竜田川紅葉葉とづる薄氷渡らばそれと中や絶えなむ
| tatsutagawa momijiba tozuru usukōri wataraba sore to naka ya taenamu |
The River Tatsuta: Scarlet leaves are sealed within Sheet ice; Should I cross would it Shatter in the centre? |
Ietaka
Tag Archives: kōri
Tametadake godo hyakushu 546
Tametadake godo hyakushu 545
Horikawa hyakushu 993
Love I: 11
Left.
氷ゐるみるめなぎさのたぐひかな上堰く袖の下のさゞ浪
| kōri iru mirume nagisa no tagui kana ue seku sode no shita no sazanami |
As ice-bound Algae on the beach Am I: The surface stopped up, but my sleeves Conceal a confusion of waves… |
621
Right.
我とはと思ふにかゝる涙こそ抑ふる袖の下になりぬれ
| ware to wa to omou ni kakaru namida koso osauru sode no shita ni narinure |
I should say nothing, I feel, and yet My tears, Held down by my sleeves, Do flow beneath them… |
622
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left do not seem to be expressing enough. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the initial line of the Right’s poem is difficult to pronounce. In addition, it is difficult to understand.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s ‘the surface stopped up, but my sleeves’ (ue seku sode no) and the Right’s ‘held down by my sleeves’ (osauru sode no) are both elegant in form [yū naru sama], but no matter how much I ponder them I find them difficult to comprehend, so again, there is no clear winner or loser this round.
Winter II: 19
Left (Win).
冴ゆる夜に鴛鴦の衾を方敷きて袖の氷を拂ひかねつゝ
| sayuru yo ni oshi no fusuma o katashikite sode no kōri o haraikanetsutu |
On a freezing night Beneath my duck-down bedding I lie alone; The ice upon my sleeve I can never brush away… |
577
Right.
木の葉をや鳥の上毛に殘すらん閨の衾も冴ゆる霜夜に
| ko no ha o ya tori no uwage ni nokosuran neya no fusuma mo sayuru shimo yo ni |
Are there any leaves Left by the birds For extra feathers? The bedding in my chamber Is frozen with frost tonight… |
578
Neither Left nor Right have anything in particular to say.
Shunzei’s judgement: I wonder about accepting the Left’s ‘Beneath my duck-down bedding I lie alone’ (oshi no fusuma o katashikite). The strengths and weaknesses are plain, and so there is not much more to say than that. The Left wins.
Winter II: 12
Left (Win).
清水もる谷の戸ぼそも閉ぢはてゝ氷を叩く嶺の松風
| shimizu moru tani no toboso mo tojihatete kōri o tataku mine no matsukaze |
Where spring waters flow From out the valley mouth Is stopped; Against the ice strikes The wind from off the pine-filled peaks. |
563
Right.
梢にも夜半の白雪積もるらし音弱り行嶺の松風
| kozue ni mo yowa no shirayuki tsumorurashi oto yowariyuku mine no matsukaze |
The treetops, too, Within the snows tonight Are buried, it seems: The sounds have softened of The wind from off the pine-filled peaks. |
564
Neither Left nor Right find any fault.
Shunzei’s judgement: The phrasing of both poems, such as ‘wind from off the pine-filled peaks’ (mine no matsukaze), ‘Against the ice strikes’ (kōri o tataku) and ‘sounds have softened’ (oto yowariyuku), has not particular strong or weak points [kōotsu nakuhaberedo], but still, ‘against the ice strikes’ seems a little superior.
Winter II: 1
Left.
山里は朝川渡る駒の音に瀬々の氷の程を知るかな
| yamazato wa asakawa wataru koma no oto ni seze no kōri no hodo o shiru kana |
Dwelling in the mountains, Crossing the river in the morning, The horses’ footfalls Upon the ice within the shallows Tells to me its depth… |
541
Right (Win).
谷河の氷るだにある山里に人も音せぬ今朝の白雪
| tanikawa no kōru dani aru yamazato ni hito mo oto senu kesa no shirayuki |
The streamlet, Even, has frozen At my mountain home; No folks’ footfalls On this snow-white morning… |
542
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left just remark that the Right’s use of ‘even’ (dani aru) is ‘poor’ [yokarazu].
Shunzei’s judgement: Despite the Left starting their poem with ‘dwelling in the mountains’ (yamazato wa), even if it is on a winter morning, where must it take place? It must be at a riverside estate, or village. In addition, the only element of the conception of morning, is ‘crossing the river in the morning’ (asa kawa wataru). I do wonder about the sound of ‘even, has frozen’ (kōri dani aru), but the snow in the morning is more moving and charming [aware mo okashiku mo] than the Left’s mere sound of horses’ hooves on ice, so the Right’s is the better poem.
Winter I: 29
Left (Tie).
いにしへの流れを受くる御狩かなその芹河の跡にまかせて
| inishie no nagare o ukuru mikari kana sono serikawa no ato ni makasete |
In days long gone, Flowed by here His Majesty’s hunting party; At the River Seri, Traces, tell the tale… |
537
Right.
いにしへの野守の鏡今日見れば御幸を映す氷なりけり
| inishie no nomori no kagami kyō mireba miyuki o utsusu kōri narikeri |
That long ago Falconer’s mirror: When I look on it today, Reflecting the progress is A sheet of ice. |
538
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left wonder whether ice is able to reflect anything, and what the purpose of using the term is.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are elegant [yū], starting with ‘In days long gone, flowed by here’ (inishie no nagare o ukuru) and ‘That long ago falconer’s mirror: when I look on it today’ (inishie no nomori no kagami kyō mireba) respectively, but the use of ‘the’ (sono) in the Left’s ‘the River Seri’ (sono serikawa) is poor [ika ni zo kikoyu]. The Right’s ‘ice’ (kōri) really does seem somewhat unsuitable. Thus, it is impossible to pick either as the winner.
Winter I: 21
Left.
人目こそ離れも果てなめ山里に日影も見えず霙降るころ
| hitome koso kare mo hatename yamazato ni hikage mo miezu mizore furu koro |
The bustle of folk Seems so far away, In a mountain home Where no sunlight but Sleet does fall… |
521
Right (Win).
かき曇りみぞるゝ空や冴えそめて氷も果てぬ時雨なるらん
| kakikumori mizoruru sora ya saesomete kōri mo hatenu shigure naruran |
Gathering clouds, Sleeting, fill the sky; The first chill of Endless ice In the coming shower… |
522
The Right state that they are unable to understand the point of ‘Sleet does fall’ (mizore furu koro). The Left state that ‘sleeting’ (mizoruru) is grating on the ear [kikinikushi]. In addition, the initial 5-7-5 structure is inconsistent [kiregire nari].
Shunzei’s judgement: In the Left’s poem what is the problem with understanding ‘sleet does fall’? However, what I would want it to say next is that the sunlight always falls. In the Right’s poem, one could have said ‘sleeted sky’ (mizoreshi sora), but ‘sleeting sky’ is also unproblematic [nan ni oyobubekarazu]. ‘Endless ice in the coming shower’ (kōri mo hatenu shigure naruran) is an unusual conception [kokoro mezurashiku], and ‘the first chill’ (saesomete) is also well positioned. The Right is slightly better and should win.