Composed on the conception of Love and Stones.
我が袖は潮干に見えぬ沖の石の人こそ知らねかわく間ぞなき
wa ga sode Fa
siFoFi ni mienu
oki no isi no
Fito koso sirane
kaFaku ma zo naki |
My sleeves are
As unseen low-tide
Stones in the offing,
Unknown to all
They have not a moment dry. |
Sanuki, from the Nijō Palace
二条院讃岐
Left.
思ひこそ千島の奥を隔てねどえぞ通はさぬ壺の碑
omoi koso
chishima no oku o
hedatenedo
ezo kayowasanu
tsubo no ishibumi |
My love
Has not the Thousand Islands
Barring it, yet
The barbarians cannot pass
The Stone at Tsubo – nor can I write to you! |
Kenshō
871
Right (Win).
思ひやる心幾重の峰越えて信夫の奧を尋ね入るらん
omoiyaru
kokoro ikue no
mine koete
shinobu no oku o
tazuneiruran |
Dwelling on you,
My heart numberless
Peaks will cross
To the depths of Shinobu,
Perhaps to visit someone hidden there? |
Ietaka
872
As the previous round.
In judgement: the Left’s ‘Thousand Islands’ (chishima) is a familiar expression from the past, but I do not recall it being used in poetry. I am familiar with the Right’s ‘depths of Shinobu’ (shinobu no oku), so that is better. Again, the Right wins.
Left.
山川の氷のくさびうちとけて石にくだくる水の白波
yamakawa no
kōri no kusabi
uchitokete
ishi ni kudakuru
mizu no shiranami |
The mountain stream’s
Icy wedges
Are melting;
Broken on the rocks
In white-capped waves of water. |
Lord Ari’ie
33
Right (Win).
春風に下ゆく浪の數見えて殘ともなき薄氷かな
harukaze ni
shita yuku nami no
kazu miete
nokoru tomonaki
usukōri kana |
With the breath of spring,
Flowing beneath, waves
In numbers can be seen;
Hardly any remains – just
A coating of ice. |
Ietaka
34
Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.
Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’
'Simply moving and elegant'