Tag Archives: Ietaka

Love VI: 12

Left (Tie).
君がりと浮きぬる心まよふらん雲はいくへぞ空の通ひ路

kimigari to
ukinuru kokoro
mayouran
kumo wa iku e zo
sora no kayoiji
To your home
Drifts my heart
In seeming confusion;
How may layers must the clouds
Pass though on the heavenly paths?

A Servant Girl.
923

Right.
思やるながめも今は絶えぬとや心をうづむ夕暮の雲

omoiyaru
nagame mo ima wa
taenu to ya
kokoro o uzumu
yūgure no sora
Lost in thought
I gazed at you, but now
Is it that it’s done that
Buries my heart beneath
The evening skies?

Ietaka.
924

The Right state: we would have preferred it to have been ‘is it that my heart drifts?’ (ukinuru kokoro ya). The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks faults.

In judgement: the final sections of both poems seem fine. For strict correctness, the Left should have had ‘my drifting heart does seem confused’ (ukinuru kokoro wa mayourashi), but because this would not fit with the poem, he has left it as ‘in seeming confusion’ (mayouran). The poem is fine as it is, without introducing ‘is it that my heart’ (kokoro ya). I don’t know what to make of the expression ‘to your home’ (kimigari), but ‘how may layers must the clouds pass though on the heavenly paths?’ (kumo wa iku e zo sora no kayoiji) is charming. Then again, the Right’s ‘buries my heart beneath the evening skies?’ (kokoro o uzumu yūgure no sora) has a gentle beauty about it. Thus, the round should tie.

Love VI: 4

Left.
物思ふと月ゆへならで月を見て幾夜くもらぬ空もくもりぬ

mono’omou to
tsuki yue narade
tsuki o mite
ikuyo kumoranu
sora mo kumorinu
My gloomy thoughts
Are not for the moon;
The moon I saw
For many nights, unclouded,
The skies, now clouded.

Lord Ari’ie.
907

Right (Win).
いかにして殘る心のありければ人をうらみて月を見るらん

ika ni shite
nokoru kokoro no
arikereba
hito o uramite
tsuki o miruran
What is it that
In my heart remains
That
Hating her
I gaze upon the moon?

Ietaka.
908

The Right state: we find no faults to mention in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the Right’s poem is outstandingly good.

In judgement: it has been stated that the Left’s poem lacks faults, but having ‘Are not for the moon; the moon I saw’ (tsuki yue narade tsuki o mite), ‘unclouded’ (kumoranu) and then ‘clouded’ (kumorinu) is a superfluity of similar vocabulary, which is most disquieting. I wonder, too, the basis on which the Right’s poem can be judged outstandingly good? ‘In my heart remains that’ (nokoru kokoro no arikereba) sounds like a most unacceptable configuration, and overall, I am unable to grasp its meaning. Thus, I will judge according to the Gentlemen of the Left’s remarks, and make the Right the winner.

Love V: 27

Left (Tie).
思ひをく人ある身にはやがてこの旅の道こそ戀路なりけれ

omoi’oku
hito aru mi ni wa
yagate kono
tabi no michi koso
koiji narikere
Leaving behind one
In my thoughts, for me
All these
Roads I tread are but
The paths of love…

Lord Kanemune
893

Right.
變り行く涙の色ぞあはれなる草の枕の日數知られて

kawariyuku
namida no iro zo
awarenaru
kusa no makura no
hikazu shirarete
The shifting
Teardrops’ shades
Touch me deeply;
Pillowed on the grasses
And thinking on the days away…

Ietaka
894

Both Left and Right say together:   we can see no  faults to mention.

In judgement: the Left’s poem is charming in style. The conception of the Right’s  ‘teardrops’ shades’ (namida no iro) shifting is elegant, but  both poems seem to be simply lamenting that one has gone on a journey, and there is little conception of love in them. They are equivalent and the round should tie.

Love V: 23

Left (Tie).
隔てける籬の島のわりなきに住む甲斐なしや千賀の塩釜

hedatekeru
magaki no shima no
warinasa ni
sumu kai nashi ya
chika no shiogama
Barring our way is
The fence – Magaki Isle:
So unreasonable
That living close is pointless, as if
We were at Chika’s salt-kilns!

Kenshō
885

Right.
忍ぶ草竝ぶ軒端の夕暮に思ひをかはすさゝがにの糸

shinobugusa
narabu nokiba no
yūgure ni
omoi o kawasu
sasagani no ito
A weeping fern lies
Between our almost touching eaves;
In the evening
Love will pass
Along the spider’s thread.

Ietaka
886

The Right state: the Left’s ‘Magaki Isle’ (magaki no shima) and ‘Chika’s salt kiln’s’ (chika no shiogama) do not seem that nearby, do they? They only evoke closeness through wordplay. The Right state: we find no faults to indicated in the Left’s poem.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘Magaki Isle’ and ‘Chika’s salt kilns’, even if they are not that close, do not display a lack of technique in the conception of the current composition. I do wonder what to think about ‘so unreasonable’ (warinasa ni), though. The Right’s weeping ferns, with the spider’s behaviour transmitting the feelings of love, does not seem unreasonable either. This round, too, the poems are comparable and should tie.

Love V: 16

Left.
思ひこそ千島の奥を隔てねどえぞ通はさぬ壺の碑

omoi koso
chishima no oku o
hedatenedo
ezo kayowasanu
tsubo no ishibumi
My love
Has not the Thousand Islands
Barring it, yet
The barbarians cannot pass
The Stone at Tsubo – nor can I write to you!

Kenshō
871

Right (Win).
思ひやる心幾重の峰越えて信夫の奧を尋ね入るらん

omoiyaru
kokoro ikue no
mine koete
shinobu no oku o
tazuneiruran
Dwelling on you,
My heart numberless
Peaks will cross
To the depths of Shinobu,
Perhaps to visit someone hidden there?

Ietaka
872

As the previous round.

In judgement: the Left’s ‘Thousand Islands’ (chishima) is a familiar expression from the past, but I do not recall it being used in poetry. I am familiar with the Right’s ‘depths of Shinobu’ (shinobu no oku), so that is better. Again, the Right wins.

Love V: 12

Left (Win).
行く末の深き縁とぞ契つるまだ結ばれぬ淀の若菰

yukusue no
fukaki eni to zo
chigiritsuru
mada musubarenu
yodo no wakagomo
In the future,
A deep connection will we have,
You vowed,
Yet still no one has cupped
This young shoot of wild rice at Yodo.

A Servant Girl.
863

Right.
結ばんと契し人を忘れずやまだ影淺き井手の玉水

musuban to
chigirishi hito o
wasurezu ya
mada kage asaki
ide no tamamizu
That we would be joined
We swore, so
Will you not forget me?
The slight reflection left
In Ide’s jewelled waters…

Ietaka.
864

Both Left and Right state: there is no separation between man and woman.

In judgement: ‘Young shoot of wild rice at Yodo’ (yodo no wakagomo) and ‘Ide’s jewelled waters’ (ide no tamamizu) are both elegant in style, but the Left has pledged a more profound bond. The Right has ‘the slight reflection left’ (mada kage asaki) and the Left is a poem about a vow which has been made. The Right is just referring to events of the past. Thus, ‘depth’ should win.

Love V: 4

Left (Win).
君ゆへにいとふも悲し鐘の聲やがて我世もふけにし物を

kimi yue ni
itou mo kanashi
kane no koe
yagate wa ga yo mo
fukenishi mono o
For lack of you, I am
In sorrow and despite;
The tolling of the bell reveals
That so swiftly has my life
Reached its eventide…

A Servant Girl.
847

Right.
玉箒手にとる程も思きやかりにも戀を滋賀の山人

tamahōki
te ni toru hodo mo
omoiki ya
kari ni mo koi o
shiga no yamabito
A jewelled broom
I’ll take in hand now,
Could that have been my thought?
Briefly in love now as
The old man of Shiga Mountain!

Ietaka.
848

The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of ‘swiftly’ (yagate). The Left state: should one mention a monk in a poem about Love?

In judgement: the configuration of the Left’s ‘In sorrow and despite; the tolling of the bell’ (itou mo kanashi kane no koe) sounds pleasant, so ‘swiftly’ does not seem unsuited. The Left wins.