Tag Archives: hue

Nishinomiya uta’awase 09

Round Nine

Left

忍びねを我が袖のみと思ひしを劣らざりけり萩の下露

shinobine o
wa ga sode nomi to
omoishi o
otorazarikeri
hagi no shitazuyu
Secretly
Upon my sleeves, alone,
I thought, but
‘Twas not lesser than
The dewfall ‘neath the bush clover.

Minor Captain Kin’nori, Fourth Rank
17

Right

色かはる萩の下葉の露けさは我が身のうへと成りにけるかな

iro kawaru
hagi no shitaba no
tsuyukesa wa
wa ga mi no ue to
narinikeru kana
A change of hue
To the bush clover’s underleaves
Drenched with dew—
Upon my sorry self
Has it befallen, too!

Tadasue, Senior Assistant Minister of the Sovereign’s Household
18

The image of the droplets of secretly wept upon the poet’s sleeves not being less than those of the dewdrops beneath the bush clover appears extremely charming and moving. In addition, the pain expressed by one’s sorry self being as dew-drenched as the bush clover’s underleaves—this has left my own sleeves, both left and right, seeming as soaked with dewdrops from the bush clover.

Entō ōn’uta’awase 28

Round Twenty-Eight

Left

故郷の萩の下葉も色づきぬ露のみふかき秋のうらみに

furusato no
hagi no shitaba mo
irozukinu
tsuyu nomi fukaki
aki no urami ni
In this old, familiar place
The bush clover’s underleaves, too,
Have changed their hue—
Only the dew is deep
As autumn’s misery…[1]

Dōchin
55

Right (Win)

白露の玉ぬきみだる萩が枝に涙かずそふ秋の夕暮

shiratsuyu no
tama nukimidaru
hagi ga e ni
namida kazusou
aki no yūgure
Silver dewdrop
Pearls are strung in tangles on
The bush clover’s branches—
Innumerable tears added
On an autumn evening…

Dharma Master Nyokan
56

Left and Right both have a refined style, yet the Right has a better tone and sounds elegant. Thus, it wins.


[1] An allusive variation on: 比日之 暁露丹 吾屋前之 芽子乃下葉者 色付尓家里 kono koro no / akatoki tsuyu ni / wa ga yado no / hagi no shitaba wa / irozukinikeri ‘Around thus time near / Dawn, the dewfall on / My dwelling’s / Bush clover underleaves / Has changed their hue!’ Anonymous (MYS X: 2182)

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 23

Round Eleven

Left (Both Judges – Tie)

こけのむす岩ねに残る八重ぎくはや千代さくとも君ぞみるべき

koke no musu
iwane ni nokoru
yaegiku wa
yachiyo saku tomo
kimi zo mirubeki
Choked with moss are
The crags where linger
Eightfold chrysanthemums:
E’en were they eight thousand ages a’bloom
My Lord would have beheld them, no doubt!

Lady Shinano
45

Right

霜がれに我ひとりとや白菊の色をかへても人にみすらん

shimogare ni
ware hitori to ya
shiragiku no
iro o kaetemo
hito ni misuran
‘Burned by frost
‘Tis me alone!’ thinks
A white chrysanthemum,
Changing hue
To show to folk, for sure.

Lord Tokimasa
46

Toshiyori states: I wonder if there is a poem as precedent for chrysanthemums lingering beneath moss-covered crags? If not, it’s a very crude expression. The ending of the poem is antiquated, too. As for the second poem ‘“Tis me alone!” thinks’ does not sound satisfactory. The assembled company settled the matter of the final ‘folk’, so I must make this a tie.

Mototoshi states: whether they are placed by a brushwood fence, or at the base of a crag, chrysanthemums feel like pines. As for the Right, having a chrysanthemum seem to think ‘‘tis me alone’ is speculative—had it been something like ‘this bloom opens’ then it would have been the poet’s thoughts. Neither of these is of quality to win or lose, so I make them a tie.

Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 12

Round Twelve

Left (T – Win)

柞原紅ふかく染めてけり時雨の雨はいろなけれども

hahasowara
kurenai fukaku
sometekeri
shigure no ame wa
iro nakeredomo
The oak groves
Deeply scarlet
Have been dyed,
Though the rain shower
Lacks any hue at all…

Lord Shigemoto
23

Right (M – Win)

山里はならのから葉の散敷きてしぐれの音もはげしかりけり

yamazato wa
nara no karaba no
chirishikite
shigure no oto mo
hageshikarikeri
My mountain retreat has
The oaks’ withered leaves
Scattered and spread around, so
The sound of showers is all
The more severe.

Lord Tamezane
24

Toshiyori states: the ‘oak grove’ poem, saying that plants fade and autumn leaves are dyed by things like dew and frost is as unremarkable as saying that one’s sweetheart’s skirt trails down. The ‘mountain retreat’ poem has ‘the oaks’ withered leaves’ and this is problematic. It would certainly have been better to avoid using ‘withered leaves’. In addition, I wonder about saying ‘the sound of showers is severe’? I feel it would be better to use this when looking down on the stony valley gate from the high peak of Mount Arachi. The first poem is slightly superior.

Mototoshi states; the poems of Left and Right are about the same quality, but the Left’s poem lacks a conception of showers and is entirely a poem on scarlet leaves, so in the current context ‘oaks’ withered leaves’ is slightly superior.

Daigo ōntoki kiku awase 12

おくしものかひもあるべくきくのはないろをましてもかれずもあるかな

oku shimo no
kai mo arubeku
kiku no hana
iro o mashite mo
karezu mo aru kana
The falling frost, too,
Has some point to it, for
The chrysanthemum blooms:
Have hues that, remarkably
Have not withered away!

Yoshitaka[1]
23

きくのはなをしむかひしていろこきはいくしほ霜のおきてそめしぞ

kiku no hana
oshimu kaishite
iro koki wa
iku shio shimo no
okite someshi zo
O, chrysanthemum blooms!
There is a point to my regret, for
Your depth of hue
By how many dippings in frost
Fall has been dyed?

Sukuru[2]
24


[1] Possibly Minamoto no Yoshitaka 源嘉生

[2] Possibly Minamoto no Suguru 源俊