A poem from the Poetry Competition held in the reign of the Kanpyō Empress.
谷風にとくる氷のひまごとに打いづる波や春のはつ花
tanikaze ni
tokuru koFori no
Fimagoto ni
uti’iduru nami ya
Faru no FatuFana |
In the valley’s breezes
Does melt the ice, and
From every crack
Do burst waves – are these
The first blooms of spring? |
Minamoto no Masazumi
源当純
Love and Horse Hair.
隙もあらばをぐろに立てる青鷺のこまごまとこそ言はまほしけれ
Fima mo araba
woguro ni tateru
awosagi no
komagoma to koso
iFamahosikere |
Were there but space,
As perching on the paddy-ridges
Are the grey herons close
As the mounts ahead, in such detail
Would I tell you of my love. |
Minamoto no Toshiyori
源俊頼
Left.
來ぬ床は明る頼みもなき物をひまや白むと待ぞあやしき
konu toko wa
akuru tanomi mo
naki mono o
hima ya shiromu to
matsu zo ayashiki |
An unvisited bed,
Of light has
No hope, but
Brightening through my bedroom door
Is what I am awaiting – how strange… |
Lord Kanemune.
833
Right (Win).
頼めつゝ更けゆく夜半を歎きても鳥の音をやは待あかしつる
tanometsutsu
fukeyuku yowa o
nagekitemo
tori no ne o ya wa
matsu akashitsuru |
Time and again he’d say he’d come, and
Through the deepening night
I’d grieve, but
Is it now for the first bird call
That I have awaited the dawn? |
Lord Takanobu.
834
The Right state: ‘Unvisited bed’ (konu toko) sounds as if it is the bed doing the visiting. The Left state: we do not feel that the Right’s poem expresses its intended sense fully.
In judgement: I feel it sounds better to say that ‘through the deepening night’ (fukeyuku yowa) ‘is it now for the first bird call’ (tori no ne o ya wa) that one waits, rather than that one is in ‘an unvisited bed’ (konu toko) waiting for ‘brightening through my bedroom door’ (hima ya shiromu).
'Simply moving and elegant'