Tag Archives: hiru

Love IV: 15

Left.
歸りつる今朝こそあらめいかにこは干る間も知らぬ袖の氣色ぞ

kaeritsuru
kesa koso arame
ika ni ko wa
hiru ma mo shiranu
sode no keshiki zo
Having come home
This morning, I am certain,
Why is it that
A daytime dry moment is a stranger
To my sleeves?

Lord Kanemune.
809

Right.
をのづから暮れ行く空を待つ程も頼むことゝは夢路成けり

onozukara
kureyuku sora o
matsu hodo mo
tanomu koto to wa
yumeji narikeri
While I
For darkening skies
Do wait,
The only thing in which I can place my trust
Is the path of dreams.

Jakuren.
810

The Right state: we find no particular faults to mention. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of placing one’s trust in dreams during the daytime. Was he having a nap?

In judgement: the conception of the Left’s poem is well developed from beginning to end. The Right’s poem has an elegant configuration, but it is unacceptable to have the speaker napping. However, the Left’s ‘Why is it that’ (ika ni ko wa) is unsatisfactory style. I have to say the poems are equal and tie.

Love IV: 13

Left.
物思へばひま行く駒も忘られてくらす涙を先おさふらん

mono’omoeba
hima yuku koma mo
wasurarete
kurasu namida o
mazu osauran
Sunk in gloomy thought,
That the hours had flown so fast
I did forget;
First, the tears shadowing my sight
I should suppress…

A Servant Girl.
805

Right (Win).
人知れぬ戀忘れ貝拾ひかね塩の干る間も袖は濡れけり

hito shirenu
koi wasuregai
hiroikane
shio no hiru ma mo
sode wa nurekeri
Unknown to all is
My love, and a forgotten mussel shell
I could not find, so
Even when the beach is daytime dry
My sleeves are soaked.

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
806

The Right state: while ‘shadowed’ (kakikurasu) is a normal turn of phrase, we find ‘tears shadowing my sight’ (kurasu namida) to be unsatisfactory. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of using shio no hiru ma alone for a play on words with hiru.

In judgement: The Left’s ‘That the hours had flown so fast I did forget’ (hima yuku koma mo wasurarete) gives the impression that the conception of the poem ought to be of waiting for dusk, but ‘First, the tears shadowing my sight I should suppress’ (kurasu namida o mazu osauran) seems to be something entirely different. As for the Right’s ‘Even when the beach is daytime dry my sleeves are soaked’ (shio no hiru ma mo sode wa nurekeri), I ask you, how can you think daytime isn’t a part of the phrase? The Right must win.