Left
玉章のたえだえになるたぐひかな雲井に雁の見えみ見えずみ
| tamazusa no taedae ni naru tagui kana kumoi ni kari no miemi miezumi |
His jewelled missives Have become intermittent It seems, just like The geese up in the skies, Glimpsed, and then not seen at all… |
Lord Ari’ie
1051
Right (Win)
思かぬる夜はの袂に風ふけて涙の河に千鳥鳴くなり
| omoikanuru yowa no tamoto ni kaze fukete namida no kawa ni chidori nakunari |
Unable to bear my love, At midnight my sleeve is Stirred by the wind, and Upon a river of tears The plovers are crying… |
Nobusada
1052
The Gentlemen of the Right state: we find no faults to mention in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: we wonder about the reason for emphasising ‘upon a river of tears the plovers’ (namida no kawa ni chidori).
In judgement: the Left on a lover’s letters becoming intermittent, and saying ‘the geese up in the skies, glimpsed, and then not seen at all’ (kumoi ni kari no miemi miezumi) has a charming conception, and elegant diction. The Right, saying ‘at midnight my sleeve is stirred by the wind’ (yowa no tamoto ni kaze fukete) and continuing ‘the plovers are crying’ (chidori nakunari) has a configuration and diction which sounds fine, too. The criticisms of the Gentlemen of the Left are nothing more than ‘a fisherman fishing beneath his pillow’! Although the conception of the Left’s poem is charming, the configuration of the Right’s poem is slightly more notable, so it should win.
Left.
いかでもと思し妹が有樣は語る人までなつかしきかな
| ikade mo to omoishi imo ga arisama wa kataru hito made natsukashiki kana |
Somehow, She has filled my thoughts, and When she is described, Even the one telling me Seems more dear! |
629.
Right.
雲間より聲を殘して歸る鳫聞かずはかゝる眺めせましや
| kumoma yori koe o nokoshite kaeru kari kikazu wa kakaru nagamesemashi ya |
From out the space between the clouds Linger the cries Of geese, homeward bound; Had I not heard them, I would not be so sunk in thought! |
630
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the use of the diction of ‘description’ (arisama) in the Left’s poem is inappropriate for the style of the poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is no more than a pedestrian poem on homeward-bound geese.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left certainly does sound most mundane and unpoetic. As for the Right, while it seems like an evocative poem addressed to the topic of homeward-bound geese, is it not difficult for geese, or people, to leave behind their cries? In addition, it is unclear what sort of thoughts it is that occupy the poet. Both poems’ style lacks clarity. Thus, they are comparable and the round must tie.
Left (Win).
松が根をいそべの浪のうつたえにあらはれぬべき袖の上かな
| matsu ga ne o isobe no nami no utsutae ni arawarenubeki sode no ue kana |
The pine trees’ roots By stony shore bound waves Are struck, and Must stand revealed Upon my sleeves. |
103
Right
初雁のとわたる風のたよりにもあらぬ思ひを誰につたへん
| hatsukari no towataru kaze no tayori ni mo aranu omoi o tare ni tsutaen |
The first, returning goose, Borne before the gate of heaven, of the unseen wind Is no harbinger; Just so the fires of my love: To whom should I reveal them? |
104
Left.
秋風にそよぐ田の面のいねがてにまつ明方の初雁の聲
| aki kaze ni soyogu ta no mo no ine ga te ni matsu akekata no hatsukari no koe |
The autumn wind Rustles o’er the fields Of rice; sleepless I await the dawn’s First goose-call. |
65
Right (Win)
生駒山あらしも秋の色に吹手染の糸のよるぞかなしき
| ikoma yama arashi mo aki no iro ni fuku tezome no ito no yoru zo kanashiki |
Upon Ikoma Mountain The storm wind with autumn’s longing Hues is gusting; Hand-dyed thread Twining in the night is sad, indeed. |
66
Left (Tie).
里の海人のしほやき衣たちわかれなれしもしらぬ春の雁がね
| sato no ama no shioyaki koromo tachiwakare nareshi mo shiranu haru no kari ga ne |
A village of sea-folk In their garb from the salt kilns Parted and departing Known and yet unknown The springtime cries of geese. |
11
Right
花の色にひとはるまけよ歸雁今年こしぢの空だのめして
| hana no iro ni hito haru makeyo kaeru kari kotoshi koshiji no sora danomeshite |
To the blossoms’ hues This single spring stay bound, O homeward-heading geese, This year let the northern folk Ask questions of the empty sky. |
12