石ばしる山下たぎつ山川の心砕けてこひやわたらむ
| ishibashiru yamashita tagitsu yamakawa no kokoro kudakete koi ya wataramu | Running o’er the rocks, and Rushing down the mountain goes A torrent— Shattering my heart, Will this love go on and on… |
449
Tag Archives: ishi
Kinkai wakashū 444
Eikyū hyakushu 517
Eikyū hyakushu 516
Stones 石
をしからでなげもやられぬ我が身こそちびきの石のたぐひなりけれ
| oshikarade nage mo yararenu wa ga mi koso chibiki no ishi no tagui narikere | With no regrets Inconstant not Am I: A stone a thousand might pull, That is how I am! |
Tadafusa
Eikyū hyakushu 515
Eikyū hyakushu 514
SZS XII: 760
Love V: 16
Left.
思ひこそ千島の奥を隔てねどえぞ通はさぬ壺の碑
| omoi koso chishima no oku o hedatenedo ezo kayowasanu tsubo no ishibumi |
My love Has not the Thousand Islands Barring it, yet The barbarians cannot pass The Stone at Tsubo – nor can I write to you! |
Kenshō
871
Right (Win).
思ひやる心幾重の峰越えて信夫の奧を尋ね入るらん
| omoiyaru kokoro ikue no mine koete shinobu no oku o tazuneiruran |
Dwelling on you, My heart numberless Peaks will cross To the depths of Shinobu, Perhaps to visit someone hidden there? |
Ietaka
872
As the previous round.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘Thousand Islands’ (chishima) is a familiar expression from the past, but I do not recall it being used in poetry. I am familiar with the Right’s ‘depths of Shinobu’ (shinobu no oku), so that is better. Again, the Right wins.
Spring I: 17
Left.
山川の氷のくさびうちとけて石にくだくる水の白波
| yamakawa no kōri no kusabi uchitokete ishi ni kudakuru mizu no shiranami |
The mountain stream’s Icy wedges Are melting; Broken on the rocks In white-capped waves of water. |
33
Right (Win).
春風に下ゆく浪の數見えて殘ともなき薄氷かな
| harukaze ni shita yuku nami no kazu miete nokoru tomonaki usukōri kana |
With the breath of spring, Flowing beneath, waves In numbers can be seen; Hardly any remains – just A coating of ice. |
34
Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.
Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’