremely commonplace, and simply ending ‘autumn midnight’ feels incomplete. As for the Right, what does it mean to say that ‘the snow upon my brushwood fence first vanishes’? Might it mean that because of the fence’s shadow, the moon’s light cannot be seen? It really sounds as if the poet has gone too far in his quest for unusual expressions. Then there’s ‘piling up elsewhere’ along with ‘autumn midnight’—neither of these sound superior, so it’s impossible to say which poem is.
Among the courtiers in service to His Majesty, former Emperor Uda, it was possible to pick out those who had some sensitivity and those who did not, so in a certain year, when the kōshin rite came around on the 7th day of the Seventh Month, those gentlemen who were thought to have this sensitivity spent the day composing poems on the topic of ‘feelings after meeting at Tanabata’ which were divided into teams and matched.
Left
としごとにこりずやあるらんたなばたのあひてこひしきわかれのみする
| toshigoto ni korizu ya aruran tanabata no aite koishiki wakare nomi suru | Every single year Does she never learn, I wonder? The Weaver Maid Meets and then with love Does simply part. |
1
Right (Win)
おもひやる心のそらにしらるればたなばたつめのわかれかなしな
| omoiyaru kokoro no sora ni shirarureba tanabatatsume no wakare kanashiki | Yearning fills The heavens of her heart— How well she knows it, for The Weaver Maid’s Parting is so sad. |
2
Round Eleven
Left
しら雲の朝たつ山のからにしき枝に一むら春風ぞ吹く
| shirakumo no asa tatsu yama no karanishiki eda ni hito mura harukaze zo fuku | Clouds of white Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade In a single bunch upon the branch Blown by the breeze of spring! [1] |
Supernumerary Major Counsellor Moto’ie
21
Right (Win)
かづらきや嶺の桜のさきしより心の空にかかるしら雲
| kazuragi ya mine no sakura no sakishi yori kokoro no sora ni kakaru shirakumo | Upon Kazuragi Peak, the cherries Have bloomed and ever since The heavens of my heart are Draped with clouds of white. |
Lord Nobunari
22
The Left’s poem has ‘Arising with the morning on the mountain: Cathay brocade in a single bunch upon the branch’ and, while it mentions spring breezes in its final section and does not fail to reflect the surface appearance of its source poem, conveys a feeling of scarlet leaves without mentioning blossom or cherry, which I have to say is something of a fault. The Right’s poem does not seem poor and lacks any faults worth mentioning, so it should win.
[1] An allusive variation on SIS IV: 220.
Left
おほぞらの心ぞまどふめにみえてわかるる秋ををしむわがみは
| ōzora no kokoro zo madou me ni miete wakaruru aki o oshimu wa ga mi wa | The heavens’ Heart lies confused Before my eyes; Departing autumn Leaves me with with nothing but regret. |
37
Right
とどむれどとまらぬ秋ををしむとて心にはかるなをやたちなん
| todomuredo tomaranu aki o oshimu tote kokoro ni wa karu na o ya tachinan | I would have it linger, yet It will not—autumn, I regret so Within my heart, briefly Should I call it that? |
38
