Tag Archives: koe

Yasuakira shinnō tachihaki no jin uta’awase 02

Crickets

Left

ゆふさればこゑふりたててきりぎりすつゆをさむみやよもすがらなく

yū sareba
koe furitatete
kirigirisu
tsuyu o samumi ya
yomosugara naku
When the evening comes
Louder grow the cries
Of the crickets—
Is it the dewdrops’ chill that
Has them cry the night away?

Yoshimine no Yukikara
3

Right (Win – Tie in a certain text)

きりぎりすあきのよぶかくおもふかなねざめてきけどこゑのたえねば

kirigirisu
aki no yobukaku
omou kana
nezamete kikedo
koe no taeneba
Crickets
Deep on autumn nights
Do fill my thoughts!
I awaken and listen, yet
Their cries then fade away…

Miyaji no Okifuru
4

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 21

Round Nine

Left (Tie)

秋はぎを草の枕にむすびてや妻恋ひかねて鹿のふすらん

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubite ya
tsuma koikanete
shika no fusuran
The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
Has he woven—is that why
Unable to love his mate
The stag seems to lie?

Koreyuki
41

Right

妻こふる秋にしなればさをしかの床の山とてうちもふされじ

tsuma kouru
aki ni shi nareba
saoshika no
toko no yama tote
uchi mo fusareji
He yearns for his mate
In autumn, above all, so
In the stag’s
Bed among the mountains
He cannot lay him down, it seems.

Arifusa
42

The Left isn’t bad, but isn’t there Controller Kore’ie’s poem:

秋萩を草の枕にむすぶ夜はちかくもしかのこゑをきくかな

akihagi o
kusa no makura ni
musubu yo wa
chikaku mo shika no
koe o kiku kana
The autumn bush clover
For a grassy pillow
I weave tonight—
Close by, truly, a stag’s
Bell I hear! [1]

While there is this earlier example, neither core nor the conceptions of these poems are the same, and as the Right’s poem is not all that good, after careful consideration I make this a tie.


[1] On hearing a stag at his lodgings. KYS (3) III: 224

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 19

Round Seven

Left (Tie)

草がくれ見えぬをしかも妻こふる声をばえこそ忍ばざりけれ

kusagakure
mienu oshika mo
tsuma kouru
koe oba e koso
shinobazarikere
Hidden by the grasses,
Unseen, the stag, too
Longing for his mate,
His bell, indeed, is unable
To conceal!

Lord Yorimasa
37

Right

秋の野の花のたもとに置く露や妻よぶしかの涙なるらむ

aki no no no
hana no tamoto ni
oku tsuyu ya
tsuma yobu shika no
namida naruramu
In the autumn meadows,
Upon the blossoms’ sleeves
Are the fallen dewdrops
The stag—calling for his mate—
Letting tears fall?

Narinaka
38

The Left is novel, and the Right charming, respectively. The Right’s poem does have a large number of identical syllables—while this is criticized in the Code of the Creation of Poetry as a ‘whole body fault’, it is not the case that poems containing this defect have not appeared in poetry matches from time to time, and I don’t feel it’s necessary to examine whether there are a large number of similar cases here: such things are simply a style of poetry.

Daikōtaigōgū no suke taira no tsunemori-ason ke uta’awase 18

Round Six

Left

草枯のふしどさびしく成りゆけばしかこそ妻もこひしかるらめ

kusakare no
fushido sabishiku
nariyukeba
shika koso tsuma mo
koishikarurame
Among the withered grasses
He lies down, yet into lonely sadness
Does he sink, so
The stag his mate
Seems to long for all the more…

Suketaka
35

Right (Win)

さをしかの声しきるなりみよしののいさかた山に妻やこもれる

saoshika no
koe shikiru nari
miyoshino no
isakatayama ni
tsuma ya komoreru
The stag’s
Bell rends my heart—
In fair Yoshino
On Mount Isakata
Is his mate secluded.

Tōren
36

I don’t believe I have heard a prior instance of the Right’s ‘Isakata Mountain’, have I? In addition, there doesn’t seem to be any reason for its use here. In general, it’s preferable to compose using terms which are familiar. As for the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the stag only cares for his mate when the grasses are withered, but implying that grass only withers in the Ninth and Tenth Months is at variance with the actual period when it happens, isn’t it? Moreover, it is dubious to compose pivoting around the topic—and doing this has been stated to be undesirable in poetry matches. Indeed, I recall that in the Poetry Match at the Palace in the Fields, when someone composed pivoting on ‘maidenflower’, the judge criticized it, saying, ‘it is mangling the words of our land to compose in this manner.’ Thus, although the poem does have a freshness about it, the Right must win, I think.