Tag Archives: heavens

Kinkai wakashū 605

I sent this to the residence of someone, who had gone to a distant province, when they had said they’d return around the Eighth Month and there had been no sign of them by the Ninth.

こむとしもたのめぬうはの空にだに秋風ふけばかりはきにけり

komu to shimo
tanomenu uwa no
sora ni dani
akikaze fukeba
kari wa kinikeri
That they would come, even I
Do not expect of the heights of
The heavens, but
When the autumn wind has blown,
The geese have arrived.[i]

605


[i] See: Love carried on the wind. きくやいかにうはのそらなる風だにもまつにおとするならひありとは kiku ya ika ni / uwa no sora naru / kaze dani mo / matsu ni otosuru / narai ari to wa ‘Do you hear it? Well? / From the heavens’ heights / Even the wind, / To come whispering among the pines / Has grown accustomed.’ Kunaikyō (Shinkokinshū XIII: 1199); and: A poem from the poetry competition at Prince Koresada’s house. 秋風にはつかりがねぞきこゆなるたがたまづさをかけてきつらむ akikaze ni / hatsukari ga ne zo / kikoyunaru / ta ga tamazusa o / kaketekitsuran ‘On the autumn wind / Come the first goose cries. / I hear them; / Whose letters / Do they bring, I wonder?’ Ki no Tomonori (Kokinshū IV: 207)

Eien narabō uta’awase 31

Round Three

Left[i]

君が代は神にぞいのる住之江の松の千年をゆづれとおもへば

kimi ga yo wa
kami ni zo inoru
suminoe no
matsu no chitose o
yuzure to omoeba
My Lord’s reign:
To the gods I pray, that
Suminoe’s
Pines their thousand years
Pass on—that is my hope…

Retired from the World
61a

きみがへむやちよのかずはあめにますとよをかひめの神やしるらん

kimi ga hemu
yachiyo no kazu wa
ame ni masu
toyo’okahime no
kami ya shiruran
That my Lord will endure
The number of eight thousand ages—
Residing in the heavens,
The Goddess of the Eternal Hills,
The deity, knows well, no doubt!

Retired from the World
61b

Right (Win)

君がよはつきじとぞおもふ春の日の御笠の山にささむかぎりは

kimi ga yo wa
tsukiji to zo omou
haru no hi no
mikasa no yama ni
sasamu kagiri wa
My Lord’s reign
Will never fade, I feel!
While in spring the sun
Upon Mikasa Mountain
Shines down…

Senior Assistant Minister Past Lecturer
62

Both Left and Right have neither strengths nor weakness in their diction and sense, but I feel that ‘While in spring the sun / Upon Mikasa Mountain / Shines down’ is a bit more dependable at present than ‘Suminoe’s / Pines their thousand years’.

It is certainly not the case that there are no dubious elements about the Left’s poem. As ‘eight thousand ages’ is a definite number, what is it that the Goddess of the Eternal Hills is expected to know? If this is something in the deity’s hands, then it should be, ‘does not even know the number’. I’m sure the Goddess herself would ask what she’s expected to know. The Right seems stronger.


[i] There are different poems by Eien this round in different versions of the text of the contest. As can be inferred from the judgements, Mototoshi saw the first poem and Toshiyori the second. This strongly suggests that Mototoshi’s judgements were circulated before the text of the contest was submitted to Toshiyori, and Eien revised his poem this round as a result (Kubota et al. 2018, 308).

Eien narabō uta’awase 30

Round Two

Left (Win)

君がよはあまのいはとをいづるひのいくめぐりてふかずもしられず

kimi ga yo wa
ama no iwato o
izuru hi no
iku meguri chō
kazu mo shirarezu
My Lord’s reign:
Since from the stone door in the heavens
Emerged the sun,
‘How many circuits has she made?’, they ask—
A number quite unknown.

Lord Saburō
59

Right

みかさやまふもとのさとはあめのしたふるにおもひもあらじとぞ思ふ

mikasayama
fumoto no sato wa
ame no shita
furu ni omoi mo
araji to zo omou
At Mikasa Moutain’s
Foot, in a hamlet
‘neath the heavens
Passing time—painful thoughts
There I’d have not a one, I feel!

Ushigimi
60

The Left’s poem goes beyond the general flow of diction, containing mystery and depth. I have to say it is truly superior. While the Right’s poem has no faults to mention, it has yet to emerge from prosaic expression. Thus, the Left wins.

The ‘stone door in the heavens’ is that which the supreme sun-deity Amaterasu stood before and then entered. But when we’re talking about dawn breaking at the end of night, we say ‘gates of heaven’. Which of these two was did the poet have in mind, I wonder? If he was thinking of dawn breaking, then the usage is erroneous, but even if he did mean ‘stone door of the heavens’, then do we use this about the circuits of the sun? This is vague. In addition, the final ‘they ask’ is difficult to pronounce. As for the Right’s poem, ‘‘neath the heavens’ lacks emotion. The dual use of ‘thoughts’ and ‘feels’, as I have already remarked, is not an error, but does grate on the ears a bit.

Tsurayuki uta’awase 11

Love

Left

あまぐもに鳴きわたるなる雁がねはおくれし秋や恋しかるらむ

amagumo ni
nakiwataru naru
kari ga ne wa
okureshi aki ya
koishikaruramu
Through the heavens’ clouds
Crying, crossing go
The geese, their calls,
Delayed, might autumn’s surfeit
Make me yearn for you more?

21

Right

わが心あやしかりけり秋果ててゆくとみるみるなほぞ恋しき

wa ga kokoro
ayashikarikeri
aki hatete
yuku to mirumiru
nao zo koishiki
My heart
Feels strange, indeed!
Autumn’s done, and
I ever watch it leave, yet
Still I yearn so strongly…

22

Eien narabō uta’awase 09

Round Two

Left

をちかたやくも井の山のほととぎすあまつよそにもなきわたるかな

ochikata ya
kumoi no yama no
hototogisu
ama tsu yoso ni mo
nakiwataru kana
From the distant
Mount within the clouds
A cuckoo
In yonder heavens
Sings his song!

Lord Saburō
17

Right

ほととぎすしのだのもりのしのびねをたづねざりせばいかできかまし

hototogisu
shinoda no mori no
shinobine o
tazunezariseba
ikade kikamashi
A cuckoo
In Shinoda’s sacred grove
Lets out a hushed cry;
Had I not come to visit here,
How might I have heard it?

Ushigimi
18

In regards the poem of the Left’s ‘from the distant’ and what follows, extremely recently and colloquially, at the Nakatomi purification ceremony it seems there was a composition, ‘in the distance, below the trees so lush’. This diction is contrary to the expected style of waka and something which occurs only extremely rarely. Truly, one does not compose using such diction in a poetry match. The poem of the Right has nothing of interest about it, yet it also lack faults to mention, so it wins.

This round, neither poem appears bad. The Left has a novel style, while the Right seems cliched, but its expression is smooth. I wonder if we could see these as a tie.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 27

Round Twenty-Seven

Left (Tie)

高砂のすそ野の真萩露ふかし嶺の秋風ふかずもあらなむ

takasago no
susono no ma’hagi
tsuyu fukashi
mine no akikaze
fukazu mo aranamu
On Takasago’s
Slopes the fair bush clover is
Deep in dew—
O, that the autumn winds from the peak
Would fail to blow…

The Supernumerary Major Counsellor
53

Right

久かたの天とぶかりの涙さへおちてみだるる萩のうは露

hisakata no
ama tobu kari no
namida sae
ochite midaruru
hagi no uwazuyu
From the eternal
Heavens flying, even the goose
Tears
Drop in confusion
Overlaying the dew upon the bush clover.[1]

Nobunari
54

Both Left and Right seem particularly pleasant. Thus, they tie.


[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. なきわたるかりの涙やおちつらむ物思ふやどの萩のうへのつゆ nakiwataru / kari no namida ya / ochitsuran / mono’omou yado no / hagi no ue no tsuyu ‘Calling across / Did the geese let tears / Fall? / My dwelling, lost in thought, / Has dew upon the bush clover.’ Anonymous (KKS IV: 221)

Sumiyoshi-sha uta’awase kaō ni-nen 47

Round Twenty-Two

Left

いなむしろしきつのうらのまつかぜはもりくるをりぞしぐれともしる

inamushiro
shikitsu no ura no
matsukaze wa
morikuru ori zo
shigure to mo shiru
A straw mat spread
At Shikitsu Bay, where when
On the wind through the pines
Come dripping droplets
I know a shower is falling!

Lord Kiyosuke
93

Right (Win)

おほぞらもみやこのかたをしのぶらしこよひはことにうちしぐれつつ

ōzora mo
miyako no kata o
shinoburashi
koyoi wa koto ni
uchishiguretsutsu
The heavens, too,
Of the capital
Think fondly, it seems,
For tonight is especially
Filled with constant showers…

Lord Sanetsuna
94

The poem of the Left appears to have a pleasant conception, blending showers with the wind through the pines and saying, ‘Come dripping droplets / I know a shower is falling!’, but it appears that the straw mat has only been spread because of the reference to Shikitsu [spreading] Bay. Considering the actual nature of a straw mat, however, I do not feel that the sense links with Shikitsu Bay, although it would be charming if sleeping on a journey in the shade of the willows beside a river, or even in a hut among the rice-fields. I do not feel it is appropriate to spread a straw mat beneath the pines at Sumiyoshi. In addition, it is only the straw mat here which has the conception of a journey—how should one feel about that? The configuration of the Right’s poem, beginning with ‘The heavens, too’ and following with ‘Of the capital / Think fondly, it seems’, I would say is a poem for a poetry match. While a counter-argument has been made about the Left’s poem, it’s really asking for the impossible, isn’t it. So, I impose victory for the Right.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 31

Round Seven

Left (Tie)

あまつほしありともみえぬ秋のよの月はすずしき光なりけり

ama tsu hoshi
ari tomo mienu
aki no yo no
tsuki wa suzushiki
hikari narikeri
Stars in the heavens
Appear there to be none on
An autumn night when
The moon a cool
Light sheds.

Kojijū
61

Right

さ夜ふくる空にきえゆく浮雲の名残もみえぬ秋のよの月

sayo fukuru
sora ni kieyuku
ukigumo no
nagori mo mienu
aki no yo no tsuki
As brief night wears on
Vanishing from the skies are
The drifting clouds,
Leaving no keepsake for
The moon this autumn night.

Moromitsu
62

The Left, in addition to suffering from the Tree-Bank fault,[1] compounds this by adding a further line so all the first three lines begin with the same sound. This has been noted as a fault in earlier poetry matches. The Right, too, mentions ‘night’ twice and this is a significant fault, but I am unable to grasp the sense of the Left’s poem, so it’s difficult to make a judgement between them.


[1] Ganjubyō 岸樹病 (‘Tree-Bank fault’): this was one of the four poetic faults identified in the poetic treatise Waka sakushiki 倭歌作式 (‘Code of Creation of Japanese Poetry’), attributed to Kisen 喜撰 (fl. 810-824), hence the treatise’s alternative title of Kisenshiki 喜撰式 (‘Kisen’s Selected Codes’). This attribution is widely believed to be spurious, however, and that the work was probably written in the mid-Heian period. Ganjubyō refers to beginning the first and second ‘lines’ of a waka with the same syllable, in this case ‘a’.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 25

Moon

Round One

Left (Tie)

月きよみながむる人の心さへ雲井にすめる秋の夜はかな

tsuki kiyomi
nagamuru hito no
kokoro sae
kumoi ni sumeru
aki no yowa kana
The moon, so pure, that
Gazing folk feel
Their very hearts
Clearly in the heavens
On an autumn midnight!

Lord Shige’ie
49

Right

のこるべきかきねの雪は先消えてほかはつもるとみゆる月かな

nokorubeki
kakine no yuki wa
mazu kiete
hoka wa tsumoru to
miyuru tsuki kana
It should be lingering
On my brushwood fence, but the snow
First vanishes, then
Piling up elsewhere
Appears moonlight!

Lord Yorimasa
50

The Left seems extremely commonplace, and simply ending ‘autumn midnight’ feels incomplete. As for the Right, what does it mean to say that ‘the snow upon my brushwood fence first vanishes’? Might it mean that because of the fence’s shadow, the moon’s light cannot be seen? It really sounds as if the poet has gone too far in his quest for unusual expressions. Then there’s ‘piling up elsewhere’ along with ‘autumn midnight’—neither of these sound superior, so it’s impossible to say which poem is.