Tag Archives: Ietaka

Love VIII: 12

Left (Tie)
思ひかねうち寢る宵もありなまし吹だにすさめ庭の松風

omoikane
uchineru yoi mo
arinamashi
fuki dani susame
niwa no matsukaze
Unable to bear the pains of love, and
Dozing through the night –
That happens sometimes;
O, just blow gently,
Breeze through the garden pines!

A Servant Girl
1043

Right
思ひかねながむれば又夕日さす軒端の岡の松もうらめし

omoikane
nagamureba mata
yūhi sasu
nokiba no oka no
matsu mo urameshi
Unable to bear the pains of love,
When I gaze out, once more
The evening sun shines
Past my eaves, where on the hillside
Even the pines seem resentful…

Ietaka
1044

Same as the previous round.

In judgement: here we have ‘O, just blow gently’ (fuki dani susame), and the Right has ‘Past my eaves, where on the hillside’ (nokiba no oka no): these recollect the poems ‘in the depths of sleep I tread to you’ (uchinuru naka ni yukikayou) and ‘the beams strike the hillside through the pine needles’ (sasu ya okabe no  matsu no ha); both sound elegant. I make this round a tie.

Love VIII: 5

Left
人待ちし庭の淺茅生茂りあひて心にならす道芝の露

hito machishi
niwa no asajū
shigeriaite
kokoro ni narasu
michishiba no tsuyu
Awaiting him,
The cogon-grass in my garden
Has grown lush, indeed;
And I have taken to my heart
The dew that falls upon my lawn!

A Servant Girl
1029

Right (Win)
秋風になびく淺茅の色よりもかはるは人の心なりけり

akikaze ni
nabiku asaji no
iro yori mo
kawaru wa hito no
kokoro narikeri
With the autumn wind
Waves the cogon grass,
Colours
Changing less than her
Heart’s passions…

Ietaka
1030

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults to mention. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the intial part of the Right’s poem is derived from an old poem, and so does the end!

In judgement: I wonder whether the cogon-grass (asajū), mentioned initially, is as clearly conceived as the ‘lawn’ (michishiba) mentioned at the end? The Right’s poem refers to ‘So full are my thoughts,  what am I to do? With the autumn wind’, but reverses the beginning and end of that poem; it is extremely old-fashioned in style, but pleasant as it is plainly intended to be understood as a variant of its model. Thus, the Right wins over the combination of ‘cogon-grass’ and ‘lawn’.

Love VII: 29

Left.
葛城や久米路の橋にあらねども絶えぬる中は渡る物かは

kazuragi ya
kumeji no hashi ni
aranedomo
taenuru naka wa
wataru mono ka wa
At Kazuragi
The bridge of Kumeji
It is not, yet
Can a relationship that’s done
Ever continue on?

Lord Suetsune
1017

Right (Win).
葛城や渡しもはてぬ岩橋も夜の契はありとこそ聞け

kazuragi ya
watashi mo hatenu
iwabashi mo
yoru no chigiri wa
ari to koso kike
At Kazuragi lies
The unfinished
Bridge of stone:
A vow at night
There was, I hear!

Ietaka
1018

Both Left and Right state: we find no faults to mention.

In judgement: both poems refer to ‘the bridge of Kazuragi, while the Left has ‘a relationship that’s done’ (taenuru naka). As the bridge, from the very beginning, was never finished, it is not appropriate to say that it is ‘done’. ‘A vow at night’ (yoru no chigiri) seems to be referring to Kodaigimi’s ‘cannot endure’ (taenubeshi). The Right has certainly matched the conception of the bridge. Thus, I make the Right the winner.

Love VII: 22

Left (Tie).
先の世に契らざりける身の憂さや逢坂山の君が関守

saki no yo ni
chigirazarikeru
mi no usa ya
ausakayama no
kimi ga sekimori
In a previous life
We made no vow –
Is that why all’s so cruel?
On the Mount of Meeting Hill
Barrier wardens stand before you!

Lord Kanemune
1003

Right.
頼めてもまだ越えぬまは相坂の関も名こその心地こそすれ

tanometemo
mada koenu ma wa
ausaka no
seki mo na koso no
kokochi koso sure
However much I hope
While I have yet to cross
Meeting Hill’s
Barrier, of Nakoso does it
Just remind me!

Ietaka
1004

The Right state: we wonder about the use of ‘Barrier wardens stand before you’ (kimi ga sekimori). The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks any faults to indicate.

In judgement: both Left and Right’s ‘Meeting Hills’ lack faults or merits. Thus, the round ties.

Love VII: 17

Left.
人心さのみはいかゞ水無瀬川我には淺き契なるらむ

hito kokoro
sa nomi wa ikaga
minasegawa
ware ni wa asaki
chigiri naruramu
Her heart
Is just like it; why as
The Minase River
So shallow for me
Should her feelings be?

Lord Suetsune
993

Right (Win).
いかにして影をも見まし澤田河袖つくほどの契りなりとも

ika ni shite
kage o mo mimashi
sawadagawa
sode tsuku hodo no
chigiri naritomo
No matter what
I would see her face in
The River Sawada,
Even if my sleeves get drenched
By my feelings…

Ietaka.
994

Both Left and Right together state: there are no faults to indicate.

In judgement: using ‘the Minase River’ (minasegawa) preceded by ‘is just like it; why as’ (sa nomi wa ika ni) sounds charming in style, but ‘should her feelings be?’ (chigiri naruramu) means the end of the poem is a bit dry! ‘The River Sawada, even if my sleeves get drenched’ (sawadagawa sode tsuku hodo no) sounds pleasant. Thus, the Right wins.

Love VII: 10

Left (Tie).
雲井まで續きて見ゆわたつ海の行衛知られぬ物思かな

kumoi made
tsuzukite miyu
wata tsu umi no
yukue shirarenu
mono’omoi kana
Beyond the clouds
My gaze goes on and on;
The endless sea:
What lies beyond is unknown
As my gloomy thoughts…

Lord Suetsune.
979

Right.
伊勢の海の潮瀬にさはぐさざれ石の砕けて物を思ふ比かな

ise no umi no
shiose ni sawagu
sazare’ishi no
kudakete mono o
omou koro kana
The sea at Ise:
Raging rapids with the tides,
Where pebbles
Shatter, gloom
Filling my thoughts these days…

Ietaka.
980

The Right state: the Left’s poem is clichéd. The Left state: the Right’s poem is that of Shigeyuki.

In judgement: the Left’s poem is clichéd, but in addition to this uses ‘goes on and on’ (tsuzukite), which is not something one should say. The Right’s poem is, indeed, overly close to Shigeyuki’s, so both Left and Right poem are deficient and lacking in any element allowing a win.

Love VII: 2

Left.
我戀に深さくらへば外山哉吉野の奧の岩のかけ道

wa ga koi ni
fukasa kuraeba
toyama kana
yoshino no oku no
iwa no kakemichi
My love’s
Depth were you to measure,
Distant mountains, perhaps?
As in the heart of Yoshino, where
The craggy paths are overgrown!

Lord Ari’ie.
963

Right (Win).
ふみ見ても馴れぬけしきのつれなさや吉野の奧の岩のかけ道

fumi mitemo
narenu keshiki no
tsurenasa ya
yoshino no oku no
iwa no kakemichi
She read my letter – I treading on paths unknown –
And cared not – an unfamiliar scene –
Is her cruelty
As in the heart of Yoshino, where
The craggy paths are overgrown?

Ietaka.
964

The Right state: in the Left’s poem, the expression ‘distant mountains, perhaps’ (toyama kana) sounds poor. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to mention.

In judgement: both Left and Right have precisely identical sections: ‘as in the heart of Yoshino’ (yoshino no oku) and ‘craggy paths are overgrown’ (iwa no kakemichi), but considering the initial sections, it has already been stated that the Left’s sounds poor, while the Right lacks faults. Thus, in accordance with the remarks by the Gentlemen of both teams, the Right is the winner.

Love VI: 29

Left (Win).
忍びかね心の空に立つ煙見せばや富士の峰にまがへて

shinobikane
kokoro no sora ni
tatsu kemuri
miseba ya fuji no
mine ni magaete
I can bear no more:
Into the heavens of my heart
Smoke rises;
I would show her it is of Fuji’s
Peak an image!

A Servant Girl.
957

Right.
富士の嶺の煙も猶ぞ立のぼる上なき物は思ひなりけり

fuji no ne no
kemuri mo nao zo
tachinoboru
ue naki mono wa
omoi narikeri
The peak of Fuji:
Smoke yet
Rises there;
Higher than the highest is
My love.

Ietaka.
958

The Right state: we wonder about the meaning of ‘heavens of my heart’ (kokoro no sora). In reply, the Left: this is the same conception as the poem ‘into the heavens of my heart emerges the moon’. In reply, the Right: what is the point in using the smoke from Fuji as a metaphor? It seems as if the focus of the poem is the smoke. Furthermore, why have smoke rising in your heart without the smoke of passion? The Left state: the Right’s poem seems good.

In judgement: the Gentlemen of the competition seems to have sagaciously criticised the faults of the Left’s poem, but ‘I would show her it is of Fuji’s peak an image!’ (miseba ya fuji no mine ni magaete) is charming in configuration and diction. The Right’s poem, too, in the final section is elegant in configuration. However, I must make the Left the winner.

 

Love VI: 23

Left (Win).
さはらずは今宵ぞ君を頼むべき袖には雨の時わかねども

sawarazu wa
koyoi zo kimi o
tanomubeki
sode ni wa ame no
toki wakanedomo
If you were unhindered
On this night, then, my love,
In you I could trust;
But on my sleeves the rain
Falls without surcease…

Lord Sada’ie.
945

Right.
來ぬ人を待つ夜更け行秋の雨は袖にのみ降る心地こそすれ

konu hito o
matsu yo fukeyuku
aki no ame wa
sode ni nomi furu
kokochi koso sure
When a man who fails to come
Is awaited and the night grows late,
The autumn rain
Falls on my sleeves, alone –
That is what I feel!

Ietaka.
946

The Right state: the phrase ‘if you were unhindered’ (sawarazu wa) sounds poor. The Left state: the Right have simply composed a poem just like Lord Yorimasa’s君戀ふとながめあかせる夜の雨は袖にしも降る心地こそすれ kimi kou to / nagame akaseru / yoru no ame wa / sode ni shimo furu / kokochi koso sure ‘That you love me / I have heard enough / This night when the rain / Upon my sleeves especially does fall – / That is what I feel!’.

In judgement: the Left are said to have a poor-sounding phrase, and the Right to have referred to Yorimasa’s poem. That it is difficult to entirely avoid to referring poems outside of the anthologies is something which people still seem to be unable to remember, but the Gentlemen of the Left have recalled this well. The final section of the Right’s poem does bear an uncanny resemblance to Yorimasa’s poem. If there should be a prior example of a phrase’s use, then while it maybe poor-sounding, the Left should win.