Left (Win).
時分かぬ浪さへ色に泉川柞の杜に嵐吹らし
toki wakanu
nami sae iro ni
izumigawa
hahaso no mori ni
arashi fukurashi |
Ever unchanging,
Even the waves have coloured
On Izumi River;
In the oak groves
Have the wild winds blown. |
Lord Sada’ie.
443
Right.
秋深き岩田の小野の柞原下葉は草の露や染らん
aki fukaki
iwata no ono no
hahasowara
shitaba wa kusa no
tsuyu ya somuran |
Autumn’s deep at
Iwata-no-Ono
In the oak groves
Have the lower leaves by grass
Touched dewfall been dyed? |
Ietaka.
444
Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The total effect of the Left’s ‘even the waves have coloured on Izumi River’ (nami sae iro in izumigawa) is most superior [sugata wa yū narubeshi]. However, there does not appear to be any element linked to the final section’s ‘wild winds’ (arashi) in the initial part of the poem. The Right has ‘have the lower leaves by grass touched dewfall been dyed?’ (shitaba wa kusa no tsuyu ya somuran), without, in the initial section having an expression like ‘treetops stained by showers’ (kozue wa shigure somu), and I wonder about having the lower leaves on the trees touched by ‘dewfall on the grass’ (kusa no tsuyu). The Left’s ‘have the wild winds blown’ should win.
[One of] Three Poems by Lord Ujikai
山科の岩田の小野のははそ原見つゝか君が山路越ゆらむ
yamasina no
ipata no wono no
papasopara
mitutu ka kimi ga
yamadi koyuramu |
In Yamashina
At Iwata-no-Ono
Upon the oak groves
Gazing, my lord
Has crossed the mountain paths. |
Fujiwara no Ujikai (d. 738)
Left.
松陰にいかで時雨の漏りつらん岩本柞初紅葉せり
matsu kage ni
ikade shigure no
moritsuran
iwamoto hahaso
hatsu momijiseri |
Beneath the pine trees’ shade
Why has the shower
Drenched all?
The oak tree, at the crag-foot
Has its first scarlet leaf. |
Kenshō.
439
Right.
山科の岩田の小野に秋暮れて風に色ある柞原かな
yamashina no
iwata no ono ni
aki kurete
kaze ni iro aru
hahasowara kana |
In Yamashina
At Iwata-no-Ono
Autumn is almost done
Its hues are in the wind
Upon the oak groves. |
Lord Takanobu.
440
The Right ask whether the Left can cite a poem as a precedent for the expression ‘oak tree, at the crag-foot’ (iwamoto hahaso). The Left respond that they cannot bring one to mind immediately. However, ‘crag-foot’ is often used about a range of plants of various kinds. Thus, where is the fault in using it? The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: It is not particularly important whether there is a precedent for the Left’s use of ‘oak tree, at the crag-foot’ [shōka no yūmu ni oyobubekarazu]. The final section, ‘has its first scarlet leaf’(hatsu momijiseri), however, given that what comes before is a standard poem [tsune no uta], is somewhat over-explicit [niwaka ni kotogotoshiku haberumere]. The Right’s poem has nothing particular to say. Starting with ‘Yamashina’ sounds overly blunt [amari ni tashika ni kikoetaru]. In addition, the final section displays no deep thought [munen narubeshi]. So, again, the round is a tie.
Left.
秋ぞかし岩田の小野のいはずとも柞が原に紅葉やはせん
aki zo kashi
wata no ono no
iwazutomo
hahaso ga hara ni
momiji ya wa sen |
It’s Autumn!
At Iwata-no-Ono,
Needless to say,
The oak groves, all,
Are turning to scarlet leaves. |
Lord Ari’ie.
437
Right.
薄く濃くことは變れど柞原梢にこぞる秋の色かな
usuku koku
koto wa kawaredo
hahasowara
kozue ni kozoru
aki no iro kana |
First dark, then light
They change, yet,
Upon the oak groves’
Treetops gather
All the hues of autumn… |
The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.
438
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left state that they find ‘gather’ (kozoru) ‘grating on the ear’ [kikiyokarazu] and ‘clumsy’ [tezutsu].
Shunzei’s judgement: Starting a poem with ‘It’s Autumn!’ is a usage of diction which I must hope will be considered charming [kotobazukai okashikaran to shokiseru narubeshi]! The Right’s ‘treetops gather’ (kozue ni kozoru) is somewhat unexpected wording [sukoshi wa omoikakenu kotoba ni wa haberedo], yet one cannot call it ‘clumsy’. So, with nothing superlative or at fault with either poem, the round ties.
'Simply moving and elegant'